Mums poorly again :-(

[mothergoose]

Good evening everyone,

I haven't been here for a while as trying to cope with day to day life!!
Mum is in final stages of Vascular dementia and hasn't recognised or spoken to anyone for at least 4 years, bed bound and now having the start of swallowing difficulties, (suction given quite regular lately)
Brief update

Got home from work today ready to become a domestic goddess and the phone rings ....its mums nursing home could I get there asap as mum is really not well and the doctor has been to her as she is running high temp and is showing signs of deep chest infection again.
when I got there my mum looked sooooo tired and poorly she was very sleepy but was twitching and very vocal (just noisy, haven't heard her make a sound for many a year) which upset me. I just sat with her playing her music (even though I know this blasted disease has taken her hearing and her sight) but it made me feel better
I just feel like the roller coaster of emotions that I have been trying to keep a lid on for my own sanity is starting again. Is it going to be the same thinking this is it and then go back tomorrow and she is laying there bright as a button. sorry that makes me sound very selfish I miss my mum so much and I know that if this IS the time this time I am going to crack completely (as haven't got over loosing dad yet 8/01/11 ...not to dementia)

My only wish like most of you I expect is to have my mum back, if only for a short time to tell her all the things she has missed and show her how her handsome grandson (they were like 2 mischievous children when they were together ;-) ) has grown into a fine young man that I know she would be so proud of.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings just needed to write down how I'm feeling right now.
thanks again

Mothergoose aka Tina

 

[sammie]

"Is it going to be the same thinking this is it and then go back tomorrow and she is laying there bright as a button. sorry that makes me sound very selfish"

hi Tina what you said above is exactly how i feel, its like being on an emotional roller coaster and i want to get off ! i am glad i am not on my own because i felt very selfish thinking this way

sam

 

[mothergoose]

Sammie
You are so right today when I went to see her she was much brighter and her temp was back to normal.
Stop this roller coaster I want to get off, I feel so selfish as I said but just can't help it

Tina

 

[Christin]

Hello Tina, I am so sorry to read your post, but pleased it helps to write things down. It is a difficult time for you. Thinking of you and sending a hug. xx

 

[mothergoose]

Thank you for your reply xxx hugs to you all

 

[kasglass]

rollercoaster

hi i know what you mean, the journey through dementia is a real roller coaster, we have had lots of emergency dashes to mums home over the last three year always being ready for the final dash.even as far as getting funeral plans ready when warned by docs mum has hours, days weeks left etc. Only to go and do another visit to be told mum has made a mariclous recovery,while great it really does tear the whole family apart. My way of coping is to take a step back and let home take care of most lesser emergencies falling out of bed,water infections etc and only make the dash for the final emergency when ever that will be. i can only send you hugs and best wishes