new member

[priyass]

This is my first time posting

Just in the last 6 months my 64 year old mother was just diagnosed with dementia, which everyone tells me she is very young to have it. She seems to be having a hard time adjusting to this new information. For years she has always been a wanderer while we were out shopping or out for a walk, for example while we would walk around the mall she would just stop at any store that she wanted but not say anything to anyone about stopping, we would just turn around and she would be gone. She would always put things away and forget where they were, for example one year she put away some tickets to a play and then couldn't remember where they were and everyone would just joke that she put them away for 'safe keeping'. Over the last few years things started to go down hill and my father finally was able to convince her to go to the doctor to have it checked out. I am glad that now there is finally an answer but it is scary also. I have noticed that since she received the diagnosis she has been more withdrawn and doesn't really like to go out anymore. Her and I used to go out all the time, shopping, for lunch, or for a walk, but now she likes to stay home. She has also been repeating the same questions and statements over and over, most people are very patient with her but others just don't understand that she is not doing it on purpose. I am glad that she feels safe at home but not liking that she seems scared to leave the house and be adventurous.

 

[stanleypj]

Hello priyass, and welcome to TP. You probably know that dementia can strike at almost any age and, though it is far more likely to affect older people, there are many people of the same age as your mother, or younger than her, who are living with dementia.

Maybe it's not so surprising that your mum has been adversely affected by the diagnosis. Presumably she still has an awareness, at some level, of the siginificance of the diagnosis.

It's probably a good idea for you to gently encourage her to come out with you, reminding her of the good times you have had. Small steps to start with, of course, but it's quite possible that you will be able to get her back into the old routines. Try to find out what is happening locally in terms of activities for people with dementia and their carers. The two 'choirs' we go to each week are highlights for my wife. Even though she cannot remember many of the lyrics she still 'joins in' to an extent and it's clear that she likes the fact that people say hello.

I'm sure other people will be along with further help and advice.

Take care

 

[Pookie]

Hello. Your mum and I could be twins,in the way dementia is. I too wander of in the market and stores but now as yoi said I feel safer at home. I was 65 when I got the diagnosis and was told.
Go home and enjoy your life.home etc for as long as you are able.so I did.
Jobs are done but more slowly amd a nap in between works wonders.
Lookafter yourselves also.
Peter&Jean Ugly

 

[Chook]

Hi there

I just wanted to say hi and welcome you on board. My mum has in her late 60s when diagnosed and I have always felt she's just too young. She's now nearly 72 and I still feel she's too young to have this nasty disease! Your mum is even younger, it must be a terrible shock for her and you.

I have read that it's quite common to go into depression after a diagnosis. I think I'd be pretty depressed if someone told me I had dementia too. Do you think this could be what your mum is experiencing? My mum's always been a bit depressed so I didn't really see much difference in her. Maybe give her a bit of time and then do small trips, maybe to a cafe or garden centre.

Big hugs. PM me if you want a chat any time.

Chook
x

 

[just_dolphin]

hi there

I just wanted to say hello, im new here to My mum is 63 and just been diagnosed yesterday.
I dont know much about this but I expect your mum just feels a little withdrawn as its a lot to take in. My mum wass aware of her problems but it still come as a massive shock to her when she was told. Maybe just genlly hint to her about going for a small walk or to the corner shop. I know my mum thought that she would wake up and everything would be different now shes been diagnosed and actually it relaly isnt.

sorry I cant help more but im happy to listen

sam x

This is my first time posting

Just in the last 6 months my 64 year old mother was just diagnosed with dementia, which everyone tells me she is very young to have it. She seems to be having a hard time adjusting to this new information. For years she has always been a wanderer while we were out shopping or out for a walk, for example while we would walk around the mall she would just stop at any store that she wanted but not say anything to anyone about stopping, we would just turn around and she would be gone. She would always put things away and forget where they were, for example one year she put away some tickets to a play and then couldn't remember where they were and everyone would just joke that she put them away for 'safe keeping'. Over the last few years things started to go down hill and my father finally was able to convince her to go to the doctor to have it checked out. I am glad that now there is finally an answer but it is scary also. I have noticed that since she received the diagnosis she has been more withdrawn and doesn't really like to go out anymore. Her and I used to go out all the time, shopping, for lunch, or for a walk, but now she likes to stay home. She has also been repeating the same questions and statements over and over, most people are very patient with her but others just don't understand that she is not doing it on purpose. I am glad that she feels safe at home but not liking that she seems scared to leave the house and be adventurous.

 

[Trisha4]

My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year at 66 but he had obviously had the disease for a few years. I am the sort of person who finds it easier to cope if I am being proactive. It makes me feel more in control and dementia takes your control. So we have visited memory cafés, started a two day CrISP course, registered at the GP surgery as a carer. Today we went to the library and I asked about 'quick read' books ad my husband loves to read but it takes him longer now and it is more effort. They found those they had and I can order more. They discussed with us both what would help him. Can you try to get her to think about what she can do rather than what she had lost. I know it's not easy but could you talk her into going somewhere so that she can see that she can do it. I wish you well.

 

[Willamina]

My mum is 66 and was diagnosed earlier this week with alzhmers Although my family all knew this is what is what. It still felt a big shock to me and my family. My mum is in total denial that anything is wrong. Heart breaking xx

 

[BR_ANA]

My mum is 66 and was diagnosed earlier this week with alzhmers Although my family all knew this is what is what. It still felt a big shock to me and my family. My mum is in total denial that anything is wrong. Heart breaking xx

At least she can have some pills which MIGHT help her memory.

 

[stanleypj]

Some pills which might help her memory is all anyone can say, I think.

 

[Kijo]

I agree with Trisha4! Try to help your mom focus on what she can do wrather than on what she is no longer able to do - I found once I, and my husband (diagnosed at 55) could change our focus he came out of his shell a bit more. A side effect is that it helped me stay positive as well.
Best of luck, I know it is heart-breaking all around, but there are many memories to be made yet so don't give up trying to get her out and about.

 

[Saffie]

When my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in her 60s, over 30 years ago, we were told that Alzheimer's is the name given to pre-senile dementia.

However, it now seems that that words 'senile dementia' have fallen away and Alzheimer's includes dementia in both the younger and older age group.

As you can see from the replies here, mid -sixties is really quite a common time for diagnosis and even more so for symptoms to appear.
It is sad as it is at just the time when folk are looking forward to enjoying a life of retirement though a diagnosis doesn't have to prevent this from being accomplished.
I hope your mother becomes less nervous about going out in time. Receivingthe diagnosis must have been a shock for her. Best wishes.

 

[Trisha4]

It's me again. We still holiday abroad and go out together. I do hope your Mum can think about what she still has rather than what she had lost. We have to learn to live with Alzheimer's as it isn't going away.

 

[Trisha4]

The other thing I suggest is getting lasting power attorney now before she becomes worse. Much easier to do.