Caring for my 92 year old mother-in-law

[esq]

Hello,

I am new here and hope that some of you can give me some advice. Me and my husband moved in with my parents-in-laws two years ago as we could see they needed help. Last September my Father-in law sadly passed away at the age of 93. So we are now caring for my 92 year old Mother-in-Law.
This has not been easy and it really is getting harder by the day.

She just seems to live in her own world. Every day she is emptying her draws with clothes and putting things back (not always in the same place) because of this she can't remember where she puts her stuff.
Her memory is really bad, like this morning I told her that her Grandson was coming over today and when she turned around she came back to me and asked me who was coming over. she has no idea what day of the week it is. She has a calendar that she can turn but she adjust it around 3 pm so later in the day she is still confused what day of the week it is. Sometimes she turns it backwards so she is lost again.
As her husband has always done everything for her she doesn't understand easy things like remote control of TV, Phone, Cooking Utilities, Washing Machine, Coffee Machine etc. This means that we have to sort all those things for her. It is not a problem don't get me wrong.
More our concern is that she really has no interest in anything, I have tried to do some coloring with her but that there is really nothing she enjoys except chatting to people. Unfortunately I have to work fulltime and my husband is also working fulltime but from home to be around looking after her.
We finally managed (after 4 attempts) to get her in contact with a local coordinator who arranged for her to go to a coffee morning once a week. Once per month she goes to the same club for lunch. She really enjoys this as she can be chatting away to people. Other days of the week she sits in her chair and looks at the TV, we are not even sure she is watching! We know she is bored but if we suggest anything else like reading some magazines or so the answer is NO.

We just want to see her a bit happier but at the moment me and my husband are a bit stuck what to do and how to deal with this. She has not been diagnosed with dementia but I don't think her memory loss all related to her age.
I anyone has got some advice, please let us know

Regards,

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @esq.

I'm so sorry to read about your MIL. It does sound as if you need to get a formal diagnosis. If she is diagnosed with dementia this might open up the possibilities of support for her. Perhaps these links would be of help -

Dementia diagnosis

Find out how to get a dementia diagnosis and why it can help you access the right support. Diagnosis stages are different for everyone and we can offer advice and a symptoms checklist to help you speak to your doctor.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

Diagnosing dementia: A practical guide to assessment

Diagnosing dementia: A practical guide to assessment is a booklet for anyone worried about possible signs of dementia, including memory problems, for themself or someone else. It sets out clearly how dementia can be diagnosed.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Gosling]

Hello and welcome from me also @esq to this friendly and supportive forum.

I am sorry to read about your MIL. I agree with the advice @Izzy has already given. It does sound as though you would be wise to try to get a diagnosis.
I hope you will find this forum a good place for sound advice, suggestions and simply a place to say how you're feeling if you want to. A lot of people say it helps just putting things down on here. It's a safe space to do that, and people here understand and want to help.