Mum is believing she’s already washed and refusing to let us help her

[Del2509]

Hi everyone

My mum has Alzheimer’s and is totally incontinent, the problem is she is in total denial that she has dementia at all and thinks she doesn’t need help at all!

She is now thinking she’s having a shower each morning which she obviously needs after wearing her ‘nappy’ all night but she’s not and is smelling.

Me & my sister are trying to shower her but she is physically fighting us and screaming!

We are at a stage where we feel we need outside help but reluctant to get a nurse or a carer involved if she is going to react the way she does!

Has anyone else had experience of this?

We don’t know what to do next?

Any help appreciated x

Thank you

 

[Collywobbles]

Oddly, sometimes folks find that there’s actually a better reaction to a stranger in more official medical/carer clothing. “The doctor says you need extra care” sometimes goes a long way to encouraging compliance with things that family can’t achieve.

 

[Jools1402]

Most professional carers wear a uniform and it's often quite easy to call them a nurse. The older generation were taught to respect doctors and nurses and will often, as Collywobbles has said, respond much better. Let's face it - who would want to be showered by their children? Not me for sure. You could try it and see.

 

[Kristo]

Agree, my dad was exactly the same, my mum insisted that he bath at least once a week and it was a whole-day event. Since moving into a care home he allows the “nurses” to help him every day with personal care without batting an eyelid. Maybe give carers a try, you never know until you try. Good luck!

 

[Blissy]

I have problems with my husband who doesn't t want to wash. No way could I get him in the shower. I do manage to wash nether regions and change disposable pants at night by telling him the Doctor said he must to stop infection. He is not actually incontinent but does have a bit of soiling at times so if needed during the day I use a disposable wipe when changing him. He does object but we get there. Once a week I manage to wash the top half of his body, again he objects and it has to be done quickly. Legs and feet get done another day and every other day is a shave. It has been said on here, and I would agree, is that they develop a fear or dislike of water. It is not essential to bath or shower and your Mum may accept a strip wash instead. There are also no rinse foams available which at times I have found very useful. Perhaps give this a go before going down the route of getting carers in.