I have followed your threads in the past and just wanted to say that i was sorry to hear your news, i hope your pain eases a little knowing that Win is no longer suffering and that her passing was peaceful.
Pammy, that's up to you, there's no right or wrong about it.
I always found it comforting, to see the body made whole again, but without the 'person' within. It helped me to know that it was finally over, and I could make my last goodbyes. There's nothing scary, it's all very calm and peaceful.
But not everyone wants to do this, and you have to go with your own feelings. Whatever you will be OK.
We'll all be thinking of you on Tuesday, and if you want to post again in the meantime, we're here.
Still feeling I should have been there at the end but realistically she did't know we were there for the last few days.
Don';t know whether to go and see her in the funeral home.[/QUOTE]
Having worked for several years with terminally ill children, I know that very often the dying person seems to wait until they are on their own to die. I know this probably sounds weird, and I have often wondered about it, but it seems to be a well accepted phenomena. In some cases the dying person has died in the time it takes the watching person to go to the 'loo (no more than a very few minutes) after hours and days of being by the bedside. I have wondered if they hold on while some one is with them . . . ?? Who can tell?? But please, do not give yourself a hard time about not actually being there. Perhaps you could see it as giving Win permission to slip away . . . . ??
About the funeral home: I too have found it a comfort to see the person after death. Might sound macabre, but does help to establish in my mind the realisation that the "person" (soul, if you like) has gone, and that only the body is left. However, when Dad died last year, the thought of any of us seeing him in the funeral home was upsetting to my Mum, so I didn't go.
It is such a personal decision . . . . whatever you decide will be right for you.
I keep asking myself why I did not want to see my untie last year when she pass away, yes I was scared because I had seen my father in the chapel of rest for 2 weeks every day as mum keep wanting to go. first person so close that I had seen dead that it put me of from seeing my untie, sure she would of understood as I do regret it now . But what can I do now it’s all done and dusted now I keep telling myself .
What ever you do , do what make you feel good is all I can say now