Mum not eating

[SRM1956]

Hi,

I posted in here recently as my mum was in hospital and rather distressed.

She's home now and considering everything that has happened is relatively settled. Hospital are providing 4 care visits a day for 6 weeks with support from me as well.

The carers have said mum is doing well except that she isn't eating.

Her appetite has been decreasing for the last 12 months but she hasn't eaten properly since her heart attack in September but seems to be eating even less now.

She says she feels sick and not hungry. When trying to eat she often heaves.

She has been diagnosed with severe heart failure and I think this is the root of the problem along with her vascular dementia.

Carers said to get her the special drinks from the Dr. The only thing is, I don't understand why she wasn't on them in hospital. I used to regularly see other patients with them but never her.

She is fairly sedentary so I wonder how much energy she needs. I don't want to force her to eat food if she doesn't want it. The not eating thing seems to be fairly common.

 

[Bunpoots]

Hi @SRM1956

Yes not eating is quite common. We went through this with my mum - although she would always eat chocolate!

Have you asked for a referral to the SALT team who can assess the reason for her having difficulty with eating. Perhaps in the meantime something like smooth soup or yogurt might be acceptable.

The special drinks you saw in hospital have to be prescribed for each patient but I don’t know why the doctor thought them not necessary for your mum. My doctor suggested that something like slimfast mixed with whole milk is a reasonable alternative and tastes quite nice.

 

[GillP]

Also milk shakes made with mixture of full fat milk and double cream were used in husbands care home. I do think you need referral to Salt team and dietary advice. How are we supposed to know these things?

 

[Angel55]

Hi,

I posted in here recently as my mum was in hospital and rather distressed.

She's home now and considering everything that has happened is relatively settled. Hospital are providing 4 care visits a day for 6 weeks with support from me as well.

The carers have said mum is doing well except that she isn't eating.

Her appetite has been decreasing for the last 12 months but she hasn't eaten properly since her heart attack in September but seems to be eating even less now.

She says she feels sick and not hungry. When trying to eat she often heaves.

She has been diagnosed with severe heart failure and I think this is the root of the problem along with her vascular dementia.

Carers said to get her the special drinks from the Dr. The only thing is, I don't understand why she wasn't on them in hospital. I used to regularly see other patients with them but never her.

She is fairly sedentary so I wonder how much energy she needs. I don't want to force her to eat food if she doesn't want it. The not eating thing seems to be fairly common.

Hello 💗

There are drinks that can only be prescribed by a doctor however there are also things like complan or similar. It was once suggested to me that you can also add skimmed milk powder which has the fortified vitamins in to full fat milky drinks to bulk out the calories. I never did get around to that but we always made full fat milky drinks something that Dad enjoyed and still does to be fair. You can do the same with milkshakes add in full fat ice cream and cream and flavour them as well.

I agree with the advice of others though and to make the referral to be sure there is nothing else going on as well.

 

[SRM1956]

Thanks for the advice. I've never heard of the salt team. I can put on my list of things for the Dr. I guess in the meantime I can get some slimfast type shakes and soups the carers can give her. I noticed her new trousers bought in August that fitted just right now fall down as she's walking. No one has ever mentioned the not eating thing before. I suppose it's only obvious to me how much weight she has lost.

 

[SRM1956]

Hello, everyone. I'm really glad to have found this forum as I have no other support at all.

So we got the fortisip drinks from the Dr but carers and I all noticed mum seemed to have declined in the last week.

I thought it might be another UTI but mum felt so ill she called 999 and they took her to A&E for checks.

I had a long chat with the very pragmatic Dr who said they couldn't find any infection or stroke. Her view was that mum was moving into late stage as she barely eats and hardly moves from the sofa.

It does make sense but mum can still engage and do a few things for herself which I thought wasn't late stage.

The carer suggested the feeling sick and heaving when she's eating might actually be the beginning of swallowing problems. I thought it was due to congestion because of her heart failure. Does the heaving sound like the beginning of swallowing difficulties. I have absolutely no reference points. Should I be thinking of just a soft food diet. Mum always asks for a sandwich for lunch and then maybe has 2 or 3 bites.

Drinks wise she survives on cups of tea (always has) but I've noticed this last week they are only half drunk or sometimes completely left.

She does like a daily glass of sherry. I've taken the bottle away but she keeps asking for it. Is alcohol a complete no no? She has so few pleasures in life now, I feel awful removing this from her.

 

[SRM1956]

I've given her the sherry back. Fingers crossed it's ok

 

[Banjomansmate]

I've given her the sherry back. Fingers crossed it's ok

👍

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @SRM1956, my mum's first care home seemed to run on sherry. It was a ritual that before lunch the trolley came round with sherry for those whose medication allowed it and soft drinks for those that couldn't have it. I think a small glass of sherry or wine won't do any harm, my mum certainly seemed to enjoy it. The only downside with mum seemed to be making her more unsteady on her feet more quickly than it would have done pre-dementia, so that is something to look out for. As her dementia progressed she didn't seem interested in alcohol any more though she was still keen on tea right up to the end.

 

[SRM1956]

Hi @SRM1956, my mum's first care home seemed to run on sherry. It was a ritual that before lunch the trolley came round with sherry for those whose medication allowed it and soft drinks for those that couldn't have it. I think a small glass of sherry or wine won't do any harm, my mum certainly seemed to enjoy it. The only downside with mum seemed to be making her more unsteady on her feet more quickly than it would have done pre-dementia, so that is something to look out for. As her dementia progressed she didn't seem interested in alcohol any more though she was still keen on tea right up to the end.

Oh that's good to hear.

 

[Angel55]

Hello, everyone. I'm really glad to have found this forum as I have no other support at all.

So we got the fortisip drinks from the Dr but carers and I all noticed mum seemed to have declined in the last week.

I thought it might be another UTI but mum felt so ill she called 999 and they took her to A&E for checks.

I had a long chat with the very pragmatic Dr who said they couldn't find any infection or stroke. Her view was that mum was moving into late stage as she barely eats and hardly moves from the sofa.

It does make sense but mum can still engage and do a few things for herself which I thought wasn't late stage.

The carer suggested the feeling sick and heaving when she's eating might actually be the beginning of swallowing problems. I thought it was due to congestion because of her heart failure. Does the heaving sound like the beginning of swallowing difficulties. I have absolutely no reference points. Should I be thinking of just a soft food diet. Mum always asks for a sandwich for lunch and then maybe has 2 or 3 bites.

Drinks wise she survives on cups of tea (always has) but I've noticed this last week they are only half drunk or sometimes completely left.

She does like a daily glass of sherry. I've taken the bottle away but she keeps asking for it. Is alcohol a complete no no? She has so few pleasures in life now, I feel awful removing this from her.

Hello 💗

Exactly a few small pleasures remain for someone so as long as it isn't causing a problem or becoming a problem I cannot see any harm in it.

When we go to visit Dad there is a little afternoon tipple in the residential home offered sometimes. Dad did have very small sherry and I joined him even though I don't drink and Dad has never had sherry either .

Bless you I hope today will be kind to you.

 

[sheepfield]

Hello!
I just wanted to add that the SALT team is to do with speech and language but they also do swallowing! My family member has acid reflux and sometimes has difficulty getting their words out, they seem to get stuck in their throat. I'm now wondering if it's the start of dementia too.
My family member also appears thinner, perhaps due to losing muscle tone from being less mobile due to other issues. But also forgetting to eat, losing interest in food etc. They made me a cuppa with cold water the other day, they still want to try to do things for themselves and be hospitable. So perhaps they are also struggling with drinking enough if they are making themselves unappetising cold cuppas.
I hope that you can find something suitable soon. I used to work as a home help and one of my customers enjoyed cheese and crackers whilst another's favourite was ice cream. My family member seems to like soup, jam sandwiches and lots of cake.

 

[SRM1956]

Thanks for the info. On the drinking, I think she makes a cup tea but then forgets and then it goes cold and is then unappetising. Unfortunately, my mother has always subsisted on tea so I don't think I can change that habit now.

That's interesting, my mother also has chronic accident reflux and was diagnosed with Barrett's Esophagus.

I'm hoping the SALT team is self referral. I had a quick look yesterday.

We have a new social worker who has given me the district nurses numbers directly so I can cut out the nightmare surgery to arrange via the GP.

 

[sheepfield]

I hope that the referral is easy too. I got the telephone number of the district nurses when I was permitted in the inner sanctum of my relative's GP surgery just in case as they might be more easily got hold of and do referrals more speedily if needed rather than going via the GP. My relative's GP surgery have told me off for telling them my concerns about her saying it's to do with data protection.
My family member has biscuits or cake with every cuppa. At one stage they were prediabetic but it's the habit of a lifetime and hard to change. Today my biscuits were on a mucky plate but I'm not sure if that's the confusion or they literally can't see that things are dirty or both.