1. lyn

    lyn Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Dear all, I hope you are well.

    Just to let you know that my darling mum passed away yesterday (consumed with cancer). Her torment is over now bless. Sis and I & her 3 grandchildren were with her. We held her hand and told her how much we loved her as she gradually slipped away. The day before she died she told us that she liked the 'lights' and that dad came to sit with her when she was on her own. (Dad has been gone 10 years now) When we knew that the time was near we told her that it was safe to go into the light and that dad was there waiting for her. It has broken my heart to send her away I desperately wanted her to stay but her body had just had enough, she hadn't eaten for nearly 3 months, not a single thing. She's with dad now which is what she wanted. It goes without saying but I'll miss her so much.

    The nursing home were wonderful, they just couldn't do enough for her or us. They saw to her needs 24/7 (mum had bowel cancer/liver & lung) We would never have coped without their support.

    My thoughts and love are with you all who have loved ones suffering from AD. Mum never went the full stretch with this awful disease. She still knew who we were and was able to talk to us in her way hours before she died. She told us she loved us and not to cry. I will treasure this for as long as I live.

    Im at a loss now, I feel that I'm in a kind of limbo. We have a lot to do this week, arrangements etc, we are going to give her the best send off (being of Irish decent) that we can and after the shin-dig I'll post back.

    Take care all, god bless.

  2. fizz

    fizz Registered User

    Oct 19, 2005
    uk, mansfield
    hi lyn, so sorry for your loss, but as you say mum and dad are together now
    so although your greaving be happy also for the wonderful times you spent together as a family, and just be grateful mums suffering is over.

    love fizz xxx
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    West Sussex
    Dear Lyn, my thoughts are with you at this sad time. Take strength in the knowledge that as you say, your beloved Mum is now with your Dad and whole again. This will be a tough week for you to get through, saying goodbye is never easy. Love and hugs, She. XX
  4. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Deat Lyn
    my thoughts are with you at this sad time.
  5. KarenC

    KarenC Registered User

    Jun 2, 2005
    Los Angeles, USA
    Hi Lyn, my best wishes to you at this sad time. I'm glad your mother's final hours were peaceful and loving, and you and your family were able to be with her.
  6. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi Lyn

    sorry for your loss, but glad for your Mum's release.

    Your message was really poignant and I loved your description of her going into the light.

    Take things slowly for a while as you will need time to adjust.
  7. jc141265

    jc141265 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2005
    Hi Lyn, I am very sorry for your loss.

    Thank-you too for sharing your mum's last moments, it gives me hope that there is more after this and thus hopefully Dad isn't suffering for nothing and last but not least, he might be happy in the next world.

    Thank- you again, my thoughts are with you.
  8. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    #8 Lynne, Oct 31, 2005
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2005
    Lyn, I'm sorry you have lost her

    Whilst there is not much good that can be said for dying of cancer, in this instance I think it spared her and you from a more prolonged and tortuous ending to her life. My Dad died from a brain tumour (years ago now) so I think my feelings then may be similar to yours now - grief, anger, sorrow, emptiness, all mixed with some relief that the suffering - for her - is over at last. And then the demon guilt, 'cos how can it be right to feel relieved that someone has died? But there is more to 'life' than just breathing in & out, and a death can be a moving forward in such circumstances.

    Rest assured that you did everything you could possibly have done to ensure that her final weeks were as comfortable as she could be, and that she knew you all loved her, and love her still.
  9. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Sussex

    Just wanted to say sorry to hear about the death of your Mum.

    Thinking of you and your family, but am so pleased at the thought that your Dad is now with her and she died surrounded by the people she loved the most.

  10. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    Dear Lyn,

    I was so sorry to read your lastest news, but your description of your mum's last hours were truly inspiring.

    At least you know that you and your family did all that you could for her and she died feeling loved and cherished.

    It was good to know that the 24/7 support of an outstanding care home helped you to concentrate on making her last days as comfortable and special as possible.

    Take care,


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