Need some guidance please

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by jack29, May 29, 2008.

  1. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    71
    Please help me with this one! My Dad is now in a great nursing home and I am really happy that he is safe and well.

    However when I visited him on Tuesday he was in the office and he wanted to see his Brother (who died almost 20 years ago). He said he had seen him in the NH, been holding his hand and talking to him. He had actually been in the room of the man opposite his:(
    I walked hime backed to his room and explained to him that his Brother had died some years ago and I told him various other details about the funeral etc. He seemed fine with all that when I left. His friend then went to visit yesterday and he said he was so glad she did as his Brother had died that morning and he needed me to arrange the funeral....his friend then explained things as I had done the day before.
    Today I got a call from the NH assistant manager to say that she was really sorry to hear thet my Dad's Brother had just died and that Dad was in a right upset state and wanted to know when I was going to go in to see him as he needs to speak to my about the funeral arrangements for his Brother...so I explained to her the situation once again....I have already put a note of this on Dad's file.
    I said I will call on Dad after work today (5pm)....how should I handle this? Any ideas please?


    Thanks
     
  2. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    71
    :(Sorry posted in wrong place could someone please move for me.

    Thanks
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,647
    Kent
    Hello Jack

    I think you will have to repeat the same story each time your father needs it. He is confused and forgets what you tell him.

    As he seems fine with your explanation, and he accepts what you say you are doing the right thing.

    I would try to ensure all staff know the situation which, now you have written it in his notes, should not be a problem.

    Take care xx
     
  4. margaritaadios

    margaritaadios Registered User

    Aug 13, 2007
    25
    Portsmouth
    take him

    I can only say why don't you arrange a day out to the cementry where his brother is that might be helpfull. Anyway i found that walking around this kind of places very peacefull.:cool:
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Jack...just answer dad's questions...remind him his brother died a long time ago,maybe that he grieved at the time....but that everything is ok now, everything is sorted. The staff should now be aware that this is an event from the past, and hopefully will be able to comfort and reassure dad. Hopefully dad will move on to different thoughts soon, and stop worrying about his brother.
    Best wishes,Helen
     
  6. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    71
    Thanks everyone for the advice. Went to see Dad and he was very tearful. He seems to be getting very upset about his confusion more than about the actual facts that he is getting muddled over. Yesterday he started so many sentances but was unable to complete them. He also seems to have become very insecure...he wanted me to promise to visit again today, which I will as he was so upset yesterday. He just seems really low and depressed, it seems to be out of frustration.
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,647
    Kent
    Hello Jack

    If your father is anything like my husband the tears and depression may be due to fear. My husband is always fretting about what is happening to his brain and is very frightened.

    You are possibly your father`s only link to reality and security.
    However good the home is, it`s a new environment and strange to him.

    I hope he`ll settle soon.

    Love xx
     

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