1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    This afternoon Phil moved into a nursing home, he had a really bad day yesterday, so I was expecting problems, but no, he looked around his room, and picked up a little dog toy I had put on the bed, stipped off and got under the covers with the little dog and promptly had a nap, meanwhile I unpacked his clothes, the staff bought us a cuppa, and the chef came and sorted out any dietary needs.

    After he woke up we had a potter around ( got him dressed first of course! appalled at how stick thin he is now) went into a day room, and one of the carers bought his dinner to him, and because he is new and his hands were shaking she helped him to eat it, he was like a little lamb, they are going to try and get some weight back on him, all the meals are home cooked, and they get home baked cakes and goodies in the afternoon as well, ( thinking of moving in myself) I really thought it would be an awful first day, but it went so smoothly cant believe it, twice he took my hand and kissed it, brought tears to my eyes, cant remember him doing that before. I know he will now need time to settle, but its a good start, and Thursday I am taking Spike in to see him, sure he will be pleased to see him, the other residents might like to see a little dog, not sure how Spike will react, been over 2 months since he saw his Dad. All in all a good day for a change and the sun is shining as I type this what more can I ask. :):)
  2. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    Oh mabbs! Your post bought tears to my eyes. It's such a hard time to deal with. I'm so sorry it's come to this-but it is the right decision. The CH seems lovely-as was Pete's. You will soon get to know the staff and they will quickly get to know Phil. They will build him up again and I hope the settling in period goes well for both of you.

    Your little dog will be welcome by everyone I'm sure.


    Lyn T XX
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Oh Mabbs I'm so glad your day went well.
  4. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    So pleased to read this mabbs, you and Phil have had a tough time but hopefully things are getting better. Hope it all continues well. Take care x
  5. Roses40

    Roses40 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    Thank you for posting such a meaningful thread. Love Rose x
  6. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    Glad your day went well and hope your husband settles in well. x

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  7. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Sounds as lovely and caring a place as my hubby lives in. Really glad for you both :)
  8. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    That is lovely Mabbs. I'm so glad. You must be so relieved.
  9. Caz60

    Caz60 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    I'm so glad it went well for you at least you can feel calm and then ,one day at a time,.xx
  10. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    Dear mabbs. Feeling for you tonight as you come to terms with it all. Glad he has made himself at home and hope he settles well. Sounds as those you have chosen your home well too and that he will get lots of loving care.xxx
  11. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    So happy for you Mabbs glad it all went well for both of you and that you can start to relax a bit more it has been a stressful few months for you I am sure Phil will be happy to see his little dog hugs from Sandi xxx
  12. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    So glad for you Mabbs. Now, new beginnings, as you say. Of course there will be bad days - but there is only one way to go, and that's forward. That's why, when William had to go in to full time care, I started the thread "Forward Ho!" - as much to keep myself focused on the future, and not dwelling on the awful time that had gone before, as anything else. Well done you - you have provided your husband with the best possible care, realising that you couldn't do it all yourself anymore. The home sounds lovely - we are very fortunate, those of us who found such good nursing homes for our loved ones. xx
  13. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    Hi Mabbs

    I'm so pleased all went smoothly with the move and Phil seemed settled. Obviously the CH had an atmosphere that made him feel comfortable, which was brilliant. That is such a great start, long may it continue. xx
  14. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    So pleased for you mabbs that all went well today, is it far for you to visit? I hope you don't have too far to go. Sending you a great big ((((HUG))))
  15. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    So pleased day one was a good one. :)
  16. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    Hi pamann,

    Its about 35 to 40 mins away, but unlike the hospital which was 10 mins away, I think I will be able to spend more time there when I visit, especially when I take spike with me, hoping more quality time from now on. thanks for the hug
  17. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    thanks Sandi, hope things are goig better for you as well. Sandra hugs xxx
  18. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    thanks you everyone, for your kind comments and thoughts.

    Hoping now it will be quality time, and that he settles I am expecting an up and down couple of weeks, but hoping that it will go smoothly. As long as he is happy nothing else matters now. xx
  19. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    Hi Mabbs. This brought tears to my eyes too. What a good experience in a potentially horrid one Like many of us on here I dread the day Mick has to go into a home but reading something like your post, makes me realise it can be positive for both of you. Thank you and God wishes to you both x

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  20. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    Phil has been in the CH for just over a week now, he sits in one of the day rooms, looking vacant, no response when I go and see him, he looks a bit better than when he first arrived, main problem is he wont sleep at night, he wanders about, 4am Monday morning they gave him a bath and popped him into bed, and he finally fell asleep, until lunch time, but most nights he is getting no more than a couple of hours, so he is continually tired in the day, and drifts off all the time, the first couple of visits he smiled at me, but since he wont even look at me, hoping its the settling in time. I took spike in, he was pleased to see a dog, but dont think he knew Spike was his dog, thought even if he forgot me, he would remember his little friend. He is definitely deteriorating, but at least I can see he is being well cared for.

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