Men's Problems

Del24

Registered User
Aug 17, 2014
67
Hertfordshire
I always look on this site for help and advice to look after my wife.
Most times I find answers to my problems but just recently all I can find is threads about man problems such as posts about male body parts, male bodily functions and male sexual activities.
Why are their no equivalent post about females.
Because it would not be allowed to be posted by the adjudicator.
Is this sexism?
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,378
Kent
I think it might be because no one has asked , but also because the majority of carers who come to this site are women.
 
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lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,320
East Kent
I always look on this site for help and advice to look after my wife.
Most times I find answers to my problems but just recently all I can find is threads about man problems such as posts about male body parts, male bodily functions and male sexual activities.
Why are their no equivalent post about females.
Because it would not be allowed to be posted by the adjudicator.
Is this sexism?
IMO we can discuss anything on here. Tbh I've always found it easier to ask rather than trawl through lots of posts.
Yes sometimes it can be embarrassing to ask certain questions, but whatever it is and can think of several things it might be, it is obviously causing you problems/ worries so please bite the bullet and ask.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,835
London
Why don't you just ask your question instead of accusing the board of censorship and sexism without any proof? If you don't want to ask your question, maybe it's the same for other men who are too embarrassed to ask!
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
There are frequent posts from members concerned about mothers or mothers-in-law and other female relatives.

Eating, drinking and continence problems are well covered -- maybe you have been looking in just 'I have a partner with dementia' , in which case I would suggest you also look at the other sub-forums, like 'I care for someone with dementia.'

Best wishes.
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,002
Colchester
Del24

I always look on this site for help and advice to look after my wife.
Most times I find answers to my problems but just recently all I can find is threads about man problems such as posts about male body parts, male bodily functions and male sexual activities.
Why are their no equivalent post about females.
Because it would not be allowed to be posted by the adjudicator.
Is this sexism?
Hello there Del. There are postings about ladies, but two things ! One I believe most carers are ladies looking after men. And also, by the very nature of men, they usually are more interested in their 'bits' and bodily functions. Also more used to be looked after by mum, regardless of age, until they get a wife. Therefore they say and do more, probably than women,even though they have dementia. My Mum died in February and never showed or said anything 'inappropriate'. But her swearing was terrible!!! I also worked in a care home and can vouch that men were often (not all men) a bit rude. Not the women. Maybe if there is a male carehome worker out there they could tell us of their experiences in this way with men and women patients . Thinking back to what problems I have read about, there have been many about ladies as well as men. Hope this helps.
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
Moving away from any thoughts of sexism, censorship or anything, I think the best idea is just to ask your question Del and if any of us can help I'm sure we will


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garnuft

Registered User
Sep 7, 2012
6,585
Moving away from any thoughts of sexism, censorship or anything, I think the best idea is just to ask your question Del and if any of us can help I'm sure we will


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Why should the conversation be moved away from sexism?
It's pertinent to the OP.



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garnuft

Registered User
Sep 7, 2012
6,585
Original Poster. The person who started the thread.


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malomm

Registered User
Mar 23, 2014
237
Campania Region, Italy
I think at times very intimate female problems can be a bit daunting to we male/husband carers. At first I had hoped to be able to rely on female family (daughter in law & sister in law) for some help. When I began to realise that none would be forthcoming, bit the bullet and can now blithely go around buying bras and knickers; helping get them on and off when necessary, and even deal with a bit of occasional
minor incontinence. If/when real incontinence kicks in, will have to think again.
keep smiling,
malomm
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
You will manage malomm the same as we all do. It's not a gender thing, its hard for us all to deal with these changes and tasks we never thought would be necessary for us to perform.
 

Del24

Registered User
Aug 17, 2014
67
Hertfordshire
Just for the record in the Uk two thirds of people with dementia are women.
I found the information on this website.
So men outnumber women as carers.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,835
London
Err, no, because a lot of women are looked after by their daughters or other people of the female persuasion.
 
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Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,002
Colchester
Malomm

I think at times very intimate female problems can be a bit daunting to we male/husband carers. At first I had hoped to be able to rely on female family (daughter in law & sister in law) for some help. When I began to realise that none would be forthcoming, bit the bullet and can now blithely go around buying bras and knickers; helping get them on and off when necessary, and even deal with a bit of occasional
minor incontinence. If/when real incontinence kicks in, will have to think again.
keep smiling,
malomm
Well done there! xxx
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
Just for the record in the Uk two thirds of people with dementia are women.
I found the information on this website.
So men outnumber women as carers.
I wonder how many of those are looked after by men. I suspect the minority


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garnuft

Registered User
Sep 7, 2012
6,585
Insulting men who care and love is not the way to equality.


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Suzanna1969

Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
346
Essex
I think at times very intimate female problems can be a bit daunting to we male/husband carers. At first I had hoped to be able to rely on female family (daughter in law & sister in law) for some help. When I began to realise that none would be forthcoming, bit the bullet and can now blithely go around buying bras and knickers; helping get them on and off when necessary, and even deal with a bit of occasional
minor incontinence. If/when real incontinence kicks in, will have to think again.
keep smiling,
malomm
Good for you Malomm for stepping up to the plate. I'm sorry you didn't get the help you hoped for.

Del I look after my Mum who has Dementia and my Dad who has Parkinsonism. I don't live with them so chances are my Dad may be faced with the 'problems' of which you speak (but don't specify) when I am not there. I hope he will confide in me if and when it happens so that I can help. So far he's not had to deal with incontinence as I've been there on the rare occasions it's occurred and he's managed to cope with doing up bras when required!

If you are talking about more intimate problems as have been discussed by some of the ladies on the forum recently I am sure that, if you give as much information as you feel comfortable with, you will get advice from members which could help. But, as they say, if you don't ask you don't get!

There may be a few more female contributors here than male but I have never felt there is an iota of sexism, although personally I have noticed that, when discussing problems of a sexual nature, the majority of replies don't seem to acknowledge the sexual desires of the person involved as being a serious issue, but as something to be dismissed with speed and efficiency.

That's an honest observation and not meant to be a criticism.