My sister has POA

[debz67]

My mother is in a care home and my sister has financial power of attorney over her. The other day I noticed my mothers wedding ring was missing. I mentioned it to the staff and they found it a couple of days later. They then gave the ring to my sister as staff say she is next of kin and is family whereas I am not. I am not happy about this as I assumed that staff would keep the ring in the office safe until my mother passed away. I am not allowed to view my mothers care plan and when my mother is unwell am the second point of contact after my sister.

I think the system is so unfair. I am not even allowed to take my own mother out of the care home without being accompanied by a member of staff who then go back and make false or exaggerated reports about my behaviour so I have long since abandoned taking my mother out as I cannot trust staff members.

Can anyone please offer me any advice as to what my rights are as daughter?

Many thanks

 

[nitram]

It is arguable that the financial power of attorney may have some relevance regarding the ring, it is officially a Property and Financial Affairs power.

You don't say whether or not your sister is allowed to see the care plan, unless your mother, when competent, has stated otherwise you both have equal rights.

Is your sister allowed to take your mother out of the home unaccompanied?

Realistically the care home has a list of contacts in case of problems, they work down this list and rely on the first successful contact to spread the information, does your sister contact you to pass on any phone messages?

 

[jaymor]

Welcome to the forum.

I think the first thing to sort out is why are the staff making false or inaccurate reports about you. My concern would be if they cannot report correctly about your visit are they reporting correctly about your Mother's care and welfare.

As to the not being able to see the care plan then have a word with your sister. I would imagine she has gone down as next of kin because she holds POA which means they deal with her re finances. I am first call for my husband with my daughter being second. Our son who lives a distance away is not because there would be no point and for no other reason? There is nothing legal about next of kin, mainly a contact arrangement. I am next of kin for a friend whose children are a distance away.

I see my husband's care plan as do our daughter and son.

Hopefully you can clear this up. It must be upsetting for you.

Take care

Jay

 

[Trisha4]

My mother is in a care home and my sister has financial power of attorney over her. The other day I noticed my mothers wedding ring was missing. I mentioned it to the staff and they found it a couple of days later. They then gave the ring to my sister as staff say she is next of kin and is family whereas I am not. I am not happy about this as I assumed that staff would keep the ring in the office safe until my mother passed away. I am not allowed to view my mothers care plan and when my mother is unwell am the second point of contact after my sister.

I think the system is so unfair. I am not even allowed to take my own mother out of the care home without being accompanied by a member of staff who then go back and make false or exaggerated reports about my behaviour so I have long since abandoned taking my mother out as I cannot trust staff members.

Can anyone please offer me any advice as to what my rights are as daughter?

Many thanks

Can you discuss this with your sister?

 

[debz67]

Thanks for the response.

My sister does get to see the care plan. Since my father's death last year, there is no relationship between my sister and I so therefore, I do not get contacted by her in an emergency. My sister also gets to take my mother out unattended even though I am DBS checked and my teenage sons hold First Aid Certificates. Basically the Home are following my fathers wishes that I do not take my mother out unattended and before his death, he confirmed this in writing. (He was also really confused and subsequently changed his will at the last minute)
On my last excursion with my mother and staff member, we went out for a meal and I had a glass of wine. The notes state that I got in the car and drunk drove as well as I allegedly walked my mother excessively!! Unbelievable and as a result, I do not trust any of the staff in the home.
It just concerns me that I have no rights over my mother or indeed her possessions.

 

[sistermillicent]

If you had a glass of wine and drove you are certainly leaving yourself open to allegations of drink driving.
I guess if your father left instructions that you are not to take your mother out unaccompanied then they should be sticking to that, this needs to be sorted out in the family, not with the care home.
As to having rights over your mother and her property, you probably don't if your sister holds power of attorney, and that does not give you rights, it gives you responsibilities.