Hi Everyone, I've been lurking here a few months since finding out my Aunt has dementia. I've found this forum very useful and educational so first of all I'd like to say thanks to you all for sharing your experiences and knowledge.
I'll try not to make my first post too long, but here's my situation in a nutshell:
In my immediate family there's just me, my mother (89) and my aunt (86). They both live on their own in their own houses in South London, about 45 minutes away from each other and 1 1/2 hours away from me. They have always been very independent and have been happy living their own lives and doing their own thing.
Last year, my aunt was admitted to hospital after a fall and during that stay they must have realised all was not well and so carried out a head CT scan, MMSE and referred her to the memory clinic for an assessment. To cut a long story short, the MC appointment didn't happen due to an admin error so I took her to the GP and we got another one booked in which happened a few weeks ago.
I've been speaking to SS, her GP and the Community Nurse she saw at the MC and they all offer help but she refuses it all claiming there's nothing wrong and she can look after herself. The last visit I made with the Nurse ended up with us on the doorstep and her refusing to let him in do an assessment of her living conditions and refusing all offers of help.
My aunt's house is in a very poor condition and full of clutter. There's no central heating, hot water or working telephone line because as faults have occurred she just refuses to let anyone in the house to fix them (even by me). The obvious way forward (to me at least) is for her to move into my mother's house, where there is plenty of room and a much nicer environment and they can essentially look after each other until we need to organise home help or care. My mother agrees to this but getting her sister to is proving difficult.
Her excuse is always that she has "so much to do at home" she can't possibly move out. What she does there all day is beyond me and it just seems to be a tactic to avoid the subject. I can understand this as it's a big change that's likely to be difficult to come to terms with, but it's going to be the best way to get her to a safe environment and care for her if she won't let anyone in her house.
Does anyone have any advice as to the best way to tackle this and how we might convince her this is for the best?
Thanks
I'll try not to make my first post too long, but here's my situation in a nutshell:
In my immediate family there's just me, my mother (89) and my aunt (86). They both live on their own in their own houses in South London, about 45 minutes away from each other and 1 1/2 hours away from me. They have always been very independent and have been happy living their own lives and doing their own thing.
Last year, my aunt was admitted to hospital after a fall and during that stay they must have realised all was not well and so carried out a head CT scan, MMSE and referred her to the memory clinic for an assessment. To cut a long story short, the MC appointment didn't happen due to an admin error so I took her to the GP and we got another one booked in which happened a few weeks ago.
I've been speaking to SS, her GP and the Community Nurse she saw at the MC and they all offer help but she refuses it all claiming there's nothing wrong and she can look after herself. The last visit I made with the Nurse ended up with us on the doorstep and her refusing to let him in do an assessment of her living conditions and refusing all offers of help.
My aunt's house is in a very poor condition and full of clutter. There's no central heating, hot water or working telephone line because as faults have occurred she just refuses to let anyone in the house to fix them (even by me). The obvious way forward (to me at least) is for her to move into my mother's house, where there is plenty of room and a much nicer environment and they can essentially look after each other until we need to organise home help or care. My mother agrees to this but getting her sister to is proving difficult.
Her excuse is always that she has "so much to do at home" she can't possibly move out. What she does there all day is beyond me and it just seems to be a tactic to avoid the subject. I can understand this as it's a big change that's likely to be difficult to come to terms with, but it's going to be the best way to get her to a safe environment and care for her if she won't let anyone in her house.
Does anyone have any advice as to the best way to tackle this and how we might convince her this is for the best?
Thanks