Mums siblings going in holiday.. How to explain?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Linbrusco, Jun 27, 2015.

  1. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,587
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Two of Mums sisters are going on holiday back to Scotland for a month in August.
    One of her sisters rings her every week to 10 days, the other sister Mum maybe hears from once a month. Mum will ocassionally ring them, if she has remembered something important to tell.

    I have already told Mums sisters not to tell her that they are going.
    They went 3 yrs ago round about the time time of Mums decline with dementia, and what an uproar that caused, for excluding her ( never mind the fact that she had no passport, money to travel or health at that time)
    This time it would cause Mum more upset, confusion, and agitation. Beleive you me its not something that she would forget either.

    So I can explain one sisters absence for a month but not two, if Mum takes it into her head to ring them.
    My plan so far is for the sister that rings often to call her the day before she flies out, but drop into the conversation that her and her husband are going on holiday but locally.
    Mum would accept that.
    Then maybe 2 weeks in, round about the time that Mums sister would call, I would tell Mum that her sister rang when she was out, but called to say Goodbye, and will be back in 2 weeks time.
    I only hope that Mum doesn't start calling her other sister, wondering why she can never get her in?
    Does this sound the best idea? Given the cost of phoning from another country on a mobile they are not likely to ring Mum to pretend they are still at home.

    This is one aspect of AD I hate the most. Telling lies and deceipt.
    I know they have been mentioned as love lies, but this is a pretense I have to keep up for a whole month :rolleyes:
     
  2. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    231
    Female
    NW England
    I think your idea sounds okay.
    The only other thing I can think of is (more deceit!) to come up with a story about phone lines being down or mobiles being lost.

    If your aunts are staying with relatives with a landline it isn't too expensive to make a short call to NZ either.

    good luck

    brambles x
     
  3. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    4,995
    UK
    I would also go with the out of order phone line.

    Is there any chance she will no be aware of how long they have been gone?
     
  4. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,942
    North East England
    #4 cragmaid, Jun 28, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2015
    I wouldn't say anything at all. If Mum did make any comment, you could always just say that perhaps ( with the emphasis on perhaps) they have gone on holiday and that they will ring her when they get back. Don't give any more detail than that. The problem with convoluted plans and stories is that, sometimes things go wrong in the re_telling!


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  5. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,182
    Agree, stick with the truth, its easier to remember!
    Details to a bare minimum, and claim ignorance!

    Bod
    ps. Be thankful their not going in the haggis export season. A souvenir might give the game away!
     
  6. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,587
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand

    Thanks for the replies

    Just as well Mum doesn't like haggis :)
    Hopefully my Aunts remember not to send a postcard.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.