My nan has been diagnosed with alcohol infused dementia

[Haysmills]

Long post...... Background story

My Nan has been an independent woman for as long as I can remember. And always enjoyed a little drink She was with a kind and gentle man for a 15 years. About 7 years ago h suddenly passed away. My nan then started to drink more. I may sound horrible when I say this but she started turning nasty (verbally) towards the family. She used to call me which I was happy about but once I said hello she said that she was meant to be calling someone else I haven't spoken to her since last Christmas because she didn't want to make anytime for me ( well that's what I thought)
Earlier on this year she had a Nasty fall which she doesn't remember. After a number of tests she was told that she is an alcoholic and has alcohol infused dementia. She has a number of infections on her liver and has been given 3 different vitamin tablets. She forgets to take them. My Uncle is trying to get power of attorney because she refuses to go into a home. I live 78 miles away and don't know what to do. Her short term memory has totally gone,she doesn't look after herself anymore. Her doctor has basically said I am not going to tell you to stop drinking because it will probably kill you but I would suggest to have one glass of wine a night. She gets one of her neighbours to buy her whiskey as well and hides it's.

I suppose the reason for this post is okay have dealt with other illnesses in my family but never this so I would like some support I suppose.
We have been told that if she has another fall and bleeds that she will end up in hospital and probably not come out. If you were me would you go and see her? I know she won't remember or would you wait till she was possibly in a home as it will be safer for everyone?

I'm so confused and don't know how to deal with any of this.

Thankyou for reading

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to DTP @Haysmills

Alcohol does horrible things to people and the nicest people can turn nasty under the influence. I also think it is very very difficult to help an alcoholic. If she's got to the stage where stopping drinking is a problem I can understand how difficult it will be to deal with her addiction.

If you were very close to your nan maybe you should go to see her, but be prepared to leave if things get heated. I think you'll find it hard to rescue her.

 

[Primrose66]

Long post...... Background story

My Nan has been an independent woman for as long as I can remember. And always enjoyed a little drink She was with a kind and gentle man for a 15 years. About 7 years ago h suddenly passed away. My nan then started to drink more. I may sound horrible when I say this but she started turning nasty (verbally) towards the family. She used to call me which I was happy about but once I said hello she said that she was meant to be calling someone else I haven't spoken to her since last Christmas because she didn't want to make anytime for me ( well that's what I thought)
Earlier on this year she had a Nasty fall which she doesn't remember. After a number of tests she was told that she is an alcoholic and has alcohol infused dementia. She has a number of infections on her liver and has been given 3 different vitamin tablets. She forgets to take them. My Uncle is trying to get power of attorney because she refuses to go into a home. I live 78 miles away and don't know what to do. Her short term memory has totally gone,she doesn't look after herself anymore. Her doctor has basically said I am not going to tell you to stop drinking because it will probably kill you but I would suggest to have one glass of wine a night. She gets one of her neighbours to buy her whiskey as well and hides it's.

I suppose the reason for this post is okay have dealt with other illnesses in my family but never this so I would like some support I suppose.
We have been told that if she has another fall and bleeds that she will end up in hospital and probably not come out. If you were me would you go and see her? I know she won't remember or would you wait till she was possibly in a home as it will be safer for everyone?

I'm so confused and don't know how to deal with any of this.

Thankyou for reading

I am so sorry to hear about this . It must be extremely difficult to deal with the behaviour and see your Nan deteriorate. She clearly does not have mental capacity to make an informed decision and should go into a care home. whether she consents or not. (Alternatively she could be detained under the Mental Health Act , also called sectioning) Then she would be somewhere safe like a dementia unit . Because she has dementia they don't need her consent, she can be taken in for her own welfare and safety. Ask the GP about this. There are homes and hospital wards for older people with mental health / addiction and dementia. They are places of sanctuary and safety for the individual, she would be well cared for. Also If you don't already have one, the GP can get a social worker assessment. Or ring Old Peoples Social worker services yourself. They can offer advice and support to you as well. I am in Ireland so things are slightly different but hope this is of some help x

 

[Haysmills]

Thankyou. My uncle is dealing with everything. He has said that social services are being bought in. I just know that there isn't a lot of time and I know it's irreversible. It's a hard thing to digest because she's always been strong. I think I'm scared to see her because I know she has lost alot of weight and looks ill and don't want to show I'm upset in front of her. I just knew I needed to find some support so I can try and be strong for my mum and sisters. X

 

[by_the_sea]

Hi, I know how you feel.
My mother-in-law was diagnosed with alcohol induced dementia earlier this year. She was drinking about 100 units a week and is a tiny little lady.

I just wanted to let you know that there may be some hope of her changing her behaviour. My MIL went from refusing to reduce her drinking to gradually accepting some help to reduce how much she was drinking. Over a good few months she has got to the stage where she is drinking very little alcohol now. This has had beneficial effects to both her nastiness and her physical health.

So please don't give up. There is some hope that she might accept help and I wish you all the best with that.

 

[Izzy]

I’m sorry to hear about your nan’s situation. I wondered if this fact sheet would be of any help -

Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome

Find out about Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome, a condition caused by drinking too much alcohol, including information on symptoms, diagnosis and treatment.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Bearz77]

I don’t know much about alcohol induced dementia but I do have a mother with Alzheimer’s and a father who can’t stop drinking. Whatever I say to him about the drinking, and his doctor, and other members of the family, will not change his mind. Unfortunately the person needs to recognise the problem for themselves. I’ve had to come up with tactics to deal with his behaviour eg leaving when things get too difficult. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. X