1. Q&A: Looking after yourself as a carer - Friday 25 January, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of that person will often come before your own, and this can mean that you don't always look after yourself.

    However, it's important for both you and the person you care for. But how do you do that properly?

    Our next expert Q&A will be on looking after yourself as a carer. It will be hosted by Angelo from our Knowledge Services team, who focuses on wellbeing. He'll be answering your questions on Friday 25 January between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Need advice I'm new!

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Lucy89, May 10, 2018.

  1. Lucy89

    Lucy89 New member

    May 10, 2018
    Hi everyone,

    My mum is 55 and was diagnosed with Alzheimers 4 years ago.

    She's rapidly getting worse no short term memory, can't find words (makes no sense when talking), regularly argumentative for what seems like no reason the list goes on.

    I guess my question is what's next? I know everyone different and its like asking how longs a piece of string but what can we expect?
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    hello @Lucy89
    and welcome to TP
    how tough for your mum and you to have had a diagnosis at such a young age
    she's fortunate to have you looking out for her
    it's so hard to say how your mum will be affected - you might have a look at the information on the main AS site - the link is at the very top right of this page - you'll also find a link on the AS site to their directory of local services; maybe visiting a local carers/dementia café and chatting to others in similar situations might help
    do keep her GP up to date with changes in her condition, so they have a full picture - it may be that some meds, or a tweak in her current meds, may be able to help
    there's lots of information and understanding on offer here - so keep posting with anything that's on your mind
  3. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    I wish I could answer your question.
    It is the same question I ask myself .
    We can only go on a day at a time "hoping for the better, but being ready to the worse" as we say here in Italy.

    NORTHSIDE Registered User

    Jan 28, 2017
    Hi Lucy, sorry to hear about your Mum. My wife is now 59 and was diagnosed with Alzheimers 5 years ago. She has all of the issues you mention. Currently she is obsessed with finding her, mum, dad, Gran and the cat all of whom died many years ago, this is from the moment she wakes up until she falls asleep. She uses it as an excuse not to do things e.g. 'would you like to have a shower' reply 'No I need to find my Dad' and so on. She also talks to someone in the mirror, quite often it's very light hearted and ends in laughter so I just let her get on with it. In truth I'd rather not know what's to come, for me it's easier to take a day at a time. Still some nice moments though, every now and then she tells me she loves me, funnily enough these can be the hardest moments. Good luck with looking after your Mum, I'd try not to look too far ahead.
  5. PJ

    PJ Registered User

    Jan 26, 2017
    Hi Lucy I’m sorry you are having such a hard time with your Mum.
    Stay strong it’s the only advice I can offer & we are all here if you need to talk x
  6. Malalie

    Malalie Registered User

    Sep 1, 2016
    Hello Lucy and welcome here.

    It must have been devastating for you and your family to find that your Mum developed Alzheimer's at such an early age. I'm very sorry.

    Reading around this forum can be quite scary - and some or none of those things could happen to your Mum. Each person with dementia is different, the same as each person on this forum is different. Just take things day by day and try and be informed about what is changing in your Mums mind This video is helpful with trying to understand why Mum is not like "Old Mum."


    I hope that helps a bit, and do keep posting - lots of friendly experienced people here.
  7. sford91

    sford91 Registered User

    Nov 4, 2015
    Hi Lucy

    My mum has front lobe dementia and was diagnosed at 56 she is now 59. If you want to talk I am here
  8. Ali48

    Ali48 New member

    May 5, 2018
    Hi Lucy I'm Alison my mum is 81 and she to has no key words when talking and gets very argumentative too I've realized it's because she knows what she wants to say but because she can't remember the words she needs she gets frustrated. What I've leant to do is try to ask her simply questions and then carefully listen to the words she remembers and try to put them into context with the question I asked and most of the time I work out what her answer is I know it sounds complicated but it does work....well most of the time! Hope this helps. Always here if you need to talk or vent no probs.
  9. chloehvy

    chloehvy Registered User

    May 4, 2018
    Hi Lucy
    I'm 21 and my Mum is 53 and just diagnosed 2 months ago
    Whilst I don't have any advice on what is to come as my mum isn't at that stage yet - I'm here if you want to talk to anyone in a similar boat too
    So sorry you're going through this - you're not alone xx

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