Mum keeps going to post office taking money out

[holiss]

Hi all, my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers earlier this year. Mum doesn't think there is anything wrong with her, and I try to keep things as normal as possible. She is still going about her usual morning routine of going out to have breakfast, and whilst out I think on a number of days goes to the post office.

She has a fixation on her money, which isn't really new. she likes to hold on to it and spends minimally. She has never been that great with managing her finances, and luckily her bills are all getting paid, though she doesn't seem to realise what she is even paying for by Direct Debit. She hides letters and bank statements, from looking at recent statement I found, I can see that she appears to be overdrawn more often than not. She has a small overdraft of £100, which I think has been covering the Direct Debits so nothing has flagged up because she has money often going in.

She frequently goes to the post office, to check her balance and if there is money there she will take it ALL out as much as is available to her. The post office is not her main place of banking. I worry for her safety and vulnerability carrying cash in large amounts, and despite agreeing for me to accompany her once a week, that hasn't quite worked out as she will still go before me or after me on another day. The other concern is where she puts the money she takes out. She is putting it somewhere she probably considers safe and I am worried that it could be in a random, odd place and one she may well forget about. I've tried to share my concerns with her, and I don't want her to think I am after her money, but I don't think she really gets it.

I guess I'm wondering what to do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks

Hol

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @holiss What you are describing is quite common in people with dementia and as you say it is quite possible that your mum has the money stashed away in a ‘safe place’ or even more than one safe place. She may even have forgotten where those safe places are. Members on here have found money in the strangest of places.. You could try speaking to the Post Office staff about the issue but unless you have a POA in place they are not likely to take action. If your mum has capacity it would be a good idea to get a POA sorted as soon as possible.
In the meantime all you can do is to try to talk to your mum again about lifting too much money from her account and also try to find out where her ‘hiding’ places are as it’s not good to have too much money in the house.

 

[holiss]

Thanks for your reply. POA has been sorted recently, so I could speak to the Post Office and maybe the bank, any ideas on what they are likely to do or suggest?

 

[Jessbow]

Will the post office let her have more than her balance? If not, id set up a standing order , leaving only say £100 in her PO account, and top it back up monthly

The post office and the bank cannot do anything to pervent a person withdrawing their own money.
Taking th POA to both with you may mean they wont give her anything, - only you as her POA.

You need to strike a balence somehow

 

[Cardinal]

My mom was an expert at hiding money. We found huge amounts of money hidden in her house. We found money in the vacuum cleaner bag, underneath the cereal in the cereal box, wrapped with frozen meat in the freezer, in the hems of curtains and coats. Nothing could be thrown away until we carefully examined it.

It sounds like your mom may be hiding money in the house. Just to be safe until you know she’s not hiding money with the trash you might want to offer to take her trash out for her, then take it home and check to make sure there’s no money with the trash.

I know it sounds strange but in my mom’s head she was worried that the bank would fail and she would lose her money. Then she was worried that someone would break into her house. She tried to find places to hide the money that a robber wouldn’t look.

If you have POA talk to the bank and see if you can open a second account in her name and transfer some money each month to that account so she can’t withdraw all her money and then hide it in her house.

 

[holiss]

Thank you for your replies, very helpful.

 

[Elle3]

My dad had an obsession with money and going to the bank on a daily basis. He often would withdraw £1000 from his account and keep it in his wallet. Then go the next day and withdraw more. He would hide money in very strange places around his home and then totally forget about it. He would also hide his wallet too, which could be lost for days/weeks but would suddenly just turn up again. It was like playing a constant game of hide and seek, which more often than not, I failed at.

This was all getting very worrying, more for his safety than anything else. Fortunately the bank staff knew my dad well and when I spoke to them about my dad having dementia, I asked them to limit how much he withdrew, ie. £30 and to give it to him in small denominations , ie all in £5 notes, so he still thought he was getting a lot. I also stopped bank statements being posted out to him as these seem to act as a reminder to him to go and get more money. Also, if I found money in his home, I took it and payed it back into his account.

If you have power of attorney for finance you could speak to your mums bank and ask them to put a daily spending/withdrawal limit on her account.