I've joined this forum today as my mum is, I believe, in the last stages of dementia.
Unfortunately, my Father in Law also had dementia and sadly passed away in hospital after suffering with pneumonia and sepsis back in March this year, and I know only too well how things can deteriorate very quickly.
My mum went in to hospital on the 7th may after becoming unwell with a water infection and an AKI acute kidney infection. I honestly thought we were going to lose her back then as she was unresponsive, refusing to open her eyes or speak.
Since then she seemed to recover, however she started to become really confused and unable to walk to get back and forth to the toilet. I raised my concerns as did my brother and we had to argue with the nurses who tried to send her home?? What were they thinking!
Basically, and this happens all too often, because my mum had a package of care in place, they all think it's OK to send her home with the same level of care. Which is ridiculous! She now needs pads on her bed for incontinence, she cannot eat properly and she needs help with being mobile. She is so confused she thought she was seeing dogs and cats in the hospital room. Which, clearly she wasn't. I asked for a social worker to be assigned but nothing was done.
She was moved to a different ward which is supposed to be the transition ward before going home. People on this ward are supposed to be medically fit and ready to go home, but from my experience this is not the case and most people on the ward need extreme additional support packages in place.
We've encountered lots of issues on this ward.
- Staff writing down a list of foods my mum likes but including food she doesn't like, so whenever the food trolly is rolled onto the ward they give her food she doesn't like.
Which doesn't help when she is now refusing food and drink. They asked me for the details so how could they get it so wrong.
- they don't tell us anything. It's like getting blood from a stone.
- I asked for a Continual Heathcare Funding Assessment to be considered but the Dr told me that she's seen others who she thought would qualify not get it. So she didn't think my mum would either. She has dementia, COPD, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, among other things and now she is losing so much weight, not speaking coherently, refusing food, drink and medicines.
- the nurse smirked at my sister in law when she told her that she was more confused than normal. As if to say what do you want me to do about it... but we were only telling them because we didn't want them to think her behaviour was normal.
- the nurses constantly told us that my mums 'base line' of mental capacity was back to normal...it absolutely was not. They have no idea how much she has changed since she'd been in hospital compared to her life prior to the 7th May.
- when I asked a group of nurses what we could do to help my mum because she's refusing food, not eating and refusing medication, and they LAUGHED at me. And said they couldn't force her to eat.
- another patient was standing next to my mums bed telling me that I should leave her alone and I was trying to kill my mum. The nurses let her stay there as they didn't want to move her away because she had a fork (as a weapon, since she was known to lash out) but they were OK with her standing that close to us as a family.
The Dr finally spoke to us today and said that they wouldn't put her on a drip or tube feed her because it could be too distressing. And so we just have to wait for her to deteriorate. She's just had test results come back showing an infection in the urine so will be back on antibiotics - so this is all just a horrendous viscious circle we cannot get out of until she gets a really bad infection, gets assigned a social worker that we are still waiting for or she dies.
They have tried to discharge her 3 times. And all three times the family have raised concerns so it's shocking to me that the discharge nurse was shocked when I said she didn't have capacity. They didn't know she lived on her own and thought she lived with me or my dad who hasn't lived in the same house as my mum for 11 years.
Some of the nurses are fantastic but some are absolutely shocking. They lack empathy and have no idea how to handle family questions let alone patients with dementia or additional complex needs.
Even the nurses on the ward (the nice ones) agreed with me and said that I should complain and speak to the ward manager.
I hope we can get her out of that ward ASAP and into a care home so that she can die somewhere else with dignity. My poor mum!
Unfortunately, my Father in Law also had dementia and sadly passed away in hospital after suffering with pneumonia and sepsis back in March this year, and I know only too well how things can deteriorate very quickly.
My mum went in to hospital on the 7th may after becoming unwell with a water infection and an AKI acute kidney infection. I honestly thought we were going to lose her back then as she was unresponsive, refusing to open her eyes or speak.
Since then she seemed to recover, however she started to become really confused and unable to walk to get back and forth to the toilet. I raised my concerns as did my brother and we had to argue with the nurses who tried to send her home?? What were they thinking!
Basically, and this happens all too often, because my mum had a package of care in place, they all think it's OK to send her home with the same level of care. Which is ridiculous! She now needs pads on her bed for incontinence, she cannot eat properly and she needs help with being mobile. She is so confused she thought she was seeing dogs and cats in the hospital room. Which, clearly she wasn't. I asked for a social worker to be assigned but nothing was done.
She was moved to a different ward which is supposed to be the transition ward before going home. People on this ward are supposed to be medically fit and ready to go home, but from my experience this is not the case and most people on the ward need extreme additional support packages in place.
We've encountered lots of issues on this ward.
- Staff writing down a list of foods my mum likes but including food she doesn't like, so whenever the food trolly is rolled onto the ward they give her food she doesn't like.
Which doesn't help when she is now refusing food and drink. They asked me for the details so how could they get it so wrong.
- they don't tell us anything. It's like getting blood from a stone.
- I asked for a Continual Heathcare Funding Assessment to be considered but the Dr told me that she's seen others who she thought would qualify not get it. So she didn't think my mum would either. She has dementia, COPD, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, among other things and now she is losing so much weight, not speaking coherently, refusing food, drink and medicines.
- the nurse smirked at my sister in law when she told her that she was more confused than normal. As if to say what do you want me to do about it... but we were only telling them because we didn't want them to think her behaviour was normal.
- the nurses constantly told us that my mums 'base line' of mental capacity was back to normal...it absolutely was not. They have no idea how much she has changed since she'd been in hospital compared to her life prior to the 7th May.
- when I asked a group of nurses what we could do to help my mum because she's refusing food, not eating and refusing medication, and they LAUGHED at me. And said they couldn't force her to eat.
- another patient was standing next to my mums bed telling me that I should leave her alone and I was trying to kill my mum. The nurses let her stay there as they didn't want to move her away because she had a fork (as a weapon, since she was known to lash out) but they were OK with her standing that close to us as a family.
The Dr finally spoke to us today and said that they wouldn't put her on a drip or tube feed her because it could be too distressing. And so we just have to wait for her to deteriorate. She's just had test results come back showing an infection in the urine so will be back on antibiotics - so this is all just a horrendous viscious circle we cannot get out of until she gets a really bad infection, gets assigned a social worker that we are still waiting for or she dies.
They have tried to discharge her 3 times. And all three times the family have raised concerns so it's shocking to me that the discharge nurse was shocked when I said she didn't have capacity. They didn't know she lived on her own and thought she lived with me or my dad who hasn't lived in the same house as my mum for 11 years.
Some of the nurses are fantastic but some are absolutely shocking. They lack empathy and have no idea how to handle family questions let alone patients with dementia or additional complex needs.
Even the nurses on the ward (the nice ones) agreed with me and said that I should complain and speak to the ward manager.
I hope we can get her out of that ward ASAP and into a care home so that she can die somewhere else with dignity. My poor mum!
