Never ending misery

[maisiecat]

So I go to see my OH today as I do every day which is 2 and a half hours travelling on buses. I take a friend who he used to work with. Chatty and friendly with him fine with the staff then we are on our own and he starts. He wants to come home and first I try to deflect and then I am firmer about the care requirements that will be imposed by Pyschiatric team. He first cries and then becomes abusive saying its all my fault and he wants a divorce. He is then abusive about our son because he hasn't bought his guitar in,I hadn't actually asked him yet and he can't play it anyway. That was a 18month delusion with lessons every other week!
Came home on the bus and I thought is this just the rest of my life this endless misery. Do any of you feel like this?

 

[DeeCee7]

@maisiecat this is awful for you, and although I can see you are very dedicated in your visits, perhaps you could visit less often, to save your own sanity. I hope others come along and join in. On other threads I have read of people not visiting so often, and feel the benefits immediately. You need some self-care and treats, not endless misery.

 

[canary]

I too think you might be better not visiting so often.
I didnt visit mum in her care home every day and when OH is in respite I dont visit at all.

 

[scotlass]

I agree with what the others have said...I bet your stomach's in a knot all the while thinking about your visit, Take a break and do something you want to do...he's being looked after , now you look after yourself...good luck

 

[sdmhred]

Oh please give yourself a day off @maisiecat - if a friend is going that day, then that is a perfect excuse,,,,,,,

I visit mum loads because I want to and enjoy it….but today when she was struggling I took a break…..went out and came back ……it was lovely to drive off and leave someone else with the problems …