Hi, my name is Tony, my wife and OH of nearly 30 years was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) nearly 3 years ago after a nurse at our GP Surgery noticed her repeating the same questions several times. I am now 70, my OH is a few years older… However this year has what seems to have been for both of us a rapid decline and the diagnosis changed to “Dementia - type Alzheimer’s mild” and I am her carer of course.
Many thanks to all those who have posted on this Forum, some of the things I have read has been really useful posts and I know that everything I am seeing is being shared by so many others!
We are still on her “medication journey” with very good support from the local Old Peoples Mental Health Team (OMPHT), we aren’t where either of us would like to be! The biggest issues that caused us grief are (using OMPHT terms) “loss of my recognition” and “loss of our story”, usually both at the same time… That is probably not too surprising as this is not our first marriage, we met nearly 30 years ago and have just gone through our 27th wedding anniversary. When she slips back temporarily for more than 30 years of course then I don’t exist! When these types of events first happened I found it very difficult to deal with (naturally I guess).
I am still learning (and struggling, I recognise the “screaming inside” comment on many forum posts) on how to give non inflammatory answers to many (ordinary husband and wife talking) questions and comments, which is so hard in these circumstances! I have been given 3 simple rules, don’t correct, don’t contradict and don’t argue. The first 2 can be so hard sometimes, a simple question which I would normally answer with “yes I know” can really set things off… I am learning, I know it’s much, much harder for her than me! I can just agree with many other people, this illness / disease is just the worst!
Oops, less of an introduction and more of a ramble!
Ps the Dementia Support phone line is also brilliant!
Many thanks to all those who have posted on this Forum, some of the things I have read has been really useful posts and I know that everything I am seeing is being shared by so many others!
We are still on her “medication journey” with very good support from the local Old Peoples Mental Health Team (OMPHT), we aren’t where either of us would like to be! The biggest issues that caused us grief are (using OMPHT terms) “loss of my recognition” and “loss of our story”, usually both at the same time… That is probably not too surprising as this is not our first marriage, we met nearly 30 years ago and have just gone through our 27th wedding anniversary. When she slips back temporarily for more than 30 years of course then I don’t exist! When these types of events first happened I found it very difficult to deal with (naturally I guess).
I am still learning (and struggling, I recognise the “screaming inside” comment on many forum posts) on how to give non inflammatory answers to many (ordinary husband and wife talking) questions and comments, which is so hard in these circumstances! I have been given 3 simple rules, don’t correct, don’t contradict and don’t argue. The first 2 can be so hard sometimes, a simple question which I would normally answer with “yes I know” can really set things off… I am learning, I know it’s much, much harder for her than me! I can just agree with many other people, this illness / disease is just the worst!
Oops, less of an introduction and more of a ramble!
Ps the Dementia Support phone line is also brilliant!
