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    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

My dear Mum passed away last night

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Emily M, Oct 25, 2015.

  1. Emily M

    Emily M Registered User

    Jan 20, 2015
    178
    Thank you

    Thanks for all your kind replies. EM
     
  2. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,659
    North West
    Please accept my condolences.
     
  3. theunknown

    theunknown Registered User

    Apr 17, 2015
    325
    Is it the coroner's office that you spoke to about this Emily? The reason I'm asking is that my sister's husband died in January. It was pretty obvious what he'd died off, but he fell unconcious on his sofa and never woke up. This meant there needed to be a post-mortem and an inquest. The inquest didn't take place 'til October, after which the coroner's office were the one's who filed the death certificate with the local registry office. Because of this the coroner's office issued an interim certificate (which happened a few days after his death), which was all that was needed for the funeral to take place. What conflicting feelings you must be having. It would be good for you to have your holiday x

    It makes sense that your mum's death is so distressing, despite the release for her. The fact that I don't know what type of funeral my mum would want is upsetting to me. There's nothing mentioned in her will. I'd want a humanist ceremony, but I don't even know if my mum still believed in God at the time she went into a care home.
     
  4. Emily M

    Emily M Registered User

    Jan 20, 2015
    178
    #24 Emily M, Oct 29, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2015

    Hello unknown

    Thank you for your reply.

    Fortunately, we have now found out that there will be no post mortem or inquest. Although Mum had a fall and she had had an operation a few weeks ago she died from an unspecified infection, probably the chest. Also her sodium levels were high, but then she was probably dehydrated because often she was refusing food and drink in the last couple of weeks. We could ask for a PM, but there is nothing to be gained and it won't bring her back. We wouldn't want her back in her advanced state of dementia. It seems to have been thought that Mum's advanced Alzheimer's was contributory.

    It is interesting that you talk about the funeral your Mum would want. I too am a humanist. Mum's husband said he didn't want anything too religious as, "She wasn't really into that." I have decided to have, "All Things Bright and Beautiful" because she used to sing that and she loved birds, animals and nature. That is the only thing that touches on anything religious. The rest is truly a humanist ceremony. I suppose I have covered all aspects!

    I am so relieved that after much discussion the family have come up with some date that fits in with their hectic workload. Hopefully I can get that sorted out tomorrow.

    We are hopefully still going on holiday as it will do us good.

    EM
     

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