It can be very confusing, I have gone the other way and pulled mum out of care after my faith in care homes hit rock bottom... many a time though I picked Mum up and she was so chatty and normal, she has vascular dementia. In the end it is hard and was hard my end because she was more with it than other people around her so in one place she only had staff to talk to and their time is limited.
In the end after once again medical negligence I took Mum home, dealt with her UTI, and concluded I would keep her out of care and do it myself, not easy but she seems far more with it in a normal home environment, takes herself off to the loo at times in the night and other times gets disorientated but eats normally, chats normally and now attends a day centre Monday to Friday. She wouldn't be safe to live alone with carers in place I don't think although there are times I pop out for an hour or two and she is with it enough not to be in danger at all.
It is a strange disease, she always always knows who we all are, that, to me, is an absolute blessing. At the end of the day there is no wrong or right, it is whatever works for the individual and certainly weekends Mum snoozes whereas she never does at the day centre but with an 8 year old daughter too it is hard to entertain both!
I am not saying all care homes are bad, some of the ground force carers I met along the way were wonderful, but in the end for me personally, my faith in care homes hit rock bottom and the worry of whether Mum was ok or not outweighed having her live with me. I am 47, haven't lived with Mum since I was 18! It is hard work but at night when she says "god bless, see you in the morning", I go to bed knowing she is fed, drunk lots of fluids, had all her meds, is clean and happy...it makes it worthwhile! Initially in care they made a big effort, over time this changed..be vigilant..