1. Poisson

    Poisson Registered User

    May 24, 2015
    2
    Hi, new to this site but thought it might be worth a try in order to offer much needed help & advice to my father who is struggling in the care of my mother.

    First a little background. My mother is awaiting her hospital appointment which will we suspect diagnose her with some sort of dementia having watched her deteriorate over the last year or so.

    My dad's current difficulty is getting my mum to get new clothes which she desperately needs having only one pair of trousers and shoes that fit. My mother flatly refuses to look at let alone try on anything when he takes her clothes shops instead shouting my dad down that she does not need any. In an effort to avoid a scene my dad simply gives up and takes my mother home where she refuses to talk to him for the next couple of hours.

    Has anyone else come across similar issues and if so could you please tell me how you overcame it?

    Hoping someone can offer some suggestions.

    Thanks
     
  2. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    5,737
    North East Lincs
    No shouting down here but been trying to get my O H new clothes for months without success. Have taken loads of gear back and forth. My OH often looks scruffy in tired clothing that is sometimes inside out or back to front. She has all sorts of reasons why clothes are not suitable or she does not need any new garments. I am not even sure if she has tried on some much needed underwear that she chose over a week ago. My guess is that it has remained in the box it came home in. Hope someone can suggest a way forward for us both.
     
  3. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,713
    Female
    London
    Would it be an idea to simply buy something in her size and usual style and hang it in her wardrobe? Then bring it out pretending she's had it a while already? My OH definitely does not realise when I buy him new clothes.
     
  4. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,781
    Salford
    I just hid all her clothes in the spare room then then when she opens the drawer every morning as if by magic are that days clothes. It helped that I'd moved the wardrobes too while I decorated. I think it helps to pull off a stunt like this if you do the same for yourself and leave some standard stuff like a sock or knicker drawer full as normal.
    K
     
  5. Poisson

    Poisson Registered User

    May 24, 2015
    2
    Thanks for the replies much appreciated. Beate we are trying that with online ordering but it will only work with clothes etc. We are confident of the fit for. New trousers arrive next week so keeping our fingers crossed.
     
  6. Optomistic

    Optomistic Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    116
    Manchester
    When somebody has dementia they seem to loose interest in clothes shopping my husband is like that. I just choose something for him and buy it and when we go out he picks it up and looks quite smart. You have to take charge a bit an assist with choosing what to wear and when to be tidy. They often find it hard to make decisions.
     
  7. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    5,737
    North East Lincs
    Thanks for the suggestions. One of the other problems here is that O H is extremely sensitivity to fragrances and new clothes generally have to be washed before she can tolerate them. She has great awareness over what is hers and all the others gear that others have left here or donated. Her wardrobes are full of clothes that don't fit as she has lost so much weight since stroke. At the moment she lives in a pair of blue joggers and a couple of tops that are frequently in the wash. Perhaps the warmer weather will help . Who knows?
     
  8. Mibs

    Mibs Registered User

    May 26, 2014
    73
    Derbyshire
    Our shopping days are over, and if left to his own devices, my husband would wear the same stuff every day. I lay his clothes out every morning - he just accepts my choice of outfit, and new stuff magically appears via t'internet. If you buy similar colours and obviously same sizes the transition's seamless, and it's really good to see them in decent stuff - pay attention to detail, we're on our third identical (almost) red jacket.
    Good luck
    Mx
     
  9. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,781
    Salford
  10. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,171
    Female
    Chester
    Somehow when I presented my mum with a new fleece jacket, which she didn't recognise (I had been trying to get her to wear it for a while) she decided someone had bought it as a present so I went along with it and she wore it. I know wouldn't work for everyone.

    Whether because she was short of money for a big chunk of her life or dementia money saving behaviour, she wouldn't look at clothes I bought her from M & S as considers them too expensive, but would from BHS as she perceives them to be cheaper. The fleece was M & S so in her mind where you would go to buy a present but not for yourself I guess.
     
  11. theunknown

    theunknown Registered User

    Apr 17, 2015
    325
    I'm posting a link for a company I found online, but if it's inappropriate to put the link on here I hope there's somebody who can remove it. The reason I'm mentioning it is because my mum's new care home suggested stuff she needed and I had no idea what would be suitable, plus she's lost a lot of weight so some of the clothing she had no longer works. I Googled and found this website:
    www.designedtocare.co.uk
     
  12. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    7,592
    Yorkshire
    Some interesting info on that site :) Thanks.
     
  13. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    I did the same for Pete. Seemed to do the trick:)
     

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