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My mum refuses to go to gp

Harvey nix

Registered User
Apr 11, 2015
2
My mum is 80 and showing signs of memory loss and confusion. She has suffered slightly for over a year but refuses to acknowledge it or go to gp. My dad was recently in hospital and is now home. He is very alert mentally but physically poor. My mum is his carer. I've spoke to family gp who is very close to my mum. She advised we need to get her to go to see gp. She won't though saying it's her age.
 
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MerryWive

Registered User
Mar 20, 2015
55
My mum is 80 and showing signs of memory loss and confusion. She has suffered slightly for over a year but refuses to acknowledge it or go to gp. My dad was recently in hospital and is now home. He is very alert mentally but physically poor. My mum is his carer. I've spoke to family gp who is very close to my mum. She advised we need to get her to go to see gp. She won't though saying it's her age.
Would she accept the GP visiting her? Our GP does house visits for those who are unable to get to the surgery. Maybe if you tell your Mum the GP wants to see her she might be more open to it??
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
You're not on your own there Harvey, it's on of the first and most difficult of obstacles to overcome and bear in mind that if you do get her to go them she may talk about anything the doctors need to be made aware of what the issue really is beforehand.
But it may be that given she is 80 some of it may be as she says "it's her age" do you have any other relatives of her age you can compare her to? OK your dad's still sharp but how does your Mum compare to her peers, your aunts, uncles, people of her own age? Do get her to the doctors as there is medication available should it be AZ but it's not a cure at best it slows it down.
K
 

Not so Rosy

Registered User
Nov 30, 2013
578
The only way my Dad would see his GP for the last five years he was in his own house was when it was a home visit.

GP used to visit every couple of months saying she was visiting a neighbour and thought she would do a curtesy call.

All of Dads dementia diagnosis was done from home, GP, Consultant Physchiatrist, CPN.
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
12,932
England
Hello Harvey and welcome to talking Point.

I have several annual checks with my GP. There is no medical reason for these checks, they seem to be routine especially targeting the elderly. Would your Mum respond to a routine letter if her GP sent her one for a blood pressure test. The GP could then chat about her health in general and hopefully she will not notice the way the conversation is going. It is very difficult when denial is there and without any tests etc. there will be no medical help offered.

Good luck.
 

DazeInOurLives

Registered User
Dec 10, 2009
107
East Midlands,UK
twitter.com
My mum is 80 and showing signs of memory loss and confusion. She has suffered slightly for over a year but refuses to acknowledge it or go to gp. My dad was recently in hospital and is now home. He is very alert mentally but physically poor. My mum is his carer. I've spoke to family gp who is very close to my mum. She advised we need to get her to go to see gp. She won't though saying it's her age.
I'd go back to the GP, explain her resistance and request that she is sent a letter for a 'routine well being check up". They see this all the time and should be ok with it. If that doesn't work, write her GP a letter being very specific about her symptoms and your concerns. Something should happen from that. I'd ask the GP not to mention that you have been in touch because her knowing that could bring about difficult feelings between you and your Mum.

Good luck.
 

anniem66

Registered User
Aug 28, 2015
2
I'd go back to the GP, explain her resistance and request that she is sent a letter for a 'routine well being check up". They see this all the time and should be ok with it. If that doesn't work, write her GP a letter being very specific about her symptoms and your concerns. Something should happen from that. I'd ask the GP not to mention that you have been in touch because her knowing that could bring about difficult feelings between you and your Mum.



Good luck.
I agree with this. Fortunately our gp was great. I wrote her a detailed letter stating my concerns, giving concrete examples of specific incidents and explaining my mum's reluctance. She saw my mum on the pretext of checking her heart condition.
Perhaps you can ask your gp to visit your dad and do a 'carer health check' for your mum while they are there.