Nasty Habits!

[suzywoozie]

Hello everyone. My Dad has several things he keeps doing which I can only describe as 'nasty habits', and I wondered if anyone else has the same problem, and any advice on how to deal with it! Individually they are no big deal, but there are so many they are just about driving me nuts!

Teeth - He keeps taking his teeth out and rinsing them under the tap at the kitchen sink, he then clears his throat and spits in the sink before putting them back in. I've asked him numerous times to do it in the bathroom but he still continues.

Spitting - He seems to constantly clear his throat and spit. If at home he goes to the kitchen sink to do it, or into the waste bin in the kitchen. He even spat in the bin the other day when we had a visitor sat in the kitchen. Again, I've asked him to do it down the toilet or into tissue but he forgets. I have also found spit inside a drawer in his bedroom a couple of times.

Nails - He keeps getting knives from the kitchen drawer to clean out his nails - I bought him a little manicure set to try and cure this one, but he forgets he has it and just uses the nearest thing.

Toilet - Every time he goes for a wee there are always splashes on the floor and rim. I can't bring myself to mention this one to him. I'm thinking this one is inevitable for an 80 year old, and easily cleaned up!

Underwear and Socks - Unless I sneakily intervene, he wears the same underwear and socks and clothes day in day out. Even if he does change clothes he puts the dirty ones back. I have to sneak into his room while my husband distracts him downstairs, and go through everything to find the dirty stuff!

Poo - After he has had a bath there are nearly always poo marks on the towels. Mostly he keeps the wet towels in his room - he folds the up and puts them in a drawer. He caught me once taking them out and was furious and shouted at me for taking his towels away.

Drinks - He keeps emptying his cup out of the bedroom window at night - his room is above the living room and we hear his window open, drink lands on the living room windowsill and splashes up the window, then his window bangs shut. I don't understand this one at all, his room is right next to bathroom and he is in and out of the bathroom constantly. He fiercely denies that he does this!

OK that feels better now I written all that down!

Thanks.

Sue

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Sue

Oh I do sympathize.
My husband had similar habits and still has a few, although immobility has put an end to some of them.
I do know how unpleasant these habits are but I could only solve one.

Every night I put out clean clothes for my husband, before I took the dirty ones away. I did this when I realized he thought they were the only clothes he had, forgetting he had a wardrobe and drawers full of them.

 

[piedwarbler]

I sympathise. I know my FIL does one or two of these things anyway and he is not ill - it is really frustrating. I don't know how to advise you really, I expect he is acting out of character and is making the best of things by trying to cope in his own way.

It is tiring to cope with and try and tip toe round though, without incurring his wrath!

Hope you feel better for sharing. x

 

[scarletpauline]

Jack does one or two of these as well, particularly the underwear thing, it was one of the first symptoms I noticed before he was diagnosed. He also wees on the toilet and floor, and he goes so many times I can't really keep up with him.
He is driving me mad at the moment, just been for a walk and he walks a few steps behind me, like a child, it irritates me to death

 

[Grannie G]

Dhiren used to walk behind me too Pauline, until he needed to walk with me to hold on. I don`t know which was worse as walking holding on, gave me dreadful back and hip ache.

When he walked behind me, I wondered whether it was lack of spatial awareness, or not knowing where we were going.

 

[suzywoozie]

Oh my goodness yes, that is exactly what Dad does, walks behind me and it drives me nuts too. I stop to wait for him, he stops too! I guess it's because they don't know which way to head, but for some reason it's infuriating!

 

[Izzy]

Oh my goodness yes, that is exactly what Dad does, walks behind me and it drives me nuts too. I stop to wait for him, he stops too! I guess it's because they don't know which way to head, but for some reason it's infuriating!

Snap. This drives me up the wall for some reason. Even when I hold Bill's hand he is still a beat or two behind me.

 

[Sam Iam]

My mum changes her underwear daily but would wear the same clothes and PJ's all of the time.
She is always at my side and slightly behind and it can be sort of claustraphobic feeling and makes me panic. I know have a wheelchair for mum and although I have not used it my brother used when theta were away in shropshire and it was a great success.

I am on a sort of downer after my holiday and my lovely husband a given me a good talking to, reminding me that all of mums habits etc are the disease not mum. ( I hate it when Jim is right but I love him for it).

 

[Jackcat]

Today I took Mum and niece and nephew out for a walk and ice cream. Niece and nephew are 7 and 10 years old but guess which one of the three of 'em delighted in kicking up the leaves everywhere, stamped in puddles, got covered in choccie ice-cream and refused to use a flannel to clean up, and yes - walked ten steps behind us!

 

[scarletpauline]

Well it's sort of nice to know I'm not the only one having to lead the way, love Pauline xxx

 

[elaine n]

Gary walks behind me too!! He's done it for over a year now I thought it was just him who did it and yes it drives me mad too! I don't know why it irritates me so much but now I know it's not uncommon I'll try to be more patient we have the underwear thing too, if i didn't take his clothes away to wash and give him clean ones I think they'd rot on his body!

 

[sleepless]

Sue,
I can see how little things can annoy when there are so many of them, but we all have our habits, it's just that we don't always let everyone else see them!
The constant puddle in front of the loo used to get me down when we visited Dad -- I knew he couldn't help it, and never mentioned it to him, but we used far more loo roll on that task than for the usual use.
Be thankful it's only a drink landing on your windowsill -- dad had a habit of weeing through his bedroom window, but when on stronger medication, couldn't work out how to open the window........
Keep on going, and try not to let things get you down,
sleepless

 

[sussexsue]

Another one who suffers from mum shuffling behind me all the time. Someone once told me that AD sufferers have no concept of anything behind them (I have tested this theory and it seems to be true), so keeping us in their sights is probably a smart move

Mum is another who will change her pants each day, but nothing else. I steal her clothes when she has her weekly bath (and sadly I do mean weekly). Strangely can she can find a new set of clothes with out any problems.

Another gripe is that she hates her finger nails being cut. She files them into these sharp angled very long points (brown underneath - yuk). She is very proud of them. They make me feel sick. We now have got into a routine that she has a manicure every 6 weeks when she goes to the chiropodist.

 

[Margaret W]

I don't want to make light of anything, cos these habits are stressful, but I suggest that is all they are - habits. My father in law had some of those you mention and some others too, and had no sign of dementia. My husband is developing a few of those as well, and I feel like wopping him round the head with a wet towel. Some people have a lot of habits, some don't. Just something you have to live with I suppose, however unpleasant some might seem to be.

Love

Margaret

 

[sleepless]

Oh, Margaret! If we all responded to these habits by wopping with wet towels the din would be deafening!
Made me smile when I read that!
sleepless

 

[Christin]

Hello, just to let you know that we have to face most of these as well, especially the clearing of his throat and spitting. We thought it might be linked to a chest infection at first but that was all clear. Its almost continuous.

The drink tipping is interesting, I wonder where that comes from. We had drink tipped out of the bathroom window and it took me ages to understand why the kitchen window below was constantly dirty! This no longer happens.

The info re putting out clean underwear is good, although now FIL changes several times during the night, often there is nothing left in his drawers in the morning

There are other similiarites/variations too. I don't know what the answer is. FIL would only become cross if I mentioned any of them and so now I just keep quiet and clear up. It's exhausting.

 

[DMWalker]

My husband Dave too has most of these habits, I have given in with the spitting, he has recently had a bad chest, plastic cups didn't work he thought he had to drink out of it! I have given him a small plastic waste bin which I use a bin liner, it's working well, I hope he doesn't do it when we have company though.

I have to dress and undress him so I am in charge of his clothes, no problem there thank goodness.

He does walk behind me all the time but I've lost count of the times I turn round and he is going the other way.

I now have to take Dave to the toilet, he prefers to sit down so that helps. The only problem is he starts to take of his trousers before we go upstairs, that can be worrying if we have friends round!

Love Dee x

 

[Kara]

Am pleased that others have to put up with nasty habits, at times I could easily loose my temper with father in law, but what's the point, he doesn't realise what he is doing and is so pig headed he will not change.
Habits are not taking tea bag out of his pot and not washing the pot, bleach comes in handy! Smoking his pipe, he's still safe,and the fug in the room is awaful. Not washing plates when he has used them, or his cutlery. Having the tv on at full blast, he has a hearing aid but it's gone missing. Saying "Hello" when he is not lostening and wants you to say it again. But the main one is not wearing underpants, constant reminders not working! I put clean clothes out every day for him when I go and there are never dirty undies, doesn't see the need to wear them in the house. Bring washing home and straight into wash otherwise or house stinks as well.

Any ideas?

 

[Margaret W]

Hi sleepless, glad to make anyone smile. But I wasn't really smiling when I was thinking of all those habits that my husband has - and as I said, no sign of AD or anything similar.

Speech is one. Everything is so slow. It takes him five minutes to tell a tale that should take 30 seconds. Three words and he seems to have to pause to consider the next three words. Diction is another. I can't always tell what he says cos his voice is so low. He has never been a shouter like me, but he just doesn't seem to project his voice at all. And I've lost count of the number of stories he tells where he has missed out the key bit of information, and I am left not having a clue what the point is. He might be telling me a story about a man and his dog, but totally omits to mention the dog. Until the end, when I say something like "so why did he do that?" and he says "Because of the dog", and I have to say "What dog?" and so I am then aware than in the first sentence he should have said "There was this man who had a dog". But it isn't AD, it is just the way he is. His dad was the same. No AD there either.

Phew!

Or am I wrong that there is no AD?

Margaret

 

[scarletpauline]

He does walk behind me all the time but I've lost count of the times I turn round and he is going the other way.

Oh crikey I never thought of that!