My poor old long suffering dad

[Emmy_83]

Hi CG my heart goes out to you. I know what you mean with your mum and dad. My parents are the same. My mum is determined my father will never go into a care home and i do worry for the future...

My dad is in hospital at the moment and every time we leave him there are tears in his eyes - it is heartbreaking. He was admitted two weeks ago with a UTI but now the doctors say it has further affected his AS/VD and mobility. He has been declared medically fit but because they are still working with his mobility with a frame and have decided a best interests meeting is needed it looks like he'll be in there another week or two. He is frustrated and bored and just wants to come home. It really pulls at the heart strings to see him there begging us and the medical staff to come home

 

[FifiMo]

Glad you managed to have some quality time with your dad and I bet it did you both the world of good too. Sometimes I think that dementia subsumes everyone to the point that none of us can see the wood for the trees. It takes days like today for you to be able to steal back some "me" time and have that little reminder that other things are important too. I don't know about you, but I used to feel that just a few minutes like you had today can rejuvenate you so much, ready to battle on again with the dementia.

So happy for you and your dad and that you got to spend the time together.

Fiona

PS - my previous response was in fact a question for you - i was wondering if in your mind, things were at a stage where something needed to happen or if it was just that everyone had had a bad week, including your mum. LOL

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you lovely Grove, your messages always make me smile xxx

Sue - oh, daffodils, lovely! Yellow is my favourite colour; the colour of happiness . I'm glad you can smell them and enjoy them today. Perhaps tomorrow you will be a little less tired xxx

Hello, Emmy, and welcome to TP. I know just how you feel. I'm sorry your dad is in hospital and you have to leave him, this is heartbreaking and very worrying, I know. When my mam's been in hospital they haven't always understood her Alzheimer's and things can be difficult. I hope he can come home soon x

PS - Fiona, we cross posted! Thank you, our lovely "us" time was just so nice, talking about nice, normal things. The time flew and I do feel more content this evening knowing that dad feels better.

 

[Emmy_83]

Thanks CG. Yes i think the problem is that there are too many faces. Even i get confused! You get used to one nurse and then she disappears and another is on the ward... Fingers crossed this meeting will take place very soon and we can get all the equipment sorted for my parents's house and he can be back at home with my mum.

 

[FifiMo]

Emmy,

If it hasn't already been done, can I suggest that you speak to the Occupational Therapist at the hospital and ask that they do a home visit with your dad to see what can be done at home to help him get back there. Such a visit home can be a huge motivator for your dad too. The OT can see in the house where he might need some help and this can quickly be put in place so he can get home.

Best interests meetings are fine if there going to be decisions made such as going home vs going to a care home, but if your mum is determined your dad is going home with her then the focus needs to be on how quickly this can be expedited. In my experience, more damage can be done by keeping your dad there, than if he was allowed home where he wants to be. The sooner they are able to give your dad something to aim for the better he will recover too.

Fiona

 

[Emmy_83]

Thanks Fiona. The discharge manager said today that the OT etc are all due to visit the house soon but it depends on when they can fit us in with some teams being "slower than others"!! Also we have to wait for this meeting and again depends on "when all the med professionals can get together".

I agree - it is so frustrating for him to be there and he is miserable. My mother and i have tried to be calm with the staff in allowing them to do what they feel is in his best interests regarding his mobility.

 

[Emmy_83]

Today we were told that hopefully the meeting will be tomorrow and we can get my dad home in the next few days. Very good news indeed.

 

[CollegeGirl]

Emmy, I'm so sorry, I missed your last messages. I hope the meeting went well and that the ball is rolling for your dad to come home x