Mum rushed into hospital :-

[Dave W]

Home at last

Well, finally Mum is back in her own room in the home. The hospital (I know we can't names) failed to wash her or her hair once in 9 days, have changed some of her medication, and at 4.30 today told us they couldn't arrange transport so if I wanted her 'home' for her birthday (tomorrow), I'd have to sort something out myself (despite having told me she'd definitely be leaving today at 10am - how long does it take to arrange transport when it's your formal responsibility?).

When we arrived at the home, 7 of the staff were waiting in the hall to greet her, hugs all round, fresh flowers in her room, get well cards and birthday cards all over, and one of the team stayed on after her shift to give Mum a bath and wash her hair.

So, I chose a good home. Now I just have to transport it, me, my partner and my so-called career to a city with a hospital with competent ward management. Ho hum.

Mum thankfully given all clear after all tests, although I've definitely noticed a sharp decline in comprehension this week. She's a lot more confused that before the illness, and a lot more disoriented. I hope this is the disorientation of the experience, and not another step downwards. But I shall be there tomorrow, presents in hand, to treat her to fish and chips and a glass of wine (favourites of hers, of course) for a birthday supper. Thank you to all of you for messages during an anxious, stressful (and occasionally ******* annoying) week - all very much appreciated.

If any of you have a relative who needs to spend time on a general ward in a hospital, keep your wits about you, visit as often as you possibly can and observe everything like a hawk - my impression is that mainstream wards have no idea how to look after a dementia sufferer. All the classics - tea left to go cold and taken away, meals taken away uneaten, nothing explained in a way that will make any sense to the patient, no realisation that may need special help with everyday life. I'm sure the ward staff are glad they won't have me on their back for the next few das, but I'm glad I was when I was.

 

[steve54]

My own mother was recently on a general ward with a virus and I was given a stark choice of volunteering her for a psych ward or they'd section her after she became agitated when they tried to medicate her. In hindsight I think the general ward just wanted her out because she had dementia. After 3 horrible days and nights in the psych ward she is home and improving (touch wood).
Dave, all best wishes to you and your Mum.

 

[Grannie G]

Dave, in spite of the hospital, good news about your choice of home. What a lovely welcome.
I`ve yet to hear a good report about general wards in hospitals and their ability to care for those with dementia. It makes very depressing reading. Don`t those people realize their parents, or even they themselves might be in need of such care one day.

 

[Skye]

I`ve yet to hear a good report about general wards in hospitals and their ability to care for those with dementia. It makes very depressing reading. Don`t those people realize their parents, or even they themselves might be in need of such care one day.

Hate to disagre, Sylvia, but I posted a good report about the ward where John spent a month. My only complaint was about understaffing at weekends.

But we have worked very hard to improve things here, running training sessions for nurses and doctors.

Some of you may remember that I was involved in a course for dementia champion nurses earlier this year. The course has just finished, and I've today received a letter from the university thanking me for my input. The course was very successful, and is to be repeated next year. I quote from the letter:

Some of the nurses reported that the defining moment for them was when you spoke out about your experiences, and how that had affected their perception of dementia and caring.

So, folks, if things are to change, it's up to the carers. We're the ones who see the problems, and have worked out the way to overcome them. We all have to speak out.

If you live in a town with a university or college of nursing, why not write to them and ask if they have a dementia course running, and volunteer to help?

I know it's hard, when you're caring, but they will usually pay for cover if needed.

It's up to us!

 

[Margarita]

Well, finally Mum is back in her own room in the home

please to read that your mother was given the all clear after all tests , and your mother back in care home

vomiting violently, and bringing up dark fluid

did they say why she was bringing up dark fluid , was it to do with chest infection , or something she just eaten

If any of you have a relative who needs to spend time on a general ward in a hospital, keep your wits about you, visit as often as you possibly can and observe everything like a hawk - my impression is that mainstream wards have no idea how to look after a dementia sufferer

that mainstream wards have no idea how to look after a dementia sufferer

Thanks for highlighting that

 

[Dave W]

Now there's a good idea

Thanks to everyone for their posts - glad to say Mum had a smashing birthday yesterday, and was brimming with gratitude last night. And lovely to see her with her hair done beautifully and feeling proud of herself again: still pretty confused (I'd say we're now into Stage 6), but much happier.

Struck by Skye's post. How much training in dealing with dementia do nurses actually get? I do hope it extends beyond recognising it and passing it on to 'the specialist' - Mum got good tratment from the radiography team, but that's because one of them knows her. I hope that wasn't just coincidence. But people with dementia get physical illnesses too, and need treatment for them. Not knowing how to deal with the patient must surely make dealing with the physical problem harder? If someone can't clearly communicate a symptom, how does the doctor/nurse get the feedback they need? (I asked Mum every possible question I could think of everytime I visited, and phoned the hospital with anything that sounded important afterwards, but what if no-one had een on hand to do that?) To the ward staff, Mum just appeared to be seen as a sweet old lady who didn't make a lot of sense.

 

[Skye]

You're absolutely right, Dave. Nurses and doctors get very little training, unless they specialise in mental health.

We started out by campaigning for patients in general wards, ran courses for nurses and trainee doctors, and this year the local nursing college, newly become the University of SW Scotland, put on a course for Dementia Champion nurses (nurses already qualified, and working on general wards). It was one or two days a month for a year.

The results really show!