1. johnpatcarl

    johnpatcarl Registered User

    For some time now my wife has been talking to the mirror she does not recognise herself, on the whole it is not much of a problem but just lately she gets a bit angry when she accuses her image of following her, it is no good taking the mirrors away because she sees her reflection in the windows do i just forget it or has anyone got any ideas?. Also she is a laryngectomee (neckbreather) and i have to look after her stoma if i am ill is she entitled to have someone to look after it for it goes without saying she can not do it for herself weould welcome any sugestions
     
  2. Jo1958

    Jo1958 Registered User

    Mar 31, 2010
    3,724
    Yorkshire
    John, hi
    Have you had a carers assessment from your local Social Services, because if so they should have information about carers who can help if you are ill. I have had one and have filled in a form with all the details of looking after hubby, medication taking, times, meals, activities, routines, help needed at bedtime and getting up and dressed, all the things that make his days go well. This is stored centrally and I have a number in my purse that will give anyone access to it if I have an accident or whatever. There is information about who has a spare key to the house and basics about how the heating, etc. work. Having this as a justincase has given both of us great peace of mind, we hope we never need it but it's nice to have it there.

    I have no experience of problems with mirrors but I know some other people have and hope they will be along later.

    There is a lot of help and support out there and I hope you find some that suits your needs, I look forward to hearing how you get on.
    With best wishes from Jo
     
  3. Christin

    Christin Registered User

    Jun 29, 2009
    5,038
    Somerset
    Hello and welcome to TP. I feel sure you must be entitled to some help, hopefully before you even become ill! You are entitled to a carer's assessment, and I think this can be arranged through several different agencies, for us it was through SS. You should also be entitled to a support worker, to support you as a carer!

    We have had some experience here with mirrors, and also windows reflecting after dark. At first we didn't really pick up on it, FIL would ask who all the people were and we realised after a while that it was our reflections he was seeing. He was never worried by them though. It was his own reflection in the darkness of the window that frightened him, he thought people were outside trying to get in. So sad. We tried to cover the windows etc but he would keep going to check. The only answer we found was distraction.

    Good luck to you. I hope you get some help very soon. xx
     
  4. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    I have seen the mirror reflection reaction in the care home my husband is in. One lady spends a long time chatting to her reflection in a mirror on the corridor. It doesn't seem to cause her any distress and seems to give her comfort.

    If there are bad reactions to mirrors I would try removing them for a short period of time. When you eventually replace them she may have passed on to another stage and not be worried by them any longer. The only thing I can suggest for the windows is drawing curtains as soon as it gets dark or putting up net curtains. I have vertical blinds and can adjust them easily without losing light during the day to avoid reflections.

    One more manifestation of this awful illness which we have to deal with.

    xxTinaT
     
  5. seaurchin

    seaurchin Registered User

    Oct 24, 2009
    164
    #5 seaurchin, Jan 25, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2011
    Hi,

    My husband sees his reflection in mirrors and windows after dark and then seems to think I have another man in the house. Tricky situation as I don't want to make him feel silly for making the mistake but equally don't want him to think I have another man :eek: We have built in mirrored wardrobes which are hard to cover so I rush him past them!! He also speaks to his reflection at times so maybe it is a situation that is more common than I thought.

    Many thanks xx
     
  6. susiewoo

    susiewoo Registered User

    Oct 28, 2006
    82
    Bromley Kent
    My Mum has moved to a new home and it has a very posh lift with one wall a mirror. Mum always has a lovely chat with the woman in the lift and smiles and laughs with her. She has no idea it is her relection and it lifts my spirits to see how well Mum can still use her 'polite voice' Sometimes it takes a little effort to get Mum out of the lift!
     
  7. johnpatcarl

    johnpatcarl Registered User

    hi christin i know about the emergency card i should have filled it in to my shame three years ago when i recieved it after my wife was assessed, i am managing very well at the moment of course my big fear is if my health fails i apprecite your kind words i will definately get another card thanks xx
     
  8. johnpatcarl

    johnpatcarl Registered User

    hi it looks as if we are both in the same boat thank you nice to know i am not on my own i mean that in the best possible way
     
  9. johnpatcarl

    johnpatcarl Registered User

    thanks to all who have replied it is greatly apprecated
     

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