My father in law has dementia

[Emma Reed]

I’ve joined the forum to look for information regarding help at home to see whether another people have found help that we’re looking for. My father jn law was diagnosed with vascular dementia a few years ago and scared for by his wife. Only now are we seeing difficulties and are worried it’s getting too much. He has difficulty in making himself understood, my mother in law is extremely good, but he is getting frustrated and upsets my mother in law. He isn’t poorly enough to stay in a care home but we’re considering a carer to pop in and help with washing etc or sitting with him whilst my mother In’law can have some me time. Has anyone had similar situation and was it a simple process to arrange.

 

[Bunpoots]

Hi Emma, welcome to the forum.

I found that getting carers in for my dad took a lot of the stress away from me and helped with the frustration. I initially found him carers to help him get washed and dressed in the mornings and he was much more co-operative with them than he had been with me.

If your dad (only your dad not your mum) has savings over about £23k he’ll have to pay for carers if it’s less than this (including half of any joint savings) then he’ll get help with paying for care.

My dad had some savings so I contacted a care agency who said they dealt with dementia and told them what my dad was like on a bad day to see if they thought they could cope. The manager then came out to dad’s home - I made sure I answered the door so I could explain that dad would say he didn’t need any help as he had no insight to his needs by then - and did an assessment of the sort of help we needed. It was just a chat and the manager took notes and agreed a care plan which I approved later (I had LPA)

Dad was self funding for a short while so I then contacted SS for a financial assessment as his money wasn’t going to last long as his needs increased.

I hope this answers your question. Do let us know how you get on.

 

[canary]

I have found carers a godsend @Emma Reed

I contacted SS for a needs assessment as OH would need help with funding, but before that I contacted some care agencies because there was a long wait for SS and I needed help straight away. My experience was the same as Bunpoots. I got a coupleof agencies to assess OH and give us quotes (they can vary in price) and then made a decision. The assessor of our chosen agency was lovely and not at all intimidating or made OH feel upset. A care plan was agreed and we got someone in to help OH get shaved, washed, dressed, catheter care and lotion put on his skin as he is prone to eczema. It used to take me all morning doing this and has made my life so much easier now.

OH wasnt keen on having carers to start with, but there was really no choice and he has got used to them now and rather looks forward to seeing them - I know I do!