Mom thinks I am dead

[CeliaThePoet]

My mother's old work friend (her only visitor except my partner and me) called this evening to let me know Mom had called her to announce that I was dead. (She has not called me with this news, which is new; she calls me about anything, usually.)

Calling to tell her otherwise seems a bit shocking as well as futile. I plan to visit Saturday as I always do. Thoughts?

 

[fizzie]

Hi there, sometimes my Mum used to come out with really strange things like this when she had a Urinary infection or when she had just woken from a deep sleep.
My advice would be not to call her to tell her otherwise because she may well have forgotten all about it but just in case it is preying on her mind then I would probably give her a ring on the pretext of something else - maybe ask her if there is anything particular she would like you to bring. Just to reassure her that you are there without actually saying anything.

It could have been triggered by anything or nothing - perhaps an infection, perhaps she has been worried about something or about you for some reason and it has played on her mind, or it might be that someone else's daughter has died and she's had a time lapse. Just reassurance without reinforcing it unless she brings it up.

Hope all is well tomorrow xx

 

[Beate]

Gosh, that reminds me. My grandad who was in his nineties at the time (he made it to a 100) and did not have dementia but did have some age-related confusion, rang my aunt one morning to tell her that her sister - my mother - had died. Apparently someone had called him to tell him. So my aunt called my mother but couldn't reach her. Next, she thought it was a good idea to worry us also so rang us in London. We could do nothing but try my mother's phone over and over. She eventually answered and asked what all the fuss was about - didn't we know she goes to the market every Saturday morning? I didn't blame my grandad but I was quite angry at my aunt for worrying us unduly! And my Mum called grandad and said "Hi, I'm alive!" We can laugh about it now. He probably just had a bad dream.

 

[Onlyme]

Mum went through a period of me being dead every day. The home used to ring me to tell me so I could talk to Mum to reassure her I was alive. I think I died every day for about 10 days after which I only died every week or so.

I put it down to Mum not remembering where I was, why hadn't she seen me for years (l saw her at least twice a week), if I hadn't seen her something must be stopping me so I must be dead.

 

[CeliaThePoet]

Mom still thinks I am dead many days, or escaped to Africa to evade debt, or something. She does still call to find out if I am on the run or alive, so I suppose even she doesn't fully believe it. I guess there are worse problems to have; I am lately just feeling so tired of this set of issues, going on 7 years of being the only child caregiver, I'm afraid.