Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @MarleneE .
What I did with my mum was send in a bullet list of my concerns ahead of any appointment. Mum was very good at seeming fine, even though I knew she wasn't. This enabled the GP or whoever to ask questions based on what I'd said. Maybe you could contact the neurologist with your concerns and ask that they see him again? The other thing is that if he attended the appointment on his own he might be giving you a rather different version of what was said. For a long time my mum appeared to be fine going to appointments, then I realised she would hone in on one aspect of the appointment, such as how good she was for her age, rather than everything that had been discussed. After that my brother or I tried to make sure we went with her. This was before we started to become seriously concerned about her mental capacity.
My husband has been diagnosed with MCI. This diagnosis was about 8 months ago. Ever since I have been accompanying him to each of his appointments. Until recently he was always very accurate in recalling most of the information shared re medication in particular. He has always been at looking after himself with respect to his health. But he hasn’t remembered the information regarding ways to alleviate and refresh his brain like journalling, or brain games or drinking more water etc. On one hand he prefers not to do these things and on the other there are clear moments when he knows he is to do these things.
Last Thursday he and I went to the neurologist for his repeat prescription and during this appt my husband asked what would be needed for him so that his brain can be better. Really surprised at how surprised I was that he asked this question as it wasn’t part of our conversations on the way to the docs. My husband (MH) talked about how he is stressed and when the doc asked what causes him the stress, MH said that my wife (me) causes him the most stress. Wow. That was fun; I then explained how he asks me why I look so sad and what has he done to make me angry, and then this meant I had to outline what it has been like at home and the shoulder pains MH has been experiencing these past two months, the depression it has caused, the lack of energy in MH.
MH said that he did not want to take anti depressants and he didn’t want to see a counsellor but I said that we have made an appointment to meet with one.
Afterward the appt, MH was surprised at the effect of what he called “airing in public”. I didn’t react, just kept calm and answered how this is how he felt and that he wanted to talk about it, get it off his chest. Then we got a call that MH is booked to see a psychologist. He knew about it and talked about it with me as we were driving back home.
The date and time was entered into our calendar, which he and I go by each day and week.
This evening he came to me before going to bed stating that he did not agree to see the psychologist and that it was made against his knowledge. It seems that anything which triggers a sense of vulnerability is going to make waves. SOrry that was a long story, but I guess it does link up with what you brought up, Marlene. Just keep going with him.