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My sister has drained mum bank account

Xenacocobella

New member
Sep 5, 2020
4
0
My sister took mum to live with her in March. Due to Covid I was in Spain and couldn't get back.
We are 3 siblings all with LPA.
My sister cleared mums house with her partner without making a list of all she took.
We had agreed between the 3 siblings that part of my sisters house would be done to meet mums needs and my sister presented us with an estimate of 29,000 . I then found out that she had drained mums account and spent over 100,000. Without telling anyone.
My sister also gets 3,000 a month which is mums pension that was agreed by the 3 of us.
So my sister has drained. Mums bank account and now won't let me see mum. What do I do? Mum has Dementia.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,969
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Xenacocobella

I’m assuming that you have LPA “jointly and severally “ or your sister would not have been able to do anything independently. Have you spoken to your sister about the money? Are you certain the £100,000 has been spent and not moved to another account?

I think the first thing to to would be ask your sister where the money has gone. Sh obviously should not be spending her mother’s money on herself.
 

Xenacocobella

New member
Sep 5, 2020
4
0
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Xenacocobella

I’m assuming that you have LPA “jointly and severally “ or your sister would not have been able to do anything independently. Have you spoken to your sister about the money? Are you certain the £100,000 has been spent and not moved to another account?

I think the first thing to to would be ask your sister where the money has gone. Sh obviously should not be spending her mother’s money on herself.
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Xenacocobella

I’m assuming that you have LPA “jointly and severally “ or your sister would not have been able to do anything independently. Have you spoken to your sister about the money? Are you certain the £100,000 has been spent and not moved to another account?

I think the first thing to to would be ask your sister where the money has gone. Sh obviously should not be spending her mother’s money on herself.
Yes all three of us have LPA and she has said that the money was spent on doing her house up for mum but if that is so she should have told us she needed more money not empty the two bank accounts.
She is also took everything from mums house, she should have made a list.
My main problem is that she won't let me see mum.
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,356
0
Are you still in Spain, or in one of this countries Covid hotspots?
In which case, it is probably better that you don't visit.
Regarding the money, I feel contact with the OPG might be best at present.

Bod
 

Xenacocobella

New member
Sep 5, 2020
4
0
Are you still in Spain, or in one of this countries Covid hotspots?
In which case, it is probably better that you don't visit.
Regarding the money, I feel contact with the OPG might be best at present.

Bod
No I have just done 14 days Quarentine. Plus have to say I was not in a tourist area in Spain and in our area we had no cases.
I would never put my mum at risk. I am a nurse and because of her I haven't worked.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,166
0
North West
There are some serious issues here. The first is that your sister shouldn't be getting your mums pension money -whatever you have agreed as LPA's -this is not best interests if what you say is accurate. There needs to be a legitimate reason for your mum to pay your sister all of her pension.

You need to eloborate more on the facts as you have posted very limited information. I would ask your sister for all receipts where your mums money has be used for payment or transfers and to give reasons for them. If you are all LPA's and can act jointly and severly there is nothing to stop you from intervening and raising concerns directly.

With respect to the house contents you need to raise this directly with your sister and see if you are satisfied with her explanation as well as raising the matter of all of your mums funds. Its not easy, but the best approach is always a one-to-one conversation first and then decide on matters after that. I would also raise the issue of seeing your mum as LPA you need to know what is in her best interests in part by seeing and visiting her.
 

Xenacocobella

New member
Sep 5, 2020
4
0
There are some serious issues here. The first is that your sister shouldn't be getting your mums pension money -whatever you have agreed as LPA's -this is not best interests if what you say is accurate. There needs to be a legitimate reason for your mum to pay your sister all of her pension.

You need to eloborate more on the facts as you have posted very limited information. I would ask your sister for all receipts where your mums money has be used for payment or transfers and to give reasons for them. If you are all LPA's and can act jointly and severly there is nothing to stop you from intervening and raising concerns directly.

With respect to the house contents you need to raise this directly with your sister and see if you are satisfied with her explanation as well as raising the matter of all of your mums funds. Its not easy, but the best approach is always a one-to-one conversation first and then decide on matters after that. I would also raise the issue of seeing your mum as LPA you need to know what is in her best interests in part by seeing and visiting her.
My sister gets mums pension for looking after her. All mums expenses food etc comes out of it but big things like a new chair etc are separate.
We each have individual LPOA so yes she can work individually..
I am not happy about the house contents. I am happy that everything went to my sisters for safe keeping but I am not happy the way it was done. I was in lockdown in Spain at the time. I have a brother and I feel that the two of them should have done it together if they felt it couldn't wait till I came back and a list should have been made. My sister and her partner
decided what would be thrown and what would be kept and I don't feel that was right.
I have questioned my sister about the money spent and she said she had to change builders.
I also asked for invoices but she just gave me a computer print out.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,166
0
North West
You need to see the evidence of costs etc yourself so that you can decide whether spending on the build was appropriate. You also need to know when and where money was transferred from and to as an LPA. You need to see the actual bills for the work etc and not a constructed list of costs.

Yours mums pension also seems a bit vague. Thats more than most people earn on a salary per month unless you have mis-typed the figure?? That would have paid for a care home (give or take) and saved the cost of renovating your sisters house if £3000 pension is right, with the added benefit of long term care for a life limiting illness and keeping your mums main funds virually intact -which seemes more in line with best interests on the financial front.

Anyway I'm just posing thoughts for you. have you read the OPG guidance on acting as an LPA, you can find it here:
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
434
0
Have you discussed this with your brother, the third attorney? What is his opinion?
I would not get too upset about the house contents issue, unless there are items of special value like antiques they may be worth very little. You often have to pay to have house contents taken away. As you were abroad she had to make decisions about the contents. Far more of a concern is the way the pension is being used and this large investment in the house at a time when the house was presumably not required. Perhaps it was a sound investment that would allow the house to be rented out for higher rent or sold for much more. Or maybe, thinking suspiciously, it was intended to increase the value of someone's future inheritance?