My Mum is living with her alcoholic husband. Even though he is trying to cope he is not equipped with the strength of character required to live with a dementia sufferer. He is drinking much less but is himself physically frail though sound of mind. They absolutely hate one another (have done all their lives).
When they used to fight before dementia, my Mum would have rarely argued back. She would have gone out to avoid the situation getting worse. But now she is getting more beligerant and even starting the arguments, which are always about old grievances (of which there are many). Lately they have nearly come to blows. He has a history of verbal abuse and threatening behaviour towards her. But now that she's fighting back there's are real danger someone is going to get hurt.
My Dad is now at the end of his tether(which was always extremely short). He says he wants to move out and I think that is going to be best all round even though she wouldn't last long on her own in the house. In the mean time SW is trying to get her to go to respite for a week or so to keep them from danger. Of course Mum sees it as the first step down the road to care and is point-blank refusing. She is right of course, as that's where it will ultimately end.
My question is what next? Can they force her into respite? I really don't feel I could get her there by force. I always have her up at the weekend and I really feel I can't face her today. Should I just leave them to it? She also has a history of going to shops to get whiskey and drinking it before she gets home. So there's also the worry that she'll do that if I don't show up today.
I feel like I'm saddled with a big, stubborn, unpredictable child. I feel nothing for her anymore. I have no more to give her. Any one who has read my previous posts will know that she has relied heavily on me since I was a child. I really feel like I don't care what happens to her next even if she's found drunk in the street and ends up in hospital though it would be me left to deal with that mess.
When they used to fight before dementia, my Mum would have rarely argued back. She would have gone out to avoid the situation getting worse. But now she is getting more beligerant and even starting the arguments, which are always about old grievances (of which there are many). Lately they have nearly come to blows. He has a history of verbal abuse and threatening behaviour towards her. But now that she's fighting back there's are real danger someone is going to get hurt.
My Dad is now at the end of his tether(which was always extremely short). He says he wants to move out and I think that is going to be best all round even though she wouldn't last long on her own in the house. In the mean time SW is trying to get her to go to respite for a week or so to keep them from danger. Of course Mum sees it as the first step down the road to care and is point-blank refusing. She is right of course, as that's where it will ultimately end.
My question is what next? Can they force her into respite? I really don't feel I could get her there by force. I always have her up at the weekend and I really feel I can't face her today. Should I just leave them to it? She also has a history of going to shops to get whiskey and drinking it before she gets home. So there's also the worry that she'll do that if I don't show up today.
I feel like I'm saddled with a big, stubborn, unpredictable child. I feel nothing for her anymore. I have no more to give her. Any one who has read my previous posts will know that she has relied heavily on me since I was a child. I really feel like I don't care what happens to her next even if she's found drunk in the street and ends up in hospital though it would be me left to deal with that mess.