Moving LA funded Dad 250miles away

[ShivyDevon]

My dad is 77 and has had vascular dementia for 14 years following a stroke. He lives with my mum in the South East of England and I live in the South West.

My mum has 1 carer a day coming in mainly to change his pants has he's incontinent and his mobility is declining. He's had 2 periods of respite care as mum struggles and we're hoping he will get some more in 2024. Mum is currently resisting more carers coming in.

Dad is very placid, sits and watches TV, is quiet, talks very little, can eat himself but needs help with dressing, food prep, personal care etc. He wakes a lot in the night but doesn't wonder out the house. He can be left for a few hours and mum has cameras.

Mum's thoughts on caring for dad can vary depending on how difficult things are. I have LPA for health and welfare alongside my mum and dad's nephew. Mum's latest position is when dad does need to go into care long term she will not visit him as she really struggles with the care homes and basically they will never meet her expectations of care and can be very stressful for her.

As I live over 250miles away, I would find this very sad and so would want to perhaps have dad move into a home near to me. He does not have savings or assets over the threshold and parents live in a council flat.

How would moving him to a care home near to where I live work? How would the funding assessments work? It may never happen but I would like to have a better idea just in case it did.

Thanks in advance

 

[Jessbow]

I very much doubt that your mother really means it- its a reason to keep him out of care from her perspective.
The practicalities will depend on if the area he is moving from will fund the care where you want him ( cost).
Not all authorities will, and would take your mothers views on location into account

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @ShivyDevon Welcome.

My husband and I moved from the north west to the south east to be nearer our son. My husband didn`t have a diagnosis but he did have worrying behaviours and I knew some family support would be helpful.

Once we had a diagnosis three years after moving, we had no problem getting support.

You could approach your own LA and ask their advice, saying you are hoping to provide more local support for both parents.

 

[ShivyDevon]

thank you @Jessbow - I am 80% sure she doesn't mean it but I know my mum and she can be a stubborn individual. That said if he does go into a care home at some point, there will be very little left for her in the area she currently lives as she gets older (1 friend, no family there) so may want to move to be closer to me which will mean a council transfer for her and care home for him.

Would the cost always have to be met by the originating authority?

Thanks

 

[ShivyDevon]

Hello @ShivyDevon Welcome.

My husband and I moved from the north west to the south east to be nearer our son. My husband didn`t have a diagnosis but he did have worrying behaviours and I knew some family support would be helpful.

Once we had a diagnosis three years after moving, we had no problem getting support.

You could approach your own LA and ask their advice, saying you are hoping to provide more local support for both parents.

Thank you @Grannie G thats a good idea. Not sure where to start with our local authority - contact details always so mysterious and convoluted. Thanks for the suggestion

 

[Grannie G]

Not sure where to start with our local authority

Perhaps Adult Social Services.

Social care and support guide

If you or someone you know needs help with day-to-day living because of illness or disability, this website explains your options and where you can get support.

www.nhs.uk