Hi everyone
My heads not very clear at the moment so i just thought i'd have a moan and in the meantime, i'd be grateful for any suggestions.
My mum is 76, she does not have AD, however she does have cancer, the problem is that since Ray died she seems to be suffering from depression, she's very weepy............i've tried to get her to go to the doctors but she won't go. She lives with my dad, so she's not on her own.
I take her food shopping every week and shopping shopping every other week, i take her to hospital and doctors appointments, infact, anywhere she needs to go, i take her!........before Ray died i used to take her on holiday every year and i would take her for a night out at least once a week.
Since Ray died, i don't want to go out (going to the same places just brings back memories) so our nights out have stopped............she's been moaning at me since Ray died, saying i've changed, i'm not the same person, i don't care about anything anymore, i don't visit as often etc, etc...........she keeps crying and saying how much she misses him........and to be honest, i can't handle it!
She's right, i have changed.........and maybe she's right and i don't care about anything anymore and i don't visit as much as i did because i can't handle anyone elses grief at the moment...........i know that sounds selfish, but its how i feel!
My son keeps saying 'she won't be here forever, so make the most of her while you can' and i know that...... but bl**dy hell......it doesn't help!
I went on holiday last week and when i told her i was going, she went in the huff...........o.k. so i didn't tell her til the last minute, because i knew she'd moan about me going away, and i didn't phone her when i was away cos she made it clear she wasn't speaking to me, so what was the point of phoning?
So she's not speaking to me and when i rang her today to arrange a time for shopping she said she doesn't want to go shopping with me ever again, i'm selfish, inconsiderate and unsympathetic!
At this point i should mention that i have 2 sisters who visit once in a blue moon and would never dream of taking her anywhere and i have a brother who makes his once yearly appearance on christmas day...........i know from experience that this huff will last for months and i really don't need the hassle, christmas is going to be bad enough, but i know that she'll wait until xmas morning to have a go..........now, normally i'm a very placid, patient person, but not lately and certainly not on christmas day!................and i just know that when she starts, i'm gonna explode ........and i don't want that to happen!
There is no point in me apologizing for being the way i am as i don't want to change..............i don't want to visit more often because there's a lot of memories there, (maybe i should be further forward than i am, but i still find memories very painful) my mum talks about him constantly and cries and i don't want to face that either............ so i don't quite know what to do!
Maybe this just seems worse because its Christmas!
Anyone wanna part-ex a mum?
Love Alex x
My heads not very clear at the moment so i just thought i'd have a moan and in the meantime, i'd be grateful for any suggestions.
My mum is 76, she does not have AD, however she does have cancer, the problem is that since Ray died she seems to be suffering from depression, she's very weepy............i've tried to get her to go to the doctors but she won't go. She lives with my dad, so she's not on her own.
I take her food shopping every week and shopping shopping every other week, i take her to hospital and doctors appointments, infact, anywhere she needs to go, i take her!........before Ray died i used to take her on holiday every year and i would take her for a night out at least once a week.
Since Ray died, i don't want to go out (going to the same places just brings back memories) so our nights out have stopped............she's been moaning at me since Ray died, saying i've changed, i'm not the same person, i don't care about anything anymore, i don't visit as often etc, etc...........she keeps crying and saying how much she misses him........and to be honest, i can't handle it!
She's right, i have changed.........and maybe she's right and i don't care about anything anymore and i don't visit as much as i did because i can't handle anyone elses grief at the moment...........i know that sounds selfish, but its how i feel!
My son keeps saying 'she won't be here forever, so make the most of her while you can' and i know that...... but bl**dy hell......it doesn't help!
I went on holiday last week and when i told her i was going, she went in the huff...........o.k. so i didn't tell her til the last minute, because i knew she'd moan about me going away, and i didn't phone her when i was away cos she made it clear she wasn't speaking to me, so what was the point of phoning?
So she's not speaking to me and when i rang her today to arrange a time for shopping she said she doesn't want to go shopping with me ever again, i'm selfish, inconsiderate and unsympathetic!
At this point i should mention that i have 2 sisters who visit once in a blue moon and would never dream of taking her anywhere and i have a brother who makes his once yearly appearance on christmas day...........i know from experience that this huff will last for months and i really don't need the hassle, christmas is going to be bad enough, but i know that she'll wait until xmas morning to have a go..........now, normally i'm a very placid, patient person, but not lately and certainly not on christmas day!................and i just know that when she starts, i'm gonna explode ........and i don't want that to happen!
There is no point in me apologizing for being the way i am as i don't want to change..............i don't want to visit more often because there's a lot of memories there, (maybe i should be further forward than i am, but i still find memories very painful) my mum talks about him constantly and cries and i don't want to face that either............ so i don't quite know what to do!
Maybe this just seems worse because its Christmas!
Anyone wanna part-ex a mum?
Love Alex x