Mum not recognising her own bungalow

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by bella, Oct 24, 2006.

  1. bella

    bella Registered User

    Oct 2, 2006
    2
    Hi this is my 1st visit,my mum diagnosed with ALZ in January this year she is 80 and lives on her own just around the corner from me. She has started not recognising her surroundings and asks if it is ok to eat food out of (this fridge) and is it ok to sleep in (this bed) like they are not her own.She gets upset when she realises. Is anyone else having the same problems? thanx:confused:
     
  2. mumof3

    mumof3 Registered User

    Feb 6, 2006
    82
    Hello Bella - welcome to TP.

    My MIL is a lot younger, only 62, but I recognise the questions.

    A carer helps my MIL to shop and when we asked her why she hadn't eaten anything out of her fridge from the previous week's shop she said they weren't hers, they were the carers. This is an ongoing problem despite countless reassurances. She says she has sneaked the food when she does eat the yogurts etc. She doesn't feel the same when we take her shopping though.

    She also constantly asks permission for the simplest of things too, we have just gotten used to this over the months. What is a bit disconcerting now is that she confuses my husband (her son) with her ex-husband and asks us if we remember events, people, places in the 50's, 60's etc. I am not sure where I fit in but she has asked if I will be her mother!

    Our approach is the line of least resistance, reassuring and in the main going along with memories etc. It often helps having the children to act as a distraction.

    I think this lack of recognition of surroundings is very common and I am sure you will get lots of replies.

    Best wishes
     
  3. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    When my mother came out of hospital last November it took her ages to recognize and remember places and things, every morning started with "where am I?" and she told a cousin on the phone she was in Lila's house, and asked permission to sit on certain chairs etc. However when after a lot of reminders and reassurance she remembered it was her house, and all the furniture etc. was hers, she went to the other extreme, ultra-territorial, which was even more difficult to manage.

    Lila
     
  4. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    Yes

    My Mother claims all the writing in her diary is not hers

    But walks around with her handbag tight under her arm saying your not having it

    You steal things
     
  5. candymostdandy@

    candymostdandy@ Registered User

    May 12, 2006
    81
    west sussex
    my mum

    My mumis 85and lived with me sice January this year:-

    she asks me to help her get home before it gets dark, (she only has to go from my lounge, through my kitchen and then shes "home".

    will ask which way her room is, or where is she to sleep tonight, apparently she has never stayed before.

    will ask me to accompany her to the bathroom, which she doesn't remember and only used a couple of hours before.


    Mum's favourite at the moment is that everyday she thinks must be a feast day, the questions several times through out the day are:, "have I got money for the kids for presents", when I ask why her reply is "well its xmas, or is it Easter",

    well the grandchildren would be doing very well and very pleased if she doles out money to them everytime she thought it was a feast day.

    She is also obsessed with sweeping, especially at the moment she can't stand the leaves on the grass, but the contradiction is that she will be complaining about the pains in her leg, arms, head or wherever the pain takes her at that moment, but within minutes she is looking for a broom to go out and sweep the garden.

    When I remind her that she's been complaining about pains, and so I don't think she should be out in the rain sweeping the garden, she totally contradicts herself and says that there is nothing wrong with her, and whats a little bit of pain anyway.

    My husband and I cut the hedges down last weekend, she insisted on "helping", and spent hours sweeping up after us, well she then spent the rest of the week complaing about her aches and pains and how she cant lift her arms up - she's 85 what does she expect.
     
  6. Lonestray

    Lonestray Registered User

    Aug 3, 2006
    236
    Hereford
    Regression

    Hi there, I'm in the fortunate position of caring for my wife she's 72 and I'm 75. About six years ago my wife was scared of being late for school! Things were different in our day, not like now I don't suppose you get beaten for being late. Although we lived in our last house 25 years she still kept trying to go home to Co. Durham. Having lived and cared for my wife for more than 11 yrs, I always talk to her about her childhood and friends. If you ask your Mom about her home and family of more than 50yrs ago you may find both of you become closer. It's not surprising as you get older to see a husband, wife, Mother, or Dad in the faces of offsprings, so why should it be odd if an AD sufferer slips up on that score. Just go with the flow and agree with the way she sees the world. When I first invited my wife to visit the local Alzheimer's society she flat refused to enter the building. I later discovered why, she told me: "Your trying to put me away!" Try to imagine the fear she felt, in our day there were no NH for people with Alz.
    Some older folk might shed light on what happened 50, 60 years ago. A lot can be learned by talking to older relatives, thereby understanding their fears. I wish you well and God bless. Padraig
     
  7. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hello bella,

    my mum is behaving exactly the same at the moment, she's in a EMI hospital but we do bring her "home" for a weekend now and then, she was at home last monday when my dad phoned to say your mum wants to go home now, she totally didnt recognise the house as hers so at 9.15pm i put her into my car to take her home went around the block a few times and ended up back at her house she went in with my dad as if nothing had happened.
    she even wants my dad to put coal on the fire (its gas!!) it seems she's going back to another time in her mind quite a few years ago, it is very hard to deal with as theres no way of explaining that she is home, wish you all the best with this.
    take care xx
     
  8. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I also remember my mother asking me if it was ok to eat this, do that , can I sleep .even take food out of the freezer to eat , right confusion going on in her brain , but since she started to take medication for AZ, it all stop .


    My mother diabetic, she now snicks in to the fridge and eats the yogurts , crisp and says I know I am not meant to eat them :)
     
  9. bella

    bella Registered User

    Oct 2, 2006
    2
    All in the same boat.

    :)
    Thankyou for your kind words it really does help to know there is other people in the same boat .Take care.:)
     

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