Dear mom and dad, happy anniversary. All of a sudden i was doing thiings and i remembered. I aolways sent you a letter. You loved my letters, but theres no address anymore. I have to send it from here now. Im glad youre together, but its still hard . Dad, i didnt miss you less. Mom was there. For 18 years, but im glad youre together. You always belonged together, even though it feels funny when you, dad , dont walk thru my door again sneaking my coffee you werent supposed to have. Youn thought you fooled mom. She had eyes in back of her head. Then we both got it. I hope the coffee is good where you are. You loved it. Mom, you were so smart. You knew everything about life. I just didnt see it then.i do now. Its a year, mom, that you left. I never understood why--a person like you who nobody can fool no matter how hard they trird. There was no dementia in your family. Why you? Why anyone? There was no dementia in your family. You had arthritis, but finally your back was fixed after a few operations. You were walking without a cane. Then this. In 11 months you were gone. Isnt life ironic--you went thru a few back operations, you had open heart valve surgery--you came thru. You even had hip surgery. You couldnt do this one. This one took 11 months and you left to be with dad. Im glad youre together, but you were the dr for my arthritis, you wrote the prescriptions and the drs signed them. Remember? They loved you. They told me you had guts. They admired you, but they were also sorry you left. I need another neck operation. Its no 3. My lower back is degenerated. I have sciattica like you.i lose my balance soimetimes and fall becaude you know it goes to the head , arms, and shoulders. I remember how you said to put heat on my back. I did. Its ok for a little while but something is better than nothing. Right? You always said--if it doesnt hurt, its ok. Hot water doesnt hurt., so its ok. I miss the phone calls. I miss youn not being here. I think i miss you more than what in have to go thru. I remember how you told me to forget everything about the 2nd neck operation when it was over. You said i will be better. I was for a few years, but you know arthritis. It really never goes. Its really bad now.you understand. You had it, where you are you have none of these problems. Youre at peace. Im glad, but i still see those empty chairs and its hard on some days. Im strong like you said. You were right. I didnt see what you saw, but do any of us see in us wht others see? You even told me im as smart as dad. Dad is a genius. I see im like him. If i dont know something, i read the book and i get it. I can do things i never thought i can do. I guess im a combination of both of you.i used to give him the things to do. Now i do it. I can. You were right.the other day a catalogue came. I threw it out because it reminded me of you mom. Itn was the last time you were here. You loved that store and bought me red blouse. You let me have it about my weight--you said i better gain 10 pounds. I said i have a models figure. You didnt agree. Im still thin. I cant gain weight. You know that, but you said the blouse looked beautiful on me anyway.i wear it. I remember. Im just not ready to go to that store yet.i do everything. I dont let the arthritis get me down. I just wish you were here now.you know whatb hardest--mothers day and fathers day. I have no one to buy cards for anymore. I used to write a letter on the cards. Now ill just write friom here. These people helped me a lot when you left. I couldnt have done it without them. I hope i help them too.i lit a candle on the anniverary of your death mom. I wont ever forget you guys. How can i--you had a big hand in making me who i am today.we didnt always agree, but we always knew the love was there. If it wasnt i wouldn be writng, would i?you 2 have all the aunts and uncles and grandparents. Youre not alone. You have the whole family. You were both so much for family.you even have some friends. Dad nmustb be wearing his sunglasses. Dont be too hard on him. He loves coffee. What can you do! I cant drink it anymore.n i have 2 bleeding ulcers. Im used to it now. I hope youre proud of me. I try. I remembe. I realize you 2 knew what you were talking about all the years i was growing up. I thought you knew nothing. Its funny--i teach my children the same things.you knew it all along. You just let me find out for myself. Happy anniversary mom and dad. Dont worry. Just rest in poeace. You both deserve it.dont only rest. Have fun too. All your favorite people are there. Dad, keep your sunglasses handy. Did mom stand up to god yet?
My parents anniversary--theyre together, but i cant see them --can i write here?
- Thread starter chana
- Start date
I have my music and reading-----i need to laugh too.---im so tired already
i wrote about my 3rd neck operation. its more complex than the other 2.im scared. im usually tough,. im still tough, but cant i be scared too?! i have no parents. my family is getting it now., but i like to write my thoughts down. its me.my hands hurt like hell from my neck, but i still write.my mother is gone a year now. my father is gone 19 years.the phones are quiet.my children are grown. my son is married. they have their lives.i cant burdn them with this. they know its an operation., but i didnt go into every detail. my husband is here for me now. he gets it. finally. inthink they all do finally. they see im not a doormat. i jhave the same education and i was in the process of writing a book in my mothers memory. i miss her so. i need her now. i miss the 1000times she called to wish me luck.i was an english teacher . i was somebody. now i cook, clean, do laundry---but i need this operation. ill do it. im just so worn out from thisn last year of hell. im so tired. it was like it never was, but it was.i have my memories, but im tired. im worn out.i listen to music. it gets me thru. i talk to my husband . it gets me thru. right now i dont want to see anyone. im too tired today. my husband undertands.i never thought he did, but he does. he really loves me. i told him im worn out. he says its ok and normal. hes here for me. i cant even see my children now. im glad thery didnt come. today. i love them, but i need to be alone today.i need to think and hear my music and read. i wish someone would make me laugh. i love to laugh and my crazy jokes come naturally, but today im tired. im just listening to my music and reading.i answer some blogs , but i wih someone could make me laugh.im so tired.my year of hell wore me out finally.
i wrote about my 3rd neck operation. its more complex than the other 2.im scared. im usually tough,. im still tough, but cant i be scared too?! i have no parents. my family is getting it now., but i like to write my thoughts down. its me.my hands hurt like hell from my neck, but i still write.my mother is gone a year now. my father is gone 19 years.the phones are quiet.my children are grown. my son is married. they have their lives.i cant burdn them with this. they know its an operation., but i didnt go into every detail. my husband is here for me now. he gets it. finally. inthink they all do finally. they see im not a doormat. i jhave the same education and i was in the process of writing a book in my mothers memory. i miss her so. i need her now. i miss the 1000times she called to wish me luck.i was an english teacher . i was somebody. now i cook, clean, do laundry---but i need this operation. ill do it. im just so worn out from thisn last year of hell. im so tired. it was like it never was, but it was.i have my memories, but im tired. im worn out.i listen to music. it gets me thru. i talk to my husband . it gets me thru. right now i dont want to see anyone. im too tired today. my husband undertands.i never thought he did, but he does. he really loves me. i told him im worn out. he says its ok and normal. hes here for me. i cant even see my children now. im glad thery didnt come. today. i love them, but i need to be alone today.i need to think and hear my music and read. i wish someone would make me laugh. i love to laugh and my crazy jokes come naturally, but today im tired. im just listening to my music and reading.i answer some blogs , but i wih someone could make me laugh.im so tired.my year of hell wore me out finally.
Helen33
Registered User
Dear Chana,
It is good to hear that your husband is there for you and that you know that he loves you. It is so hard for everyone when sickness is in the house. I am the one sick in this house but I feel so much for Martin because it affects his life too.
I'm glad you were able to listen to music and read today. It sounds like you need plenty of peace and rest.
Did you know that there is a joke's thread on Talking Point? Look in the tea room and you will see it there. Maybe those jokes would make you laugh
Love
It is good to hear that your husband is there for you and that you know that he loves you. It is so hard for everyone when sickness is in the house. I am the one sick in this house but I feel so much for Martin because it affects his life too.
I'm glad you were able to listen to music and read today. It sounds like you need plenty of peace and rest.
Did you know that there is a joke's thread on Talking Point? Look in the tea room and you will see it there. Maybe those jokes would make you laugh
Love
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The pink bathrobe that she wore whenever she came---im at it again
I have my mothers fighting spirit. I see that now. She was right about that in me. Whenever she came she was cold. I told her to tuen rhe heatn the way she wanted in her room. Shwe id, but she was always cold. Im thin and i have a small frame. I was putting the winter things away and i saw that pink bathrobe she loved to wear after her shower. I was at it again. I do what i have to do, but the bathrobe---i remember how she liked it so much and couldnt believe how cheap it was. Its the kind of bathrobe that comes in 1 size so everyone can wear it. I always set it up in her room for her.this winter i couldnt wear it yet. Next year i will. I think ill be ready.i cried for hrs. Over a bathrobe. My husband now i see does get it.he understands this operation is not like the others--its more complex ans hes scaered. So am i, to tell you the truth.i make light of things, but i sure could use my mother. She had arthritis . My husband doesnt. He undrstands what i have to go thru and he cries for me. I cry for me too.i jokingly told him --well if in die you go on. Id nrather it were me than you. He wasnt laughing. He was annoyed thsat i said it. He reminded me of my fighting spirit.and iff my mother heard me id get it good. Hes right. Im that that tired anymore. Im crying over a bathrobe. The memories hit all of a sudden when you dont expect them to and it starts up again. I have good memories. I didnt always agree with my mother. When i didnt i got it good. Then too. It makes me smile she had 1 answer and anything else was wrong.i once had the guts to tell her---dont you think you make mistakes too? She said she did. So i said maybe this is one of them. She said not this time. Ill let you know. I smile thru my tears when i think of that.i remember the bathrobe the last time she was here.i remember her telling me how it kept her warm. She loved it. She told me she loves me too. Shell never leave. She did. Its not her fault. Its the horror of this desease. In 11 months she was gone. She left my house and a few weeks later she has alzeimers and 11 months later is gone.i didnt know what hit me. 11 months. She was fine when she left. I dont understand what happened.i have so many questions and no answers.i think im more confused now than before i started to do research into this desease. I just dont get. She left. She was with her friends and in less than a year i lost her. Im going to read today and relax. Ill stop crying . Ill always miss my parents. Theres nothing wrong with that. I dont care if people dont like it. They were my parents. They played quite a role in my life. My husband finally gets it.he loves me. I know he does and i love him too. Hes there for me no matter what memories set me off. Otherwise im 1 tough lady like my mom. He told me so today.
I have my mothers fighting spirit. I see that now. She was right about that in me. Whenever she came she was cold. I told her to tuen rhe heatn the way she wanted in her room. Shwe id, but she was always cold. Im thin and i have a small frame. I was putting the winter things away and i saw that pink bathrobe she loved to wear after her shower. I was at it again. I do what i have to do, but the bathrobe---i remember how she liked it so much and couldnt believe how cheap it was. Its the kind of bathrobe that comes in 1 size so everyone can wear it. I always set it up in her room for her.this winter i couldnt wear it yet. Next year i will. I think ill be ready.i cried for hrs. Over a bathrobe. My husband now i see does get it.he understands this operation is not like the others--its more complex ans hes scaered. So am i, to tell you the truth.i make light of things, but i sure could use my mother. She had arthritis . My husband doesnt. He undrstands what i have to go thru and he cries for me. I cry for me too.i jokingly told him --well if in die you go on. Id nrather it were me than you. He wasnt laughing. He was annoyed thsat i said it. He reminded me of my fighting spirit.and iff my mother heard me id get it good. Hes right. Im that that tired anymore. Im crying over a bathrobe. The memories hit all of a sudden when you dont expect them to and it starts up again. I have good memories. I didnt always agree with my mother. When i didnt i got it good. Then too. It makes me smile she had 1 answer and anything else was wrong.i once had the guts to tell her---dont you think you make mistakes too? She said she did. So i said maybe this is one of them. She said not this time. Ill let you know. I smile thru my tears when i think of that.i remember the bathrobe the last time she was here.i remember her telling me how it kept her warm. She loved it. She told me she loves me too. Shell never leave. She did. Its not her fault. Its the horror of this desease. In 11 months she was gone. She left my house and a few weeks later she has alzeimers and 11 months later is gone.i didnt know what hit me. 11 months. She was fine when she left. I dont understand what happened.i have so many questions and no answers.i think im more confused now than before i started to do research into this desease. I just dont get. She left. She was with her friends and in less than a year i lost her. Im going to read today and relax. Ill stop crying . Ill always miss my parents. Theres nothing wrong with that. I dont care if people dont like it. They were my parents. They played quite a role in my life. My husband finally gets it.he loves me. I know he does and i love him too. Hes there for me no matter what memories set me off. Otherwise im 1 tough lady like my mom. He told me so today.
creativesarah
Registered User
I am so glad that you have an understanding husband who gets it! It helps so much to have someone who understands
It's often the small things that trigger memories, like a strawberry sweet in quality street always remind me of my lovely grandfather!
It's often the small things that trigger memories, like a strawberry sweet in quality street always remind me of my lovely grandfather!
I think of my mum everytime I hear a train starting off from a station. We used to love going to liverpool shopping on the train. Little things do set you off, just hope it gets easier.
Is it for real or is it just my imagination already?!
I picked up the mail and laundry. I was organizing my checks. ., so i see a picture of ma mother in a wheelchair. I was at it good. She had so many operqtions on her back because she didnt want to be in a wheelchair. And yet shes where she never wanted to be. This is not long before she died. I dont remember why i even took this picture. I never looked at it anyway. You can see how sick she was. Im not ready for this. I have my parents picture on my desk. When they were in italy at the trevi fountain--2 years before my father died from pancreatic and liver cancer.my mother always labeled a picture with a date. I have her writing. When i saw this picture it made me cry so bitterly. She was just here. She was fine. She went home and the next thing i know she has alzeimers and dies in 11 months. I didnt know what hit me. Its a year and i miss her still so much. I always will miss my parents. I miss my father too., but she was there for 18 years. After he died. It was easier. If you knew my mother---she was so smart and you couldnt fool her if you tried.i used to say she had eyes in back of her head. She knew everything., we thought we fooled her---me and my father, but we never did. I used to wonder how she knew, but she did. Theres no dementia in her family. What happened here? The more research i do the more i dont get it. She was fine. She had friends. 1 day it just happened. I see her healthy. She was a beautiful woman. Then shes in a wheelchair. I dont get it. I dont want the picture. Im throwing it out. I wantr to remember her how she was.why remember this! I dont want it.i want my memories in tact. I doint want to see her like this. She didnt deserve it. Nobody deserves this horror.this is not my mother. My mother had back operations so she wouldnt be in a wheelchair. Its not her really,, yet it is. I dont want it. Maybe im just not ready. The picture makes me cry so bitterly. She was so strong. All of a sudden--11 months--shes gone. We all grieve in our own way in our own time. I do everything . Im tough, but i cry too. So did she and you couldnt find a stronger lady than her. I dont care what anyone thinks. I need more time. My husband agrees and he cries for her too. He loved her. He was a son to her.
I picked up the mail and laundry. I was organizing my checks. ., so i see a picture of ma mother in a wheelchair. I was at it good. She had so many operqtions on her back because she didnt want to be in a wheelchair. And yet shes where she never wanted to be. This is not long before she died. I dont remember why i even took this picture. I never looked at it anyway. You can see how sick she was. Im not ready for this. I have my parents picture on my desk. When they were in italy at the trevi fountain--2 years before my father died from pancreatic and liver cancer.my mother always labeled a picture with a date. I have her writing. When i saw this picture it made me cry so bitterly. She was just here. She was fine. She went home and the next thing i know she has alzeimers and dies in 11 months. I didnt know what hit me. Its a year and i miss her still so much. I always will miss my parents. I miss my father too., but she was there for 18 years. After he died. It was easier. If you knew my mother---she was so smart and you couldnt fool her if you tried.i used to say she had eyes in back of her head. She knew everything., we thought we fooled her---me and my father, but we never did. I used to wonder how she knew, but she did. Theres no dementia in her family. What happened here? The more research i do the more i dont get it. She was fine. She had friends. 1 day it just happened. I see her healthy. She was a beautiful woman. Then shes in a wheelchair. I dont get it. I dont want the picture. Im throwing it out. I wantr to remember her how she was.why remember this! I dont want it.i want my memories in tact. I doint want to see her like this. She didnt deserve it. Nobody deserves this horror.this is not my mother. My mother had back operations so she wouldnt be in a wheelchair. Its not her really,, yet it is. I dont want it. Maybe im just not ready. The picture makes me cry so bitterly. She was so strong. All of a sudden--11 months--shes gone. We all grieve in our own way in our own time. I do everything . Im tough, but i cry too. So did she and you couldnt find a stronger lady than her. I dont care what anyone thinks. I need more time. My husband agrees and he cries for her too. He loved her. He was a son to her.
grief
Dear Chana
that is a really sad story - a year is not a long time and you are still finding it difficult. Thanks for sharing your paina nd I hope having a forum here will help you to know you ar e not alone in this. I would maybe not throw away pictures just yet, instead why not put the ones that hurt away in a box and hide them for a while. We are all made up of the things that happen to us good and bad and that was your mum too in those days, its just too raw for you now so try not to think of it until you are ready. Take some time with your partner to remember the good days - it sounds as if youu were a lucky person to have such a wonderful mum and that is worth remembering
Dear Chana
that is a really sad story - a year is not a long time and you are still finding it difficult. Thanks for sharing your paina nd I hope having a forum here will help you to know you ar e not alone in this. I would maybe not throw away pictures just yet, instead why not put the ones that hurt away in a box and hide them for a while. We are all made up of the things that happen to us good and bad and that was your mum too in those days, its just too raw for you now so try not to think of it until you are ready. Take some time with your partner to remember the good days - it sounds as if youu were a lucky person to have such a wonderful mum and that is worth remembering
winda
Registered User
Dear Chana,
You are still grieving and a year is not long at all. It took longer than a year before I could even talk about my mum and dad, after I lost them, without breaking down. But with time it has become easier although the sadness never really goes.
It helped, of course, that I had my husband to help me through it and I was also working so I was busy which was good for me.
Regarding photos, I would take Anthea's advice and simply put away those which upset you so much. With time you may find that you are glad to have even those which show your mum when she was unwell, or at least your decision to throw them away will be less emotional.
I am sure that what you are feeling is normal, unless because of it you are unable to get any enjoyment from anything any more. If this is the case it would be a good thing to visit your GP to have a chat with him/her.
Otherwise, you are lucky to have such a supportive husband and I hope that with time things will get easier for you.
You are still grieving and a year is not long at all. It took longer than a year before I could even talk about my mum and dad, after I lost them, without breaking down. But with time it has become easier although the sadness never really goes.
It helped, of course, that I had my husband to help me through it and I was also working so I was busy which was good for me.
Regarding photos, I would take Anthea's advice and simply put away those which upset you so much. With time you may find that you are glad to have even those which show your mum when she was unwell, or at least your decision to throw them away will be less emotional.
I am sure that what you are feeling is normal, unless because of it you are unable to get any enjoyment from anything any more. If this is the case it would be a good thing to visit your GP to have a chat with him/her.
Otherwise, you are lucky to have such a supportive husband and I hope that with time things will get easier for you.
grobertson62
Registered User
Hi Chana
Just to let you know am thinking of you
Sending you a hug
Gill
Just to let you know am thinking of you
Sending you a hug
Gill
My memories---theyre good ones, but im so tired from the year i had--i need to be me
my mother died 1 year ago from alzeimers. my father died from pancreatic and liver cancer 19 years ago. sure ill always miss my parents. i know that. i know a year isnt enough. i wont throw anything out.î have a good family, but they just dont get it. i inheritted my mothers arthritis and i need a 3rd neck operation. this one is a big one. sure i wish my mother were here. shes not. im tired of everyone expecting me to do everything when they want it.i thought they were better. that was for 2 days. because of my neck i have no feeling in my hands and my dr told me i must to it in order to get the strength back. my lower back went at the same time, but that cant be done now. i have sciaticca. i wont live on pain pills im exactly like my mother. im tough and i do things. i still am me.my husband tells me to rest. i wont. i live. im like my mother. she lived too. she saw that strength in me. what gets to me is nobody says HEY HOW DO YOU FEEL? I GET A LIST OF THINGS TO DO. my son is married. i know he loves me, but just to say MOM , HOW ARE YOU? i tried telling him . he got mad because he said i dont understand love. i let him have it good. he apologized.my daughter is the same.even my husband who was a son to my mother and loved her expects too muich of me. i get lists of what i have to do . im tired. i want to read. he buys roses and thinks it makes up for this. it really doesnt, even though the roses are beautiful and they are my favorite flower.i was somebody one time. im as educated as the whole lot of them. i have to be their secretary, make phone calls, cook--its endless. right now im thinking of my operation. i cant do everything. i dont want to.these are things they can do themselves. why cant the say WHAT DO YOUN NEED TO ME? never.i tried retiring from my work. for them. i got angry. they come around when they need me to do their secretarial work. i have a folder for the lot of them. under other circumstances i wouldnt care. now i do. my mother isnt here to wish me luck 1000 times like she used to. my son never asks about my surgery. hes ok, butt its all about him. hes married and no one else ever was.no one understands love. he does. my daughter isnt married, but its always something. i have a big operation to do and i know my husband will be there for me. he always is, but my children never even talk about it. if i talk about it, its like nothing to them. they listen and change the subject.i love them . i have a smart friend. she tells^me WITH ALL YOUR EDUCATION YOU HAVE NO BRAINS. HAVING CHILDREN IS THE MOST THANKLESS JOB THERE IS. THERES NO PAYCHECK, NO SOCIAL SECURITY--COMPLAINTS AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO ITS NOT APPRECIATED. I LOVE MY CHILDRENT TOO, BUT YOU ARE REALLY LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH A LOT. YOU LOVE THEM TOO MUCH. she told me IF YOU SERIOUSLY SET RULES THIS WOULD END, BUT I KNOW YOU. YOU DID THIS. YOU ALLOWED IT. NOW YOU NEED SOMEONE FOR YOU--WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?YOU WILL GET ANGRY AND DO IT ANYWAY. YOU DONT HAVE IT IN YOU TO SAY NO. YOU NEED SURGERY. YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER TO A HORRENDOUS DESEASE IN 11 MONTHS. YOU ALLOW IT. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? shes right. she knows me well.i need exactly what shes telling me.were good friends.she let me have it. shes right. she told me YOU LET THEM GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING. SAYING NO DOESNT MEAN YOU LOVE THEM LESS. SOMETIMES IT MAKES THEM LEARN AND IT SHOWS MORE. YOU WONT BE AROUND FOREVER, LIKE YOUR PARENTS ARENT. YOU DO OK. SO YOU CRY ONCE IN AWHILE. WE ALL DO.i know shes right.she told me WERE BEST FRIENDS. ILL TELL YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. i told her YOURE RIGHT. NEXT TIME ILL LET YOU HAVE IT. she told me COMING FROM YOU YOU MEAN IT. YOU WERE A WONDERFUL TEACHER. EVERYONE LOVED YOU. i said IT FEELS LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED, BUT I KNOW IT DID. i just need to be me for awhile and not have my desk piled up with everyones work.i need to have my family understand im going from losing my mother to an operation. im somebody too. they were ok for 2 das. now its right back. my friend is right. weve known each other a long time. she always told me im too easy. shes my best friend. she knows me like a book.
my mother died 1 year ago from alzeimers. my father died from pancreatic and liver cancer 19 years ago. sure ill always miss my parents. i know that. i know a year isnt enough. i wont throw anything out.î have a good family, but they just dont get it. i inheritted my mothers arthritis and i need a 3rd neck operation. this one is a big one. sure i wish my mother were here. shes not. im tired of everyone expecting me to do everything when they want it.i thought they were better. that was for 2 days. because of my neck i have no feeling in my hands and my dr told me i must to it in order to get the strength back. my lower back went at the same time, but that cant be done now. i have sciaticca. i wont live on pain pills im exactly like my mother. im tough and i do things. i still am me.my husband tells me to rest. i wont. i live. im like my mother. she lived too. she saw that strength in me. what gets to me is nobody says HEY HOW DO YOU FEEL? I GET A LIST OF THINGS TO DO. my son is married. i know he loves me, but just to say MOM , HOW ARE YOU? i tried telling him . he got mad because he said i dont understand love. i let him have it good. he apologized.my daughter is the same.even my husband who was a son to my mother and loved her expects too muich of me. i get lists of what i have to do . im tired. i want to read. he buys roses and thinks it makes up for this. it really doesnt, even though the roses are beautiful and they are my favorite flower.i was somebody one time. im as educated as the whole lot of them. i have to be their secretary, make phone calls, cook--its endless. right now im thinking of my operation. i cant do everything. i dont want to.these are things they can do themselves. why cant the say WHAT DO YOUN NEED TO ME? never.i tried retiring from my work. for them. i got angry. they come around when they need me to do their secretarial work. i have a folder for the lot of them. under other circumstances i wouldnt care. now i do. my mother isnt here to wish me luck 1000 times like she used to. my son never asks about my surgery. hes ok, butt its all about him. hes married and no one else ever was.no one understands love. he does. my daughter isnt married, but its always something. i have a big operation to do and i know my husband will be there for me. he always is, but my children never even talk about it. if i talk about it, its like nothing to them. they listen and change the subject.i love them . i have a smart friend. she tells^me WITH ALL YOUR EDUCATION YOU HAVE NO BRAINS. HAVING CHILDREN IS THE MOST THANKLESS JOB THERE IS. THERES NO PAYCHECK, NO SOCIAL SECURITY--COMPLAINTS AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO ITS NOT APPRECIATED. I LOVE MY CHILDRENT TOO, BUT YOU ARE REALLY LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH A LOT. YOU LOVE THEM TOO MUCH. she told me IF YOU SERIOUSLY SET RULES THIS WOULD END, BUT I KNOW YOU. YOU DID THIS. YOU ALLOWED IT. NOW YOU NEED SOMEONE FOR YOU--WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?YOU WILL GET ANGRY AND DO IT ANYWAY. YOU DONT HAVE IT IN YOU TO SAY NO. YOU NEED SURGERY. YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER TO A HORRENDOUS DESEASE IN 11 MONTHS. YOU ALLOW IT. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? shes right. she knows me well.i need exactly what shes telling me.were good friends.she let me have it. shes right. she told me YOU LET THEM GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING. SAYING NO DOESNT MEAN YOU LOVE THEM LESS. SOMETIMES IT MAKES THEM LEARN AND IT SHOWS MORE. YOU WONT BE AROUND FOREVER, LIKE YOUR PARENTS ARENT. YOU DO OK. SO YOU CRY ONCE IN AWHILE. WE ALL DO.i know shes right.she told me WERE BEST FRIENDS. ILL TELL YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. i told her YOURE RIGHT. NEXT TIME ILL LET YOU HAVE IT. she told me COMING FROM YOU YOU MEAN IT. YOU WERE A WONDERFUL TEACHER. EVERYONE LOVED YOU. i said IT FEELS LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED, BUT I KNOW IT DID. i just need to be me for awhile and not have my desk piled up with everyones work.i need to have my family understand im going from losing my mother to an operation. im somebody too. they were ok for 2 das. now its right back. my friend is right. weve known each other a long time. she always told me im too easy. shes my best friend. she knows me like a book.
Helen33
Registered User
Dear Chana,
How wonderful to have such a good friend. I believe she is right. You can't change anyone else, you can only change yourself The question that came to my mind was "are you going to listen to your friend and act upon it?" or "are you going to be like your children and listen but not make any change?"
Did you know that you can reply on this thread rather than PM? By replying on this thread other people can learn from what you have to say?
Wishing you luck Chana as your mother used to say.
How wonderful to have such a good friend. I believe she is right. You can't change anyone else, you can only change yourself
The question that came to my mind was "are you going to listen to your friend and act upon it?" or "are you going to be like your children and listen but not make any change?" Did you know that you can reply on this thread rather than PM? By replying on this thread other people can learn from what you have to say?
Wishing you luck Chana as your mother used to say.
Why cant i get appreciation? --this group is lucky my mother isnt here. Im too easy
i write when i have to get something out of my system. i love to write anyway. i just spent 3 hrs filling out impt forms for my husband. they were quite involved. he could never do it. he was only an engineer. i am like my father. my mother was so smart. she saw spirit and smartness in me. again how right she was! i never saw it. i do now.i had to ask him questions. he doesnt know. i told him--give me everything. ill figure it out. i did my best. i worked 3 hrs.he has to make copies of a few forms. hes complaining. i asked him to make 1 phone call on fri. this has to do with the forms. im tired. i was reading and im worn out. he says hes busy. he may not get up in time. i told him then to take his papers and throw them out. im thru. i spent 3 hrs. he wants to see what i wrote. i said NO.. i told him CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY IN DID 3 HRS OF WORK WHEN IM SO DIZZY FROM MY NECK. I HAVE A BLACK EYE WHEN I HIT THE FLOOR AND BANGED BOTH HIPS. IM SO SICK OF THIS. YOU HAVE 1 CALL TO MAKE FRI. YOU DONT DO IT, SO BE IT.I WONT. I WOULDNT HAVE DONE THIS, BUT ITS COMPLICATED AND I KNOW YOU COULDNT DO IT. NONE OF THIS GROUP COULD HAVE. I WENT OVER ALL THE PAPERS AND FIGURED IT OUT LIKE I ALWAYS DO. IF IT WERE EASY I WOULDNT HAVE, BUT ITS COMPLEX. WHAT WAS MY FEE? IM TAKING MY FRIENDS ADVICE. when theres arthritis in the neck, it goes down both arms and the head. i laughed and said IM DIZZY FROM THIS, YET I CAN DO IT.I HAVE MY BLACK EYE AND 2 BANGED UP HIPS NOBODY CARES ABOUT, BUT WITHOUT ME NONE OF YOU COULD GET BY AND YOU KNOW IT. NOW IM GOING TO READ AND IN DONT WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE WHO CALLS. IM TIRED.IM NOT APPRECIATED AT ALL. he said he appreciates what i did.i told him ROSES WONT CUT IT THIS TIME. THE 3 OF YOU ARE 1 OF A KIND. WHEN I SEE DIFFERENTLY ILL SAY.
i write when i have to get something out of my system. i love to write anyway. i just spent 3 hrs filling out impt forms for my husband. they were quite involved. he could never do it. he was only an engineer. i am like my father. my mother was so smart. she saw spirit and smartness in me. again how right she was! i never saw it. i do now.i had to ask him questions. he doesnt know. i told him--give me everything. ill figure it out. i did my best. i worked 3 hrs.he has to make copies of a few forms. hes complaining. i asked him to make 1 phone call on fri. this has to do with the forms. im tired. i was reading and im worn out. he says hes busy. he may not get up in time. i told him then to take his papers and throw them out. im thru. i spent 3 hrs. he wants to see what i wrote. i said NO.. i told him CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY IN DID 3 HRS OF WORK WHEN IM SO DIZZY FROM MY NECK. I HAVE A BLACK EYE WHEN I HIT THE FLOOR AND BANGED BOTH HIPS. IM SO SICK OF THIS. YOU HAVE 1 CALL TO MAKE FRI. YOU DONT DO IT, SO BE IT.I WONT. I WOULDNT HAVE DONE THIS, BUT ITS COMPLICATED AND I KNOW YOU COULDNT DO IT. NONE OF THIS GROUP COULD HAVE. I WENT OVER ALL THE PAPERS AND FIGURED IT OUT LIKE I ALWAYS DO. IF IT WERE EASY I WOULDNT HAVE, BUT ITS COMPLEX. WHAT WAS MY FEE? IM TAKING MY FRIENDS ADVICE. when theres arthritis in the neck, it goes down both arms and the head. i laughed and said IM DIZZY FROM THIS, YET I CAN DO IT.I HAVE MY BLACK EYE AND 2 BANGED UP HIPS NOBODY CARES ABOUT, BUT WITHOUT ME NONE OF YOU COULD GET BY AND YOU KNOW IT. NOW IM GOING TO READ AND IN DONT WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE WHO CALLS. IM TIRED.IM NOT APPRECIATED AT ALL. he said he appreciates what i did.i told him ROSES WONT CUT IT THIS TIME. THE 3 OF YOU ARE 1 OF A KIND. WHEN I SEE DIFFERENTLY ILL SAY.
Right now i feel broken and unloved
I used to give my parents a hard time as a teenager. My mother always told me--1 day youll have children of your own. I didnt think she knew or my father knew anything. I didnt listen. I ran wild, as my father put it. I threw my husband out more times than i can count. He had pity for anyone getting involved with me. Now i see what she meant. I am so angry at my children. I love them., but i finally finally realize(i said it 2 times purposely)what my best friend was saying. Its a thankless job. I did too much . I really did and when she told me i have no brains even though i have an education, i see she was right.i have no brains. I did too much and accepted anything thrown at me. Its a year since i lost my mother. I have no parents. And ive written how i need surgery in my neck --no 3.when the arthritis is this advanced, it goes down the arms , shoulder, and into the head. I fell a few days ago. I lost my balance. I hit my head on the floor and i have a black eye and 2 banged up hips. My husband is here for me. I see that.my children didnt even ask how i was doing. They only say for my husband to send them a text after the surgery. I dont want nhim sending anything.,i have done so much for them. If they need something i run in the snow and ice to wire money or just do what they need. Now i need them. Where are they? When my son got married he asked me for the money he needed. He said he doesnt have enough. My friend called me a jackass( can i say that)? Its true. I ran and wired everything.. My husband usually doesnt say anything, but now hes talking.im crying. This is a big operation. They want a text. No way. Not a word. From them. I feel unloved. My husband said the same as my friend, but he didnt use her words. He knows better. Only she can talk to me that way. I was going to wire money toward my sons student loan today. I do it every month. This time im not. He agrees. My friend told me im getting what i deserve. Its a thankless job, but you dont spoil children like you did.my friend told me all these years i had no brains. She even told me shes ashamed of calling me her friend since im so stupid. Like i said --only she can talk to me this way. I love her too.intalk to her the same, but shes smarter than me. She loves her children like i do, but doesnt do what i do. My daughter also takes me for granted. Theyre 2 of a kind.my friend told me i better find some brains or this is nothing compared to what ill get.i do nothing for them now. I need a big surgery. My mother isnt here. It would have been nice at least to have my children. I know they love me, but ive had it with their business of me, myself, and i. Theyre here when i have to do something.my husband said to fet it . We have each other. Its true and i love my best friend. Only shes allowed to talk to me like she does. She says it like it is.she always tells me if i dont like like it tough. I told her she has a heart of gold. She doesnt fool me. She said only for me.shes here too. I wont send a text. Thats like nothing. Its so unpersonal and theyre my children. I love them so much. I ran in the winter on snow and ice. For them. I do everything for them.now i found my brains. My friend warned me if i go back to being the jackass i was( i really hope its ok because only she can talk to me like this) shes thru. I laughed and told her shed never leave me. We know each other too long. She actually laughed with me . She told me i was a wonderful mother, but i have to set limits. My mother and father spoiled my children too and my mother has the nerve to tell me to set limits. I told her--look at you. She said those were grandparent rights. As a mother you are going over the line. I gues now its nthe reason i feel unloved by them. Even though i know they love me.
I used to give my parents a hard time as a teenager. My mother always told me--1 day youll have children of your own. I didnt think she knew or my father knew anything. I didnt listen. I ran wild, as my father put it. I threw my husband out more times than i can count. He had pity for anyone getting involved with me. Now i see what she meant. I am so angry at my children. I love them., but i finally finally realize(i said it 2 times purposely)what my best friend was saying. Its a thankless job. I did too much . I really did and when she told me i have no brains even though i have an education, i see she was right.i have no brains. I did too much and accepted anything thrown at me. Its a year since i lost my mother. I have no parents. And ive written how i need surgery in my neck --no 3.when the arthritis is this advanced, it goes down the arms , shoulder, and into the head. I fell a few days ago. I lost my balance. I hit my head on the floor and i have a black eye and 2 banged up hips. My husband is here for me. I see that.my children didnt even ask how i was doing. They only say for my husband to send them a text after the surgery. I dont want nhim sending anything.,i have done so much for them. If they need something i run in the snow and ice to wire money or just do what they need. Now i need them. Where are they? When my son got married he asked me for the money he needed. He said he doesnt have enough. My friend called me a jackass( can i say that)? Its true. I ran and wired everything.. My husband usually doesnt say anything, but now hes talking.im crying. This is a big operation. They want a text. No way. Not a word. From them. I feel unloved. My husband said the same as my friend, but he didnt use her words. He knows better. Only she can talk to me that way. I was going to wire money toward my sons student loan today. I do it every month. This time im not. He agrees. My friend told me im getting what i deserve. Its a thankless job, but you dont spoil children like you did.my friend told me all these years i had no brains. She even told me shes ashamed of calling me her friend since im so stupid. Like i said --only she can talk to me this way. I love her too.intalk to her the same, but shes smarter than me. She loves her children like i do, but doesnt do what i do. My daughter also takes me for granted. Theyre 2 of a kind.my friend told me i better find some brains or this is nothing compared to what ill get.i do nothing for them now. I need a big surgery. My mother isnt here. It would have been nice at least to have my children. I know they love me, but ive had it with their business of me, myself, and i. Theyre here when i have to do something.my husband said to fet it . We have each other. Its true and i love my best friend. Only shes allowed to talk to me like she does. She says it like it is.she always tells me if i dont like like it tough. I told her she has a heart of gold. She doesnt fool me. She said only for me.shes here too. I wont send a text. Thats like nothing. Its so unpersonal and theyre my children. I love them so much. I ran in the winter on snow and ice. For them. I do everything for them.now i found my brains. My friend warned me if i go back to being the jackass i was( i really hope its ok because only she can talk to me like this) shes thru. I laughed and told her shed never leave me. We know each other too long. She actually laughed with me . She told me i was a wonderful mother, but i have to set limits. My mother and father spoiled my children too and my mother has the nerve to tell me to set limits. I told her--look at you. She said those were grandparent rights. As a mother you are going over the line. I gues now its nthe reason i feel unloved by them. Even though i know they love me.
Im really so angry-!!!!!!!!!!!!___if i dont scream i dont know anymore......!!!!!!!!!
I was fine today. I decided im taking a step back with my children. I cant be so many people at 1 time. Im only me. I need surgery. I just want to be left alone.i did 3 hrs of work for my son yesterday. Now im reading and my husband cant find a simple address. He was an engineer. Cant he look it up in the phone book himself? I had to write down what he has to find. He has to find an address and phone no. Is that so difficult? I did all the paperwork. It took weeks to do it. I made calls. I did everything. I never did work like this before. I used to give it to my father to do. My mother told me i have her fighting spirit and my fathers brains. I see she was right. Everyone throws their work at me. I teach myself. So far im doing ok. If i left it to them i hate to think where wed be. I spend hrs, days, weeks, and i can earn a fortune of money for the work i do. I work for nothing and all i get is criticized. They have to see what i write. I told them--you sign where i say and i dont want to hear a word. For my fee im entitled to a thank you at least.if something happens to me im afraid of what will happen to this lot. Right now i got criticized againi wrote the name of the place on too small a piece of paper. Im quiet because if i say anything ill explode.i have folders for everyone. They just throw the papers down like im a machine. Like i said i never did this kind of work before. I was a teacher.ill say this--my mother was 1 smart lady---she was right---i have her spirit and my fathers brains.i teach myself everything. I was criticized because i dont like manuels. I teach myself my way. I see the material and what has to be done. I got criticized for that too. I said i seem to be getting it right . If they can do better let them take over. Im not earning a penny.if i get angry they have the nerve to tell me to apologize. Im quiet. Now. Im still waiting for an address and phone no. Ill have to do it, i need the times the place is open. Is that so difficult? The guy was an engineer. My son was suppoosed to make 1 phone call. He had the no. I did 3 hrs of work. I guarantee he didnt do it and ill end up doing it. Im not saying 1 word yet. If i do, theyll hear it in the next country. My mother is smiling and my father is putting on his sunglasses. That scene makes me smile. Its all thats making me smile.
I was fine today. I decided im taking a step back with my children. I cant be so many people at 1 time. Im only me. I need surgery. I just want to be left alone.i did 3 hrs of work for my son yesterday. Now im reading and my husband cant find a simple address. He was an engineer. Cant he look it up in the phone book himself? I had to write down what he has to find. He has to find an address and phone no. Is that so difficult? I did all the paperwork. It took weeks to do it. I made calls. I did everything. I never did work like this before. I used to give it to my father to do. My mother told me i have her fighting spirit and my fathers brains. I see she was right. Everyone throws their work at me. I teach myself. So far im doing ok. If i left it to them i hate to think where wed be. I spend hrs, days, weeks, and i can earn a fortune of money for the work i do. I work for nothing and all i get is criticized. They have to see what i write. I told them--you sign where i say and i dont want to hear a word. For my fee im entitled to a thank you at least.if something happens to me im afraid of what will happen to this lot. Right now i got criticized againi wrote the name of the place on too small a piece of paper. Im quiet because if i say anything ill explode.i have folders for everyone. They just throw the papers down like im a machine. Like i said i never did this kind of work before. I was a teacher.ill say this--my mother was 1 smart lady---she was right---i have her spirit and my fathers brains.i teach myself everything. I was criticized because i dont like manuels. I teach myself my way. I see the material and what has to be done. I got criticized for that too. I said i seem to be getting it right . If they can do better let them take over. Im not earning a penny.if i get angry they have the nerve to tell me to apologize. Im quiet. Now. Im still waiting for an address and phone no. Ill have to do it, i need the times the place is open. Is that so difficult? The guy was an engineer. My son was suppoosed to make 1 phone call. He had the no. I did 3 hrs of work. I guarantee he didnt do it and ill end up doing it. Im not saying 1 word yet. If i do, theyll hear it in the next country. My mother is smiling and my father is putting on his sunglasses. That scene makes me smile. Its all thats making me smile.
Can i continue screaming!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the time my husband got the address and phone no the office closed. I asked him to just write the no down. With the address. I did all the paperwork. You can do that much! I told him you have to call early in the morning. Its a govt office. I said to call at 8.am. He said its too early for him.im up anyway. I finally exploded.he has no idea why im angry. Now i see where those children get their genes from.he said i should call. He has to sleep. He walks every nite. He has a heart condition. He does. Ill have one too if this continues.i cant do all this anymore.he was an engineer. I called him an idiot. He didnt answer me because he knew better. I told him i did the work for months. He cant do 1 thing. I guarantee my son didnt make the call either.he said im better at this. I said when i die from a heart attack , then what will you all do? He knows when not to say a word. Was my mother right! I have her spirit and my fathers brains. Too bad nobody else here has it.i am smiling at the look that would be on my mothers face. And my father in his sunglasses.
By the time my husband got the address and phone no the office closed. I asked him to just write the no down. With the address. I did all the paperwork. You can do that much! I told him you have to call early in the morning. Its a govt office. I said to call at 8.am. He said its too early for him.im up anyway. I finally exploded.he has no idea why im angry. Now i see where those children get their genes from.he said i should call. He has to sleep. He walks every nite. He has a heart condition. He does. Ill have one too if this continues.i cant do all this anymore.he was an engineer. I called him an idiot. He didnt answer me because he knew better. I told him i did the work for months. He cant do 1 thing. I guarantee my son didnt make the call either.he said im better at this. I said when i die from a heart attack , then what will you all do? He knows when not to say a word. Was my mother right! I have her spirit and my fathers brains. Too bad nobody else here has it.i am smiling at the look that would be on my mothers face. And my father in his sunglasses.
