Hi everyone, my dad who just turned 85 has been living with me and my partner for 2.5 years in Wales. I’ve noticed a big decline in his memory the last year and due to other medical issues clouding any potential diagnosis (iron deficiency, TIA, upper GI tract bleeds etc) taken me over 9 months to get to the stage where the GP finally agreed there is cognitive impairment not due to any physical illnesses. He’s been referred to a memory assessment clinic but there’s a wait involved. And at the moment we are at the stage where he is not safe to be left alone in my opinion such as leaving taps running, gas hob on but does not see the danger in doing these things (gets defensive about it even though I’m as gentle and tactful as I can be when talking with him about these things). I also am a carer for my mum who lives almost 300 miles away lives alone and lost her eyesight 2 years ago. So my time is spent as equally as I can going back and forth between them both (when I’m not at home my partner looks after my dad). I just wondered if there’s an agencies or organisations anyone knows of that may be able to offer some practical advice and maybe some emotional support for me too. It’s extremely hard watching someone you love decline and I just want my dad to be safe and as happy as he can possibly be. Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post xx
New member looking for advice for my dad
- Thread starter Lisa F
- Start date
Hello @Lisa F , you will find a lot of support and advice on here and we are all happy to respond as many have been in your shoes.
Have a look to see if there is a local carers centre to you, they will be able to give you lots of advice and support .
www.carersuk.org
Even with out a diagnosis , it might be worth asking social services to assess your dad and you can ask for a carers assessment at the same time. This again will be quite a wait but it will get your situation on their radar. Maybe you mum would also considered having some outside help to ease your load?
Have you got LPA for either of your parents yet, if not now would be a good time to approach this topic with them.
www.gov.uk
These is also the help line on here , so you can ring and talk through your situation.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Have a look to see if there is a local carers centre to you, they will be able to give you lots of advice and support .
Support where you live | Carers UK
www.carersuk.org
Even with out a diagnosis , it might be worth asking social services to assess your dad and you can ask for a carers assessment at the same time. This again will be quite a wait but it will get your situation on their radar. Maybe you mum would also considered having some outside help to ease your load?
Have you got LPA for either of your parents yet, if not now would be a good time to approach this topic with them.
Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney
How to make a lasting power of attorney (LPA): starting an application online, choosing an attorney, certifying a copy, changing an LPA.
Contact us
Find out how to get in touch with Alzheimer's Society by phone, email, post or online.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Welcome to the forum @Lisa F.
You might also find the Admiral Nurse service helpful -
www.dementiauk.org
You might also find the Admiral Nurse service helpful -
What is an Admiral Nurse and how can they help?
Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.
www.dementiauk.org
Hi SAP Thanks so much for responding and for your advice. Dad had an assessment over a year ago before his decline as he had other medical problems and I had a carers assessment same time, I received a lot of leaflets and pamphlets and dad got a couple of pieces of equipment to help with his mobility but that was about it. Ive been battling his doctors for some time over his capacity decline and we’ve only just started down the path of trying to get a diagnosis now his GP accepts dad is showing signs of cognitive impairment but you are probably right in contacting social care now as these things take time. I’m looking into LPA for my mum as she wants it, I’m a little anxious about doing same for my dad just because every time I need to talk with him about anything it becomes a battle and it’s exhausting and he gets really upset. Think I’ll have to pick my moment with that one! Thanks again for your advice, its much appreciated.
Hi. Yes I too think its good to get the ball rolling as early as possible. Re LPA to gain this the person has to be of sound mind. So it may be too late to gain that for your dad. Bit worth checking out. However, you still are his next of kin so you still have equal say over his care. My brothers got it for my Mums finances. But it created all sorts of problems. So there are down sides to it.
Is it worth getting an electric cooker, to ensure your dad doesn't risk turning the gas on when you are not there? Many retirement flats etc just have ceramic hobs now and storage heaters to avoid problems with gas cookers/fires.
Is it worth getting an electric cooker, to ensure your dad doesn't risk turning the gas on when you are not there? Many retirement flats etc just have ceramic hobs now and storage heaters to avoid problems with gas cookers/fires.
I was discussing this with my partner last night converting to electric, I think it may be the way forward. Going to chat with my solicitor about an LPA too, to be honest I feel a bit overwhelmed with the vast info I need to get to grips with. Thanks for the info
You may find calling Age UK helpful . They have a national helpline, so you can chat through ideas, they also have loads of online leaflets to read. They will send you hard copies as well. I felt overwhelmed with all the information I needed to get to grips with.
I found them wonderful.
Take care.
I found them wonderful.
Take care.
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