Hi I am new here and wonder if anyone has any advice for me.
Mum (94 - dementia with lewy bodies) moved to a care home 10 weeks ago as she could no longer manage on her own in her sheltered accommodation. I still feel so guilty for having gone down this route so I visit her every day for 3-4 hours. I haven't missed a day since she was there and it is getting me down. The reason for this is that mum will not let the carers touch her or do anything to help her. She refuses to go to bed and "sleeps" in her arm chair. The home has now provided her with a recliner as she now has pressure sores on her heels. Once I am there, I have to coerce her to get washed and/or showered, toileted and dressed. She now has a cathether and I even have to empty that because she won't let anyone near. The home say they cannot force themselves on her if she refuses. My concern is, what if I cannot go one day for whatever reason? Will mum have to sit around soiled and unwashed all day because she won't let them near? After 10 weeks of this I am getting very stressed and emotional as I cannot bear the thought of her sitting there waiting for me to come. Is there anything I can do to make them ignore her wishes?
I'd be grateful for any advice. Many thanks.
Mum (94 - dementia with lewy bodies) moved to a care home 10 weeks ago as she could no longer manage on her own in her sheltered accommodation. I still feel so guilty for having gone down this route so I visit her every day for 3-4 hours. I haven't missed a day since she was there and it is getting me down. The reason for this is that mum will not let the carers touch her or do anything to help her. She refuses to go to bed and "sleeps" in her arm chair. The home has now provided her with a recliner as she now has pressure sores on her heels. Once I am there, I have to coerce her to get washed and/or showered, toileted and dressed. She now has a cathether and I even have to empty that because she won't let anyone near. The home say they cannot force themselves on her if she refuses. My concern is, what if I cannot go one day for whatever reason? Will mum have to sit around soiled and unwashed all day because she won't let them near? After 10 weeks of this I am getting very stressed and emotional as I cannot bear the thought of her sitting there waiting for me to come. Is there anything I can do to make them ignore her wishes?
I'd be grateful for any advice. Many thanks.
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