It is months since I posted on this thread but wanted to share a real change in the way I feel.
It is over 2 years since Gordon died and although on the surface have looked as if I was coping, inside I have not.
Over the months I have been scattering his ashes on various walks where we lived as this was a sort of promise we made to each other.
I recently went back to where I was living when I met Gordon, Nairn in the Highlands of Scotland. I left it 30 years ago and we never returned together.
Anyway I took the last of his ashes and did the "two bridges walk " round the river Nairn which I walked every day when I lived there and Gordon joined me when he visited. I scattered the remains round a bench where he proposed and also along the path.
When I Got back to hotel I realised I felt "complete" that is the only word I can feel is right.
I realised too that Nairn is where I want to live for the time left to me and today started the ball rolling to sell up!
I have a son who lives near wth three wee ones who I spent time with while I was there, and met up with an old friend too, so it is all systems go.
I feel newly energised, and just so full f expectation.