Hi. I'm not quite sure which forum this fits into, but as it relates to LPOA I'll try this one. I hold LPOA for Health/Welfare & Finance for mum who has no capacity whatsover.
Last August, mum stopped eating. At that time, she was being pumped full of Oral Nutritional Supplements. As she had stopped eating, was in pain, bedridden and very distressed with no quality of life, I had a frank discussion with her GP and it was agreed that the ONS would be withdrawn so that the natural course of events could unfold. The GP and I felt that the ONS were serving no purpose other than to prolong her suffering.
After about a week or so, mum's appetite began to return little by little and her weight, although very low, remained stable. It became clear that the ONS had been making mum feel full, suppressing her appetite for real food.
A couple of months later, mum's care home closed down and she was moved to another nursing home. As soon as she arrived, the dementia unit manager began to pressure me into reinstating the supplements. I asked to speak with the dietician so that I could be more fully informed and it was agreed that, given mum's advanced stage of dementia, a food first approach should be adopted with the addition of a maintenance dose of ONS - just one Aymes shake daily to help to keep her comfortable. Mum was eating again, although only small amounts, as is to be expected.
When I visit mum I tend to go during the lunch period so that I can feed mum myself and gauge her oral intake. During the last 3 weeks or so, mum hasn't eaten any of her lunch at all. I've also noticed ONS wrappers in her bin. I had my suspicions, so today I requested mum's GP records and discovered that she is now on 5 ONS daily. There has been no consultation with me from the GP, care home or dietician. The ONS prescription was increased on 24th April.
The requested GP records also revealed that mum had her Covid booster on 19th April. There was a copy of a consent form with my name written in the signature box, stating that I had given consent by phone - I had not as I didn't know anything about it.
Other alterations have been made to mum's medication without consultation with me. In fact, unless I ask staff at the care home, I don't get any updates with regards to mum's health and well being and when I do ask I usually get the most non-committal, nondescript response. I can't help but think that I'm deliberately being kept in the dark.
I would really appreciate some shared experiences regarding communication between care homes and relatives. I have no yardstick by which to measure my experience and before I have a word with the care home manager, it would be handy to know if this is the norm and I'm expecting too much. As mum's LPOA, I would have expected more in the way of consultation.
Thanks in advance.
Last August, mum stopped eating. At that time, she was being pumped full of Oral Nutritional Supplements. As she had stopped eating, was in pain, bedridden and very distressed with no quality of life, I had a frank discussion with her GP and it was agreed that the ONS would be withdrawn so that the natural course of events could unfold. The GP and I felt that the ONS were serving no purpose other than to prolong her suffering.
After about a week or so, mum's appetite began to return little by little and her weight, although very low, remained stable. It became clear that the ONS had been making mum feel full, suppressing her appetite for real food.
A couple of months later, mum's care home closed down and she was moved to another nursing home. As soon as she arrived, the dementia unit manager began to pressure me into reinstating the supplements. I asked to speak with the dietician so that I could be more fully informed and it was agreed that, given mum's advanced stage of dementia, a food first approach should be adopted with the addition of a maintenance dose of ONS - just one Aymes shake daily to help to keep her comfortable. Mum was eating again, although only small amounts, as is to be expected.
When I visit mum I tend to go during the lunch period so that I can feed mum myself and gauge her oral intake. During the last 3 weeks or so, mum hasn't eaten any of her lunch at all. I've also noticed ONS wrappers in her bin. I had my suspicions, so today I requested mum's GP records and discovered that she is now on 5 ONS daily. There has been no consultation with me from the GP, care home or dietician. The ONS prescription was increased on 24th April.
The requested GP records also revealed that mum had her Covid booster on 19th April. There was a copy of a consent form with my name written in the signature box, stating that I had given consent by phone - I had not as I didn't know anything about it.
Other alterations have been made to mum's medication without consultation with me. In fact, unless I ask staff at the care home, I don't get any updates with regards to mum's health and well being and when I do ask I usually get the most non-committal, nondescript response. I can't help but think that I'm deliberately being kept in the dark.
I would really appreciate some shared experiences regarding communication between care homes and relatives. I have no yardstick by which to measure my experience and before I have a word with the care home manager, it would be handy to know if this is the norm and I'm expecting too much. As mum's LPOA, I would have expected more in the way of consultation.
Thanks in advance.
