1. karenbrizzle

    karenbrizzle New member

    Nov 7, 2019
    My Nan has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia after having tests and a ct scan.she is 86yrs old and the proudest cleanest caring lady I no.she doesn’t quite understand what the drs have told her though and we’re struggling as a family as to how much do we talk to her about it as we don’t want her upset or angry.shes still very independent as in she baths daily does all her housework etc even though we help she’s very independent. We all take turns daily to do her a cooked meal as one of the first signs we noticed was she stopped cooking for herself.we no it will become worse and she will need more help but if she thought we would have to wash her etc she would be totally mortified.this is all very recent for me and my family and don’t no what to think at the minute
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    N Ireland
    Hello @karenbrizzle you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there



    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc. There is also a dementia guide.

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
  3. Petunia59

    Petunia59 Registered User

    Oct 11, 2019
    Hi karenbrizzle,
    My Mum used to be horrified at the thought of others doing personal stuff like washing/showering but when I realised she wasn't using the shower and it was taking half the morning for her to get washed and dressed, I got a carer to come every morning. Luckily, she's had the same carer almost every morning for over 2 years now and says she doesn't know how she'd manage without her. I think Mum would be less happy with a family member doing it.
    Although you always want to keep to their wishes, there comes a time when you just have to go ahead and do what you know is best for them.
  4. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    Welcome to DTP @karenbrizzle.
    It is a hard thing to come to terms with, but so long as your nan is still fairly independent you have to time to sort out care later. My partner had vascular dementia for about two years before we had to bring in outside carers. She doesn't like the idea of having dementia, so I don't mention it and explain any problems as being caused by a stroke she had a year before diagnosis.
    Contact her local authority social services and ask for a care needs assessment for your nan and a carers assessment for yourself to find out what support is available.
    http://carers.org will take you to your nearest carers support centre, the one in Bristol runs good dementia carers groups and free courses.
  5. karenbrizzle

    karenbrizzle New member

    Nov 7, 2019
    Thankyou petunia.thats good to no.my nan is very old school and so very proud and we no one day she will need lots more help and it’s good to hear positive stories from others who are going threw or been threw what we are going threw now
  6. Banjomansmate

    Banjomansmate Registered User

    Jan 13, 2019
    Obtaining Lasting Powers of Attorney for Finance and Health and Welfare are a good place to start while Nan has the Mental capacity to donate them, then if she should deteriorate rapidly your family are ready to take control.

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