Mum with recent diagnosis of mixed Dementia/alzheimers

[9901dawnb]

Hi! My mum has recently been given the diagnosis we've been fighting for for a while, which is a relief. I have many questions and hope this is the right place to ask?!
My main question is around chip & pin. Mum forgets her password regularly and this week after setting up a carer to take her shopping, they arrived by taxi, did the shopping, went to pay and locked her debit card. A taxi ride home with no shopping meant I had to go out later that evening to do her shopping, which defeated the object of the journey. She loves to do her own shopping and I like that it gives her a little bit of independence and get her out of the house but I can't think of a better way of her paying? I can't give her cash as she's vulnerable. Are there any debit cards out there that require a signature rather than pin?

 

[Gosling]

Hello @9901dawnb and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. There is a wealth of shared experience of dementia here and members really do want to help.

I have no knowledge of the question you ask about debit card payments with signatures. Perhaps other members with experience of this sort of issue will be along with any suggestions. I just wanted to welcome you and hope that you find the support and sound advice that this forum brings.

 

[Kevinl]

You could try an easily remembered number like the year you were born in, birthday so for example, year is an easy one it's all 4 figures, birthday (date at random) born on the 4th of July would be 0407.
People do remember dates that are important to them or big events, some elderly lady neighbour mutter to herself the year the war started started so I'm guessing 1939 was her pin, the again looking at her I wondered if 1914 might be the answer too, sorry lady.
Last 4 digits of a UK phone (landline number) just try and find a number they already know.
Hope that helps, good luck. K

 

[nitram]

Card numbers usually consist of four numbers each of four digits.
You can use the first digit in each number for your PIN
<more complex algorithms can be used>

Chip and sign cards are available, eg https://www.barclaycard.co.uk/personal/help/fraud-security/whats-a-chip-sign-card
not all stores accept them , the store staff are responsible for verifying the signature.

 

[Chizz]

Hi! My mum has recently been given the diagnosis we've been fighting for for a while, which is a relief. I have many questions and hope this is the right place to ask?!
My main question is around chip & pin. Mum forgets her password regularly and this week after setting up a carer to take her shopping, they arrived by taxi, did the shopping, went to pay and locked her debit card. A taxi ride home with no shopping meant I had to go out later that evening to do her shopping, which defeated the object of the journey. She loves to do her own shopping and I like that it gives her a little bit of independence and get her out of the house but I can't think of a better way of her paying? I can't give her cash as she's vulnerable. Are there any debit cards out there that require a signature rather than pin?

Hi @9901dawnb
Two friends of mine have had this problem and solved it a different but similar way:

- Friend A lives 5 doors down from her elderly dad who has Alz. Friend A is also retired. When dad wants to go shopping he calls at her door and they go together. She is just accompanying him, and checking he's OK, picking up the right stuff. etc At the till she pays with his credit card as she knows and remembers the pin no. (and every so often she checks his accounts). Dad has seemed to have forgotten that she does this, and if you were to ask him, he'll clearly tell you he does all his own shopping, so can't be that bad, ha!

- Friend B lives about a 70 min drive to her old mum and works part time and can't just nip over there all the time etc. Like your mum, Friend B's mum has a carer from Mind who takes her shopping. Friend B's mum can't really remember things to do with money or credit card. Carer checks the shopping list first. They go shopping. At the end the carer pays with her own credit card, and collects the receipt. She photos the receipt and either emails or whatsapp's the Friend the receipt, and friend transfers the money back to the carer's bank. I don't suppose many carers would want to take this responsibility.

Sooner or later the PWD will not be able to either go shopping or more likely will just no longer understand about the money. Friend B says that when this happens, she'll do the shopping online to be delivered to mum, when carer's there to take it in and check it.

Just a couple of thoughts.

Best wishes

 

[9901dawnb]

Those are great solutions but sadly won’t work for us as the carer is provided by the local authority (mum contributes as she receives DLA). The carers aren’t allowed to pay and because it’s different carers each time, we aren’t able to give them the PIN number. I could see how that would happen with a private carer, who you know will be the same person each time.

 

[LewyDementiaCarer]

Those are great solutions but sadly won’t work for us as the carer is provided by the local authority (mum contributes as she receives DLA). The carers aren’t allowed to pay and because it’s different carers each time, we aren’t able to give them the PIN number. I could see how that would happen with a private carer, who you know will be the same person each time.

Have you considered giving the carer a float in cash? That way they can just pay for the shopping (tell them to make sure they keep the receipt) and then they can return the change & receipt for the shopping afterwards. I would think most carers would be fine with this arrangement.

 

[PeaceLily54]

Hi @9901dawnb
Have you considered to just order online shopping for your mum? I was in a very similar situation where mum (also mixed Dementia) is no longer able to recall PIN numbers and also has Carers. I had to remove all of her cards and bank statements because she would always lose them, (I often found them wrapped in tissue tucked in somewhere around her flat-it was quite a job finding them!). I have PoA which means I can manage her finances and also have duplicate cards which I use solely for her grocery and even clothes shopping for her. I think to take the stress of worrying away iy might be something to consider? she can still have her independence with someone accompanying her on the odd day out but at least you don't have the worry or she doesn't have the stress when she gets to the till. just my thoughts. all the best.