Hi, so are you saying it is low so not so bad, or it is bad? She refuses all help apart from us because it is free . She doesn't get dressed very often, most days in bed, only eating snacks out of a packet such as crisps. She claims she can't taste food but is a heavy chain smoker, smoking in bed as well. Fire services have supplied bedding, bucket and alarms which is slightly reassuring but still....... . The relationship between mother and son isn't the best (he is extreme critically vulnerable) and she has only just allowed me in the house in recent weeks, which is very neglected. I have had to deal with badly soiled piles of clothing, bedding, and layers of filth. If I add here, over 20 years of being thought very little off and no interest in her family and now feeling like I am being pushed into caring for her, does make it difficult. I want the best outcome for her as becoming vulnerable, and she needs to be safe warm and fed nutritious meals (tried, she prefers a cigarette and coffee) . She does have meal replacement drinks now from the GP as underweight. Needs help to remember medication which often is found on the floor, another worry as caught her dog trying to eat them. She shows no interest in walking the dog or picking up his mess when he is kept in too long. So you can imagine the mess at times. I am trying to do regular walks of him which is a pleasant aspect, and we did get him to a groomers as he was so matted up. But at what point do we think of removing him and how do we introduce the idea his welfare is a concern. Happy to adopt him so he could visit her. I feel a bit put upon though, assumptions that I will be the carer, when even her son has said I am not. I have my own mum, and two teenagers and their needs, as well as husband who is ill. How do I say no without compromising her needs?