Hello. Mum has been newly diagnosed and is in early stages. She’s quite cognitive at the moment, so far it’s classic symptoms like forgetfulness and lack of understanding anything new or technology. And misremembering a past event or conversation. She’s just started living with us as her home is 200 miles away. She’s happy to sell up and make the move permanent. i have so many questions. I’m very much looking forward to reading through these posts because currently I just feel so unsettled.. I don’t know what I need to know! Mum and I are very close (lost my dad 10 years ago) and I’m struggling with the changes in her, and my inability to know how to help her. Sometimes she can get angry if she’s not believed (if she says something we know isn’t true and might question her, but we’re learning not to do that unless it’s for her well being). One of my friends said “step into her world”, which I try to keep in my head for times like when she’s adamant a piece of washing isn’t hers, or that there are three episodes of Hollyoaks on every night and they definitely aren’t repeats. i have a fantastic husband and two grown up children, all very much wanting to support mums needs as best we can. I have full LPOA, mum put this in place years ago “just in case” so at least the doctors etc will talk to me as well as mum.
I hope to find lots of practical advice here, but for now, how do you cope? I mean day to day? I’m at home with mum most of the day and our house is really small. If I go for a bath then mum will find something she needs to ask me and sit chatting outside the door. Sometimes I get up early so I can get things done, if mum hears me she’ll get up too saying she doesn’t want me to be on my own. She’s adamant she doesn’t want to be a hindrance so she’ll get up to do the washing up (if I do it then she’ll just try to get there even earlier next time). She’ll fall asleep during the evening but refuse to go to bed until I say I’m going up. If I say it’s like a needy toddler I feel so awful and unkind, yet that’s how it is. I love her, I love her so much and it’s breaking my heart to know this is as good as she’s ever going to be, but sometimes I need to vent my frustration and cry, but there’s no opportunity to do that. I’m in this for the long haul, and I feel I’m failing already! Luckily mum seems oblivious. She says she has “head issues” but thinks that the tablets will make her better (she’s been put on Donepezil, taking since last week). She doesn’t mention Alzheimer’s except to say “thank goodness I won’t get to that stage”. Thank you for reading, sorry for rambling.
I hope to find lots of practical advice here, but for now, how do you cope? I mean day to day? I’m at home with mum most of the day and our house is really small. If I go for a bath then mum will find something she needs to ask me and sit chatting outside the door. Sometimes I get up early so I can get things done, if mum hears me she’ll get up too saying she doesn’t want me to be on my own. She’s adamant she doesn’t want to be a hindrance so she’ll get up to do the washing up (if I do it then she’ll just try to get there even earlier next time). She’ll fall asleep during the evening but refuse to go to bed until I say I’m going up. If I say it’s like a needy toddler I feel so awful and unkind, yet that’s how it is. I love her, I love her so much and it’s breaking my heart to know this is as good as she’s ever going to be, but sometimes I need to vent my frustration and cry, but there’s no opportunity to do that. I’m in this for the long haul, and I feel I’m failing already! Luckily mum seems oblivious. She says she has “head issues” but thinks that the tablets will make her better (she’s been put on Donepezil, taking since last week). She doesn’t mention Alzheimer’s except to say “thank goodness I won’t get to that stage”. Thank you for reading, sorry for rambling.
