Mum has dementia

[Creck]

Hi all,
My Dad has recently passed - funeral was on Monday. My mum needs 24/7 care. She isn’t in any way violent, doesn’t try and go outside and very happy at home but needs 24/7 care due to some eyesight loss and the dementia/confusion. My mums wishes have been to always stay at home unless she was at risk of harm to herself or others. I have been caring for my mum and dad over the years but my dad was mums main carer.
My three siblings who had little to do with mum and dad arrived on the scene more when dad became unwell. They got mum to sign a lasting power of attorney when I felt she lacked capacity- scoring 1/30 on her ACE assessment. They have completely taken over, so much so that they have planned and provisionally booked a home for mum and plan to take her there in a week. Mum is very distressed and upset about this and so am I as this isn’t mums wishes. They are saying they have no choice but to put mum in a home because there isn’t enough money to pay for her care at home.
Can I ask advice on how this works financially - if it’s at all possible that mum can be cared for at home then when mum passes and the house is sold, that money will pay for her care costs?

Many thanks in advance

Clair

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to the forum @Creck

I’m afraid your siblings are probably right about having no choice if your mum needs 24/7 care unless she has the money to pay for her care without needing to sell her house. SS won’t fund more than 4 visits a day if they are paying. I’ve never heard of a council allowing care funding to be paid back for months or years of care from a property sold after death.

Most people with dementia don’t understand how much care they need and definitely prefer to stick with the familiar but a carehome isn’t all bad. I didn’t think my dad would settle in a carehome but he did. He had his own things in his own room and could join in as much or as little as he wanted with the activities.

 

[Violet Jane]

Are you prepared to be your mother’s full time carer? If not, then the options are live-in care and a care home. LAs will not fund live-in care and so your mother would need to fund this herself out of her income and savings. Live-in care may work out more expensive overall than a care home but this will depend on various factors. I’ve never heard of a LA entering into a deferred payment scheme for live-in care.