My husband's Dementia journey is over.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Casbow, May 28, 2019.

  1. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    987
    Colchester
    At 10 p.m.on Sunday my darling husband finally found peace. After 11 years of suffering from this wicked disease, he passed quietly and peacefully. But it was also unexpected and I was not there. The carer that called an ambulance and then sat with David, said that he just went to sleep. The shock was terrible and I felt cheated because I wasn't there, but have to be happy that it was peaceful. As it was sudden and unexplained death we now have to wait to see what the Coroner says. And of course, it was a bank holiday yesterday so nothing has been done yet. I cannot believe that it is now over and I will not be visiting him in the nursing home anymore. I want to say thank you to everyone on here that have supported me over the last 6 years. At times you saved my life and my sanity. I will come on here sometimes to see how you all are and hope things aren't too difficult for you all at the moment. My love to you all. Carol.xxxxxxx
     
  2. Guzelle

    Guzelle Registered User

    Aug 27, 2016
    342
    Sheffield
    So sorry for your loss, but at least it was peaceful.
     
  3. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    1,284
    Female
    South of the Border
    My condolences - but also my congratulations - that might seem strange, but you have walked the journey alongside your husband, loved him and cared for him, so, yes, congratulations on a task well carried out with love.

    Do not worry that you were not there.... sometimes these things happen to spare us. I know this in my own experience.

    Do pop in to see how we all are - but carry yourself forward with pride, and remember the man you married rather than the one that this wicked, wicked disease left you with......

    Good Luck in the days and years ahead.

    xxx
     
  4. RosettaT

    RosettaT Registered User

    Sep 9, 2018
    190
    Female
    Mid Lincs
    Bless you Carol. I know it will be hard for you especially as it was unexpected but he is now at peace. I hope things don't drag on for you.

    Please accept my condolences. (((Hugs)))
     
  5. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,703
    Male
    Bristol
    Condolences on your loss, Carol.
     
  6. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,447
    south-east London
    My condolences on your loss @Casbow. It's been a rollercoaster life for you both. I know you are struggling at not being there in the final moments - but you were there for so much more throughout the years - and that cannot be taken away or diminished. I am glad to know that the end was peaceful - it is the best we can hope for. Thinking of you at such a difficult time.
     
  7. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,022
    Merseyside
    I’m so sorry to read this @Casbow. My thoughts are with you.
     
  8. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,801
    Nottinghamshire
    My condolences @Casbow.

    My dad also went unexpectedly and I wasn't with him. At least it was quick and he wasn't alone. I hope you can gain some comfort from that.
     
  9. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    513
    Scotland
    Dear Carol - Condolences on your loss. xx
     
  10. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,710
    Yorkshire
    sad news @Casbow
    your husband is now at peace
    and I hope you have some peace yourself
    you saw him through and stood beside him in body and spirit throughout
    be gentle with yourself now
     
  11. Lorna44

    Lorna44 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2016
    175
    Female
    Surrey
    I'm sorry for your loss x
     
  12. Vic10

    Vic10 Registered User

    Feb 18, 2017
    51
    Bless you. Be kind to yourself.
    So sorry for your loss
     
  13. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,380
    Kent
    I am so sorry Casbow and that you weren't there however for your darling husband to slip into peaceful sleep was a kind way for him to reach end of life after his years of torment and distress both for him and you. I hope the next few days bring some comfort in knowing you did everything you could for him during his devastating illness and thinking of you.
     
  14. Hallim

    Hallim New member

    May 4, 2019
    1
    Condolences to you. May God bless you.
     
  15. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,321
    leicester
    My sincere condolences to you and wishing you strength for the future
     
  16. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    806
    Please accept my condolences.Take care of yourself,try to remember all the times you were there for your husband rather than dwell on the fact that you couldn't be there at the end.
     
  17. MAMMYGRANNY

    MAMMYGRANNY Registered User

    Jan 26, 2016
    55
    Casbow - I am so sorry for your loss - may your husband rest in peace now, free at last from this most dreadful illness. Please do not feel bad that you were not there when he passed away in his sleep - you were there with him all those years and cared for him so well. I wish you peace in the weeks and months ahead.
     
  18. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,738
    Female
    Scotland
    A peaceful ending is what we all wish for. Peace to you too Casbow.
     
  19. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,585
    Scotland
    Sending my condolences on your loss.
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    What a shock it was to see your post when I came on line @Casbow /Carol.

    I`m glad your husband died peacefully after such a traumatic progression of his dementia , even if it was so unexpected. I`m sorry you were not able to be with him . My husband`s death was expected and I wasn`t with him when he died either and this could have also been your experience too.

    Please accept my sincere condolences.
     

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