I thought an update would be in order
mom is now in a smaller nursing home. we moved her last week and as expected she wasnt happy about it. she kept saying she wasnt consulted, she didnt like the deceit and was about to start lashing out so we left quickly. i havent had the courage to visit since. i will be going later today, i called ahead and they warned me she was still asleep cos she hadnt had a good night, up walking and angry at anyone asking to assist her...
about 6 weeks before leaving her old care home, they called me to say that there had been a report from a visiting relative that my mother was roughly handled by 3 carers. they told me theyd look into it and get abck to me, i was upset by this and waited even though mom was due to leave anyway. i emailed the lady back 2 weeks ago and no response, radio silence. i dont know if theres anything to gain by chasing this, do i escalate and ask for a manager to look into this, leave it since mom has now moved out? theres still a lot to sort out and not sure i can face chasing this, but ill give myself time to work it out.
the new nursing home seems nice, the manager is also a nurse and she seems much MUCH kinder than any of the nurses in the old home (only one Filipino one seemd nice, the other two i regularly saw walking around were downright horrible and uncaring, mom did not like them) its smaller and quite a timewarp decor wise, but everyone there looked well fed, well looked after, well turned out with nice hair and clean clothes and seemed happy. there was a couple of residents walking around, one was clearly the lovely clown and all the nurses love him, mom being a natural teacher's pet will probably clash with him but i will discuss that with the manager soon.
the home is farther away but the social worker seemed to think that mom would flourish in a small home and i agreed. i guess it will take her a couple of months ot settle into it, in the meantime i have to battle to go visit, this last year has been horrible for my mental health and find it harder and harder to visit, to see the anguish and decline, its selfish of me but im trying to be kind to myself and allow me to be scared and saddend by my mothers condition.
for me, almost always, it goes back to the anger felt by the lack of resources for those suffering from alzheimers and their loved ones.