• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

mums took to her bed

nemesisis

Registered User
May 25, 2006
100
after a year of abuse every visit (you know how it goes) I have stolen her money, sent care providers to spy on her, stole her keys so she couldn't get out,stole her pens so she couldn't write to anyone etc. after the last visit from cpn and I told her she was aggresive with me and care providers she increased mums anti depressant dose and now all she seems to do is sleep. I feel this is wrong as I would rather take abuse and see mum doing things than seeing her doped up in bed is this the next stage or nhs keeping her at home on medication instead of looking after her properly?
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,396
Kent
Dear nemesis,

Perhaps your mother is adapting to the higher dose of her drug. I would ask the doctor .

It`s a bit of a catch 22 situation isn`t it. You don`t want her to be aggressive but you don`t want her doped up to the eyeballs either.

It`s so difficult to get it right.

Take care
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
I always found with Lionel that things went in stages.

Just when you thought you could not take any more aggression, they either suggested upping the meds. or he tailed off.

Then the round would start up again, increasing momentum, till I thought I could not take any more.......but something always held me back. Like you I always felt I would rather have him verbally abusing me than dopped up.

It is a fine line we tread. Couple of the 'tage' lines here on TP come to mind:

Day by day.
This too in time will pass.

Love n'hugs
 

nemesisis

Registered User
May 25, 2006
100
true

yes it was horrible when i visited to read the letters she had written about me i was the one doing all these things and my brother (who only visits twice a year) but phones every sunday was wonderful (but bless sons !!) (I have one myself)and the era my mum knows is daughters are the careres but I would still rather have mum saying nasty things than laying in bed like she has given up x
 

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
723
72
London
dear nemesis, such a difficult one to call, isn't it? My Mum won't take any medication, so she gets stroppy most of the time, but again, would I want her lying around giving up?

Sorry no solution offered, but my thoughts are with you.
 

nemesisis

Registered User
May 25, 2006
100
fiona x

ta fiona
had to fight to get mum to take aricept
but as it was hard to get it when she was prescribed thought it was for the best she took it (we all do what we think is right) xx