For several months my MIL has been asking for large sums of cash on a weekly basis. This was £100 although we have more recently dropped it to £50. This money just seems to disappear.
It is not used for shopping or bills which we organise. It may partly be cigarettes bought outside of the main shop (my MIL tries to hide how much she is smoking from us and maintains she doesn't smoke). There are also twice daily trips to the shop for newspapers and magazines and sweets. There are constant cries that she has no money and each time her purse is displayed it contains only bronze coins. £50 disappeared in two days at the weekend and yesterday she went to the cash point and asked a complete stranger to withdraw money for her. As the morning carer testified that she had £50 and her bank card (and PIN) in her purse it seems that this time it was a good samaritan.
I think we have reached the stage where my MIL cannot control her own money. She certainly cannot use her bank card as a debit card or to withdraw money - she says her PIN aloud and asks if it is right. But where do we go from here? We can only be around at the weekend apart from emergencies. To be honest the burden of care is really beginning to impact hugely on our family life to the extent that I am beginning to resent the time we spend with her and her increasing neediness. Any more than we already do seems intolerable right now.
Any ideas about how to deal with money would be welcomed. Basically we have already set up DD's for everything but utilities. Quarterly bills are paid by cheque which is becoming a bit of an issue but still manegable with lots of prompting for her signature. It is managing cash that is the problem. We did get a solicitor to organise welfare and financial POA a few months ago but we have never received any paperwork. My thoughts were that we should get our names added to my MIL's bank account to enable us legally to withdraw cash. We would then take away my MIL's bank card and give her seperate "pots" of money to use at the local shop for newspapers, sweeties (huge amounts), extra cigarettes etc. We would ask the carers to provide receipts for any purchases they made with maybe a notebook to jot things down.
Does this sound workable or does anyone have better suggestions that work for them? In the last week we have had another set of lost keys to cope with and I do feel that things are running away from us at the moment.
It is not used for shopping or bills which we organise. It may partly be cigarettes bought outside of the main shop (my MIL tries to hide how much she is smoking from us and maintains she doesn't smoke). There are also twice daily trips to the shop for newspapers and magazines and sweets. There are constant cries that she has no money and each time her purse is displayed it contains only bronze coins. £50 disappeared in two days at the weekend and yesterday she went to the cash point and asked a complete stranger to withdraw money for her. As the morning carer testified that she had £50 and her bank card (and PIN) in her purse it seems that this time it was a good samaritan.
I think we have reached the stage where my MIL cannot control her own money. She certainly cannot use her bank card as a debit card or to withdraw money - she says her PIN aloud and asks if it is right. But where do we go from here? We can only be around at the weekend apart from emergencies. To be honest the burden of care is really beginning to impact hugely on our family life to the extent that I am beginning to resent the time we spend with her and her increasing neediness. Any more than we already do seems intolerable right now.
Any ideas about how to deal with money would be welcomed. Basically we have already set up DD's for everything but utilities. Quarterly bills are paid by cheque which is becoming a bit of an issue but still manegable with lots of prompting for her signature. It is managing cash that is the problem. We did get a solicitor to organise welfare and financial POA a few months ago but we have never received any paperwork. My thoughts were that we should get our names added to my MIL's bank account to enable us legally to withdraw cash. We would then take away my MIL's bank card and give her seperate "pots" of money to use at the local shop for newspapers, sweeties (huge amounts), extra cigarettes etc. We would ask the carers to provide receipts for any purchases they made with maybe a notebook to jot things down.
Does this sound workable or does anyone have better suggestions that work for them? In the last week we have had another set of lost keys to cope with and I do feel that things are running away from us at the moment.