Mum passed away in the early hours of this morning. Because she had Alzheimer’s it is a blessing, I thought I would cope better than I am now but I am totally devastated. This is worse than Dad’s passing. He still looked fairly well and still had a sharp mind. He didn’t have Alzheimer’s, knew he would not go on for long and said so. It was almost as if he planned it – “I’ve had enough and I’m going.” Mum was so vulnerable, didn’t deserve this and had no control over it. The story is all too familiar. She went into a home in June when things got so bad. I was happy with this as step father was finding it difficult to cope. She readily accepted the home; she was better fed, in beautiful surroundings and spent most of the day wandering around. All was well until last month she fell and broke her hip. The operation went well and she seemed to be recovering well, though was not walking. Then a week ago she became unwell with some kind of unspecific infection and was taken to hospital. They thought she wouldn’t last the night, but she went on for 6 days. A strong heart and lungs. I hadn’t seen her for 3 or 4 weeks and I was shocked at how much thinner she was. Every day she looked a little worse. I doubt she weighed 32 kilos at the end. Poor Mum. To complicate things we are supposed to be going on holiday in a week's time. Everything is in place and it is possible to go, though I don't really feel like it. It is so difficult to go away or think about enjoying oneself until Mum is finally put to rest. I have my husband to consider as he was really looking forward to the break. How do you ever comes to terms with this? It's all so complicated.